Another wave of pain rushes over me. This is too much for me to figure out right now. I need rest. I can figure out what’s going on when my head clears.
I weave up the slope, my hand touching the ground with every step to steady myself. In the distance, I hear a hum that sounds a lot like the drone of traffic, but there are no other noises.
Good. The farther away civilization is, the better.
As I climb out of the dip in the land, I see a glow rising above a jagged horizon in the general direction of where San Diego should be.
Good. Maybe the change hasn’t affected things as much as I feared.
Off to my right is a line of vehicle lights on a road — the source of the hum. Scattered here and there are other lights, too, homes I’m guessing, but none are closer than a few miles.
My luck seems to be holding.
I randomly choose a direction and start walking. I can’t describe how utterly exhausted I feel. I don’t think there’s a single atom in my body not pleading for me to lie down and close my eyes.
In this condition, it’s no wonder I don’t hear the footsteps behind me until a moment before I’m hit in the back. I trip over my own feet and take a slow tumble to the grass. I have enough energy to roll onto my back, but not enough to stand.
Lidia sways a few feet away, her face twisted in fury and pain.
“Where do you… think… you’re going?”
“Go away, Lidia. Leave me alone.” To be honest I can’t help but wonder if this spot might be where I lie forever.
A growl starts low in her chest and becomes a scream the moment she throws herself at me. I curl to the side to protect the satchel and chaser a second before she smashes into me.
She claws at my shirt, at my neck, at my hair. A fingernail rips a gouge across the skin just above my collarbone.
“Get off!” I yell as I throw back an elbow.
It connects with her jaw, knocking it into her skull while at the same time causing my arm to feel like it’s been rung like a bell. The sting is so acute, I look at my arm, thinking it must be broken, but instead of seeing bone sticking through my skin, I see Kane’s knife still in my hand.
I pull away from Lidia and am somehow able to get my knees under me. From there I lurch to my feet. “Go, Lidia. You’re done. Go and enjoy what you’ve created while you can.”
She pushes herself up and rubs her jaw. Her gaze flicks to my hand, and she huffs, “What? Are you going to cut me?”
“I said go.”
She starts walking toward me. “Or what?”
“Just go!”
I take a backward step, but she keeps coming until she’s only a few feet away. Holding her arms out wide to her side, she says, “Go on, Denny. The first slice is free.”
I don’t want to do this. Why can’t she accept the fate that she’s created for herself?
After a few seconds, she drops her arms and laughs. “I knew you didn’t have it in you. You caste dregs are all the same.”
She sneers as if she thinks she can simply take the knife out of my hand.
Ellie.
Iffy.
The billions and billions who now have never been.
Yes, I’ve done my share of erasing, but my crimes pale compared to Lidia’s. I did what I did for love — for my sister and for Iffy. Lidia? Her motivation has been spite and anger and jealousy. The only one she’s contorted history for is herself.
In a burst of speed that surprises even me, I rush at her. Her eyes widening, she reaches for the knife, but I jerk my hand so that it flows under her outstretched arm and drive the blade into her chest.
Confusion is the first emotion that rolls over her face. Her hands go to the wound, and when she sees blood on her fingers, fear rushes in. She takes a staggering step before falling backward.
“Wha… what…” She loses her train of thought as she looks at her hands again.
Slowly, as if she is just going to bed, she lowers her back all the way to the ground. Her eyes, however, remain open as she stares between blinks at the night sky.
I didn’t want it to go this way, but she’s left me no choice.
She is Kali, the goddess of time and destruction, to the end. Because though my hand is holding the knife, she has destroyed herself.
When I kneel beside her, her lips begin to move, but she emits not even a whisper.
I stay there, my bloody hand holding hers until the life finally fades from her eyes.
Gently, I shake her just to be sure. “Lidia?”
No reaction.
“Lidia?”
It is truly and finally over. I have stopped her in the most permanent way.
I lay her arms beside her and close her eyelids. The last is for me, a final gesture that proves to me she’s gone, and perhaps, to a lesser extent, that in killing her I haven’t lost all of my humanity.
What I really should do is dig a grave. There’s no way to know who might live around here, and I certainly wouldn’t want some kids stumbling upon her body. The problem is, I don’t have enough strength to even start.
Doesn’t matter anyway, I remind myself. Once I jump out of here, I’ll change the past, and Lidia’s body, along with whatever reality this 2015 (or 2018 or whenever this is) has become will disappear.
Right.
Good.
Not an issue then.
The next thing I know, I’m stretched out on the grass beside her. I don’t remember lying down, but, well, it does feel good.
Maybe I’ll rest for a few minutes, just get a little strength. Five minutes, tops, and then I’ll find someplace else to hole up, where I’ll be out of the sun when it rises.
Good thinking.
A few minutes. That’s all.
Just…
… a…
… few—
CHAPTER TWENTY
Voices.
Sunlight.
No, close your eyes. Don’t let it in.
A dream. The same one that has been wrapped around me for what feels like forever. Iffy and I on a pier overlooking the ocean. Ellie is there, too. We’re having hot dogs. Or maybe ice cream.
Voices.
My body shakes.
I say something, though I’m not sure if it’s in my mind or aloud.
Pressure on my thigh. And then a sting at the cut on my back.
Voices.
A prick on my arm, near my elbow. It hurts only for a moment so there’s no need to open my eyes and check… not that I could if I wanted to.
The dream. Iffy and I in her car. Well, it’s not her car. It’s Marilyn’s. Only it’s not Marilyn’s, either. Music on the radio that Iffy sings to as we drive and drive and drive.
A song I’ve never heard.
With lyrics I don’t actually understand.
Waking seems to take forever. It must be evening, though, because I no longer feel the heat of the sun on my skin.
Sun? Why would I be sleeping outside?
For a while the question ebbs and flows in importance. But as the tendrils of unconsciousness continue falling away, I begin to remember everything.
Lidia.
The Mongols.
My satchel.
Oh, God. The knife.
She’s dead.
I’ve stopped her. That has been my primary goal up until now, and with the knowledge that it has been achieved comes a huge sense of relief, despite what it ultimately took for me to accomplish it.
I then try to recall where I moved to after I left Lidia’s body, but I don’t actually remember getting back up. Am I still beside her?
The thought causes me to wrench open my eyes. I look left and right, confused.