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— Go ahead — he allowed.

Once the blade came into contact with the  collar, a  cell phone in Torres’s pocket rang. He answered the call, said, "u nder control, d on’t worry, I’m fine", and put it down.

Jeanne, meanwhile, tried hard to make a dent on the collar. On the next attempt, the nail clipper slid off the smooth surface and thrust a few millimeters in the coordinator's neck.

— Oh shit! — she said.

— You be careful there — he muttered — I'm alive after all.

At this point his cell phone rang again. He sighed and said into the phone: " T hat's okay ... I told you, no reason to worry ... yes, under my responsibility ... well, I I’ll take it into account. Lights out. ”

A few droplets of blood rolled down on his neck, gradually forming a fair red spot on his shirt. Photographers clicked their cameras excitedly.

— Mr. Torres, let me call the doctor and the police — said the host.

— Drop that nonsense — threw the coordinator unhappily, fitting a napkin he took off the table around his neck — it’s just a scratch. But the charming Miss Rohner has just got on the front pages. Right, Miss?

— I'm sorry — murmured Jeanne — it was an accident. Can I somehow...

— Yes, you can. A dinner with a bottle of red. I was going to try the local Vineland. The advertisement declares   their  wine is made according to the ancient Vikings recipes. Exotics. Agreed? Good. L et's move on then .

Inaori giggled and turned to Lal Singh.

— How’s that, Dr. Freud?

— Now is a different story. Who knew that she would poke a saw in him.

— Or maybe she did it on purpose — Joy suggested — we, the women, can be  insidious.

— Oh! — Inaori shouted — look, the dude really looks like a penguin!

— ... Johnsen — said the penguin-like guy — I... uh... from ocean carriers association. We are concerned about the safety of navigation, in spite of… the... uh...

— Piracy — helped Torres.

— Yeah . R ight. That.

— This is a problem — agreed coordinator — Piracy exists in these waters for more than 300 years , and   w e have not eliminated it entirely yet . But our government suggests  all ship owners to install a satellite tracker. Figuratively speaking, same collar I have, but for the ship. In the event of an attack, we guarantee the arrival of maritime attack aircraft within a quarter of an hour. Any pirate ship will be destroyed, along with the crew, unconditionally and immediately. Pirates know it , and  they never come closer than 10 miles to any vessel emitting at the frequencies of our system.

— We know that, sir.

— Is that so? — Torres was surprised — What's stopping you then from engaging in a contract with our armed forces? The price is three times less  than the average shipping insurance premium. What is the problem?

— Our government prohibits relationships with... — Johnsen hesitated — ...with organizations like your armed forces. I would lose my marine license.

— Ah, that's it. In my opinion, this prohibition smells of directly aiding piracy.

— I do not know, sir Torres. We just ship goods . Politics are not our business. I would like to ask, perhaps, to if there is a diplomatic solution...

— There is no call for diplomacy  here.  You simply hire a team consisting of sailors in a Meganesian union and fail to notice they carried   a tracking unit  onboard . That’s it. The rest is none of your worries.

— Really? — Johnsen was surprised — W hy we did not know this ?

— This question is certainly not for me. I recommend you establish regular contacts with our Maritime government agency. I nformally, perhaps, if your officials   don’t endorse it . Unlike some governments, we do business, rather than put a spoke in the wheels of business for political reasons.

— I'm sorry — remarked the host nervously — we are running out of time.

— Our government is established to ensure humans’ realization of their natural and inalienable rights, — continued Torres — these rights are: equality, liberty, security, property. That's what the revolutionary French Constitution did in 1793, and what the Magna Carta of Meganesia does  today . We adhere to these guidelines and do not depart from them ever, under no  circumstances, and under no  pressure.

— Yes, of course — said the host even more nervously — thank you, Mr. Torres, for agreeing to do this meeting in the ABC-online studio, and I hope that...

The trio broke into wild laughter.

— Shat in his pants — stated Ernst.

— Exactly — supported Lal Singh.

12. Humanitarian self-defense and good publicity

After coming home at six o'clock in the morning, Malik slept in until noon. Helena, of course, has long since left for work, leaving a note on the refrigerator.

"You are reading this so you have already opened your eyes. I hope you’ll have the energy to crawl to the beach at the rock python by  5pm, there will be a party and so on. Love, kisses".

Instead of a signature there was a bright-purple lip imprint. Helena insisted on never using a lipstick of a regular  human color. Style...

Malik smiled, scratched his head and habitually poked two buttons, turning on the  coffee machine and a computer, the major instruments of a professional journalist. A minute later a  robot spew out the list of the trending articles.

The top ten included "an interview with the governor in a collar”, Green world press. Malik whistled. Jeanne Rohner flawlessly capitalized on the nail clip mishandling . The episode with the sawing was presented in a photo. The subtitle said: "Our business is to serve the collective needs of our citizens for a bargain  price (Hernando Torres, coordinator of the government of Confederation Meganesia)”.

The article began with an incident in the studio: "Torres demonstratively refused to see a doctor, and continued the conference as if nothing happened. I thought originally  he is playing a simple guy. Later, when we were sitting in a small cafe and drinking wine like a couple of clerks after work, he told me how he got into government  and  I realized: he wasn’t playing.

Illustration: A photo of Torres in a cafe — apparently taken with a mobile phone.

"Torres is an entrepreneur in the field  of tourism”, wrote Jeanne. “He enthusiastically talked about the small hotel chain which he owns together with a companion. According to him, this job gave him the experience that allowed him to win the social competition, that is, the process by which the government is appointed in Meganesia. When I asked why he wanted to this, Torres said that it gives a good practice in business and also is a good advertising. This, according to him, is a   commonplace  motive for participation in tenders for the execution of government functions.

Illustration :   T he org chart of the Meganesian government.