She retied her cloak.
"I've missed the chance to lie down on something warm and smelling of her body, darn."
Elaine looked at Randwulf. Last night his words would have bothered her, but not now. She was almost as eager to touch him as he was to touch her, but for very different reasons.
Blaine brought a blanket and laid it down before the fire. Randwulf knelt on the blanket.
"Could you loosen your collar so I can lay hands on the wound?" Elaine asked.
He opened his mouth to say some smart, teasing thing. She raised a hand, and said, "You are wasting my time. Do you want me to heal you or not?". Randwulf looked as chastened as he was capable of and said, "Yes, please."
"Then loosen your collar and lie down before the fire."
He did as he was told. Elaine knelt over him, folding the fur back below his shoulders. She pulled the cloth away from the wound. Every tooth mark was like a small, frozen puddle of blood, except the blood trembled and shook, held in place by something more mysterious than ice.
"Your healing did this?" she asked.
Silvanus peered over her shoulder. "Yes. I did not have enough strength to heal it completely, but enough to heal the spine and the deeper injuries."
Her fingers hovered over the wound. "Will it be different healing a more serious wound?"
"Perhaps, perhaps not. You seem to have a quick grasp of such matters. Explore the wound and see."
Her hands fell against the skin, almost without her wanting them to. Her fingertips traced the edges of the sunken wounds. Elaine almost expected to feel something holding in the blood, but her fingertips touched wetness. The blood was surprisingly warm, skin temperature.
The blood welled around her fingers, trickling in tiny rivulets down his skin. She dug fingers into the open wounds. Randwulf gasped, raising his head. Elaine forced his head down with one hand. Blood stained his curls.
Her invisible fingers slipped below the skin. The spine was not smooth. She could trace the joints between the vertebrae, but the neck vertebrae were thick with extra bone, scar tissue. Two of the vertebrae were fused together. No wonder his neck hurt. If the bones were left to heal bound together, he would lose some of the movement of his neck. Elaine wasn't sure how she knew that, but she could suddenly see not only his injury but what it meant for him, what would happen if it weren't fixed.
It was as if some window in her mind that had been closed had opened, and she could see things she hadn't before.
She touched the bone and rubbed it between her fingers. It wasn't like healing an injury. The bone was healed, but it wasn't right, and she sought the flaws. Blood flowed in a sheet across her hands, down his neck. She rubbed the bump down and down, until the vertebrae were even. Her invisible fingernails found the fused line and cut it open again. Her hands easily moved the neck back and forth.
"Does that hurt?"
"Mo, it doesn't." Randwulf said. He sounded surprised.
The blood flowing down her hands was so warm. It spread into the snow like red punch. She was fascinated with the crimson splashes. There was so much of it that the blood began eating through the snow like warm water.
"Close the wounds, Elaine." Silvanus's voice was still calm, but there was an undercurrent of urgency.
She turned to him, slowly. She didn't want to look away from the blood, wanted to stare at it, feel it pour down her hands forever.
Silvanus touched her shoulder. "Elaine, close the wounds."
She turned back to the bloody neck. Elaine couldn't see the injuries anymore. The blood covered them, but she could still feel the bite marks under her hands. Randwulf lay very still under her touch. She turned her invisible touch deeper into his body. She found his life fluttering. He was dying. Why?
She stared at the blood spreading into the snow. "I'm killing him," she said softly.
"Yes," Silvanus said.
EIGHTEEN
"You must close the wounds, now," repeated Sil-vanus.
Elaine pulled her fingers together almost like making a fist. The skin smoothed behind her movement. She drew her thumbs over the flesh, leveling the last few imperfections.
"Let me see what you've done, Elaine." Silvanus's voice was careful, gentle, the way you'd talk to a frightened child.
"He's fine," she said.
Thordin encircled her wrists and lifted her hands from the man's neck. The blood ran onto his hands. He knelt, holding Elaine's hands.
"You can let go of me, Thordin."
He looked at Silvanus. The elf had wiped away the blood and was examining Randwulf's neck. "It's perfect." He looked up as if just realizing that Thordin was holding on. "Release her, it is her first major healing. She got carried away. It happens."
Thordin released her. He wiped the blood onto clean snow until his hands were clean.
Elaine knelt, holding her bloody hands in front of her. Blood trickled down her wrists into her sleeves and cooled quickly in the cold air. She rubbed her fingertips together. The sensation of congealing blood squeezing between her fingers was. interesting. She rubbed her hands together, slowly, studying the feel of it.
"Stop it, stop it!"
She looked up, startled. Jonathan was standing over her, face mottled with anger.
"You are corrupt."
"Jonathan, it is often difficult to control such powers at first. She will do better with practice."
"Practice? She nearly killed the boy."
Silvanus nodded. "But she didn't kill him."
"I saw her face. We all did. She enjoyed it. Look at her, smearing blood on her hands." His face mirrored the disgust in his voice.
Elaine lowered her bloody hands to her lap. Tears tightened her throat. It was hard after all these years. Once, only days ago, Jonathan's opinion had meant more to her than anyone's, even Blaine's. Her brother could be foolish, leading with his heart rather than his head. She'd depended on Jonathan to help her think clearly, to see all sides of a subject. Now she knew there were some sides the great mage-finder didn't want to understand. And one of them, sadly, was her own.
"She has done nothing wrong, Master Ambrose," the wizard said. He was still kneeling on the ground near the elf. The smile was gone from his face. His blue eyes looked harsh and distant as a winter sky.
"I did not say she had."
"Your face said more than your words."
Jonathan turned away, anger making his movements abrupt. Tereza had come up sometime during the healing. Elaine hadn't seen her come. Tereza touched his shoulder, but he pulled away from her. "I cannot change what I am. I cannot."
"Jonathan, please …"
Elaine stood up, leaving both the wizard and her brother's comforting touches behind. "Why do you protest, Tereza? You fear me, too. I saw it in your eyes."
"Elaine, we love you," Tereza said.
"But you still fear me." Tears threatened to close her throat tight. No, no more crying. Blast it all, she was an adult. She didn't need their approval. She wanted it, but didn't need it.
"I know you would never hurt us," Tereza said.
"Do you? Do you really?" She searched the older woman's face, trying to judge the words. Elaine couldn't read her thoughts at that moment and didn't try to. Not out of fear of what she would find out, but out of politeness. If it was rude to eavesdrop, it had to be doubly rude to read another's thoughts without permission.
"The evil is not in the girl," the elf said.
Tereza looked down at him. "We don't think she's evil."
"That's a lie," Elaine said. The tears trailed silently down her cheeks. Tereza's mind had opened to her like a window. She thought that Elaine's burgeoning powers had harmed the man. Tereza knew Elaine hadn't meant to do it, but she had so little control. Images swam in Tereza's mind of the night in the shed over the corpse of the murdered man.