Birds rose screeching from the trees. Lisa was howling and Janine grabbed her, held her, turning her away.
‘Come on,’ Janine said, ‘this way. Come on.’
Shaking violently, Janine thought she would collapse, but she walked with Lisa up to the car, aware of the gravediggers shouting, and someone running and the starlings crying as they wheeled overhead.
Janine called it in.
And then she sat with Lisa in the car, waiting for the police and the ambulance. Waiting to give a witness statement. Waiting until she could go home and see her kids and try to forget the image strobing in her mind, of the heartbroken father with a gun to his head.
Chapter 48
It was hours before they were free to go and by that point Janine knew what everyone needed was some rest and relaxation, to debrief with those who had shared the experience. Pete had the kids and had promised to be back for half eight. She must be home by then so she had invited the team back to hers for pizza and beer.
Shap was making a good effort to get everyone pissed. He held a bottle out to Janine. ‘Have another,’ he said, ‘doctor’s orders.’
‘It was personal, after all,’ Lisa said quietly.
‘It usually is,’ Janine said. She caught Lisa’s expression, haunted afresh by events.
‘We did our best,’ Janine said, ‘he killed himself, no one else. I wish it hadn’t happened but we are not to blame. In that situation there was nothing else we could have done. You must believe that.’
‘Something like this,’ Richard said to Lisa, ‘it stays with you. But you will be all right. If you need some counselling, it’s available. It can help.’
‘And it’s not a sign of weakness,’ Janine said.
Lisa gave a ghost of a smile.
Butchers handed out pizza. ‘Taking orders for deserts,’ he said.
‘Double chocolate fudge ice-cream,’ Lisa said, shaking herself as if waking, and reaching for a big slice of pizza.
A good sign, Janine thought, appetite.
‘Where does she put it all?’ Richard said.
‘Hollow legs,’ Janine said.
‘Go far with a constitution like that,’ Richard said, ‘with the right management.’
‘Better ask for a transfer then, hadn’t I?’ Lisa said.
Janine smiled, glad that Richard’s rancour had gone, and that Lisa felt secure enough to make banter.
‘Try Xcalibre,’ Shap put in, ‘they’re short of a few ladies in waiting.’
‘You’re not going anywhere,’ Richard said, ‘the amount of work we’ve put into you.’
Pete came in, carrying Alfie, Tom and Charlotte following.
‘This a private do, or can anyone join in?’ Pete said.
‘Hello, little one,’ Lisa said to the baby.
Alfie burped making everyone laugh.
Janine caught Pete’s eyes, shared a look, a mutual, You OK? Got a nod in reply. She was, well – she would be. There’d be dreams and moments of sudden fear and sadness. Times when she would torment herself, picking over what she might have done differently, what might have saved Roy Gant and spared Lisa the trauma. There would be flashes of rage too, wild and random, unfocused, but Janine trusted that she’d cope.
She would keep going and learn to live with it. That was her job. Dealing with death, sudden violent death, asking questions, finding answers. That was her job.
She looked across to where Butchers was taking ice-cream requests from the kids and saw Lisa hold her arms out to hold Alfie, saw Shap sneaking out for a fag, Richard watching Janine, giving her a wink, silent support.
All those deaths, Marcie Young, Simon Carter, Don Halliwell, Roy Gant. Lives cut short.
Every day is a gift she thought. Every day. A precious gift.
Acknowledgements
Thanks to everyone involved with Blue Murder at Granada
and to all the viewers and readers.
About the Author
Cath Staincliffe is an award winning novelist, radio playwright and creator of ITV’s hit series Blue Murder, starring Caroline Quentin as DCI Janine Lewis which attracted an audience of 8.4 million viewers. Cath has been shortlisted for the Crime Writers Association Best First Novel award and for the Dagger in the Library. She was joint winner of the CWA Short Story Dagger in 2012 and shortlisted again in 2014. Looking For Trouble launched private eye Sal Kilkenny, a single parent struggling to juggle work and home, onto Manchester’s mean streets. Crying Out Loud is the eighth and latest title in the series. Letters To My Daughter’s Killer was selected for the Specsavers Crime Thriller Book Club on ITV3 in 2014. Cath also writes the Scott & Bailey books based on the popular television cop-show. She is a founder member of Murder Squad and lives in Manchester with her family.
www.cathstaincliffe.co.uk
Follow @CathStaincliffe on Twitter
