“I believe that he means well, Palin,” Laurana returned. “Medan has no love for the dragon.”
“He has no love for anyone except himself. Don’t be fooled by his show of concern. Medan avoids trouble for Medan, that is all. He is caught in a quandary. If the attacks and sabotage continue, his superiors will relieve him of his command, and from what I’ve heard of their new Lord of the Night Targonne, Medan might well be relieved of his head. Now, if you will excuse me, I will go divest myself of this heavy cloak. I will meet you in the atrium.”
Palin departed, the folds of his black traveling cloak sweeping behind him. His stance was straight, his walk quick and firm.
Laurana looked after him, troubled.
“Madam,” said Gerard, finding his tongue at last. “I agree with Palin. You must not trust this Marshal Medan. He is a Dark Knight, and although they speak of honor and sacrifice their words are empty and hollow as their souls.”
“I know you are right,” Laurana said. “Still, I have seen the seed of good fall in the darkest swamp to grow strong and beautiful though it was poisoned by the most noxious miasma. And I have seen the same seed, nurtured by the softest rains and the brightest sunshine, grow twisted and ugly, to bear a bitter fruit.”
She continued to gaze after Palin. Sighing, she shook her head and turned around. “Come along, Tas. I would like you and Gerard to see the rest of the wonders I have in my house.”
Cheerfully dripping, Tasslehoff climbed out of the pond. “You go ahead, Gerard. I want to talk to Laurana alone for a moment. It’s a secret,” he added.
Laurana smiled at the kender. “Very well, Tas. Tell me your secret. Kalindas,” she said to the elf who had been waiting silently all this time, “escort Gerard to the house. Show him to one of the guest rooms.”
Kalindas did as commanded. As he showed Gerard the way to the house, the elf’s tone was gracious, but he kept his hand on the hilt of his sword.
When they were alone, Laurana turned to the kender.
“Yes, Tas,” she said. “What is it?”
Tas looked extremely anxious. “This is very important, Laurana. Are you sure I’m Tasslehoff? Are you extremely sure?”
“Yes, Tas, I’m sure,” Laurana said, smiling indulgently. “I don’t know how or why, but I am quite certain you are Tasslehoff.”
“It’s just that I don’t feel like Tasslehoff,” Tas continued earnestly.
“You don’t seem yourself, Tas, that is true,” Laurana replied.
“You are not as joyful as I remember you to be. Perhaps you are grieving for Caramon. He led a full life, Tas, a life of love and wonder and joy, he had his share of sorrow and trouble, but the dark days only made the days of light shine brighter. You were his good friend. He loved you. Don’t be sad. He wouldn’t want you to be unhappy.”
“That’s not what’s making me unhappy,” Tas protested.
“That is, I was unhappy when Caramon died because it was so unexpected, even though I was expecting it. And I still sometimes have a lump of unhappiness right here in my throat when I think about him being gone, but I can manage a lump. It’s the other feeling I can’t manage, because I never felt anything like it before.”
“I see. Perhaps we could talk about this later, Tas,” Laurana said and started toward the house.
Tas caught hold of her sleeve, hung on for dear life. “It’s the feeling that came to me when I saw the dragon!”
“What dragon?” Laurana stopped, turned back. “When did you see a dragon?”
“While Gerard and I were riding into Qualinesti. The dragon came around to take a look at us. I was. . .” Tas paused, then said in a awful whisper, “I think I was. . . scared.” He gazed at Laurana with round eyes, expecting to see her reel backward into the pond, stunned with the shock and horror of this unnatural occurrence.
“You were wise to be scared, Tas,” Laurana replied, taking the terrible news quite calmly. “The dragon Beryl is a loathsome, fearsome beast. Her claws are stained with blood. She is a cruel tyrant, and you are not the first to be afraid in her presence. Now, we should not keep the others waiting.”
“But it’s me, Laurana! Tasslehoff Burrfoot! Hero of the Lance!”
Tas pounded himself frantically on his chest. “I’m not afraid of anything. There’s a giant in the other time who’s about to step on me and probably squash me flat, and that gives me a sort of squirmy feeling in my stomach when I think about it, but this is different. “He sighed deeply. “You must be mistaken. I can’t be Tasslehoff and be afraid.”
The kender was truly upset, that much was obvious. Laurana regarded him thoughtfully. “Yes, this is different. This is very strange. You have been around dragons before, Tas.”
“All sorts of dragons, “Tas said proudly. “Blues and reds and greens and blacks, bronze and copper and silver and gold. I even flew on the back of one. It was glorious.”
“And you never felt dragonfear?”
“I remember thinking that dragons were beautiful in an awful kind of way. And I felt afraid, but that was for my friends, never for myself. Much.”
“This must have been true of the other kender, as well,” Laurana mused, “the kender we now call ‘afflicted.’ Some of them must have experienced dragonfear years ago, during the War of the Lance and after. Why would these experiences be different? I never thought about it.”
“Lots of times people don’t think about us,” Tas said in an understanding tone. “Don’t feel bad”
“But I do feel badly, “Laurana sighed. “We should have done something to help the kender. It’s just that there’s been so much happening that was more important. Or at least it seemed more important. If this fear is different from dragonfear, I wonder what it could be? A spell, perhaps?”
“That’s it!” Tas shouted. “A spell! A curse!” He was thrilled.
“I’m under a curse from the dragon. Do you truly think SO?”
“I really don’t know—” Laurana began, but the kender was no longer listening.
“A curse! I’m cursed!” Tasslehoff gave a blissful sigh. “Dragons have done lots of things to me but I’ve never before had one curse me! This is almost as good as the time Raistlin magicked me into a duck pond. Thank you, Laurana,” he said, fervently shaking her hand and accidently removing the last of her rings. “You have no idea what a weight you have taken off my mind. I can be Tasslehoff now. A cursed Tasslehoff! Let’s go tell Palin!
“Say, speaking of Palin,” Tas added in a piercing whisper, “when did he become a Black Robe? The last I saw him, he was Head of the Order of White Robes! What made him change? Was it like Raistlin? Is someone else inhabit-habitat-habitating Palin’s body?”
“Black robes, white robes, red robes, the distinction between one and the other is now gone, Tas,” Laurana said. “Palin wore black robes because he wanted to blend in with the night.” She looked at the kender oddly. “Palin was never Head of the Order of White Robes. What made you think that?”
“I’m beginning to wonder,” Tasslehoff said. “I don’t mind telling you, Laurana, but I’m extremely confused. Maybe someone’s inhabitating my body,” he added, but without much hope.
With all the strange feelings and lumps, there just didn’t seem to be room for anyone else in there.
Chapter Sixteen
Tasslehoff’s Tale
The Queen Mother’s house was built on the side of a cliff overlooking Qualinesti. Like all elven structures, the house blended with nature, seemed a part of the landscape, as, indeed, much of it was. The elven builders had constructed the house so as to utilize the cliff-face in the design. Seen from a distance, the house appeared to be a grove of trees growing on a broad ledge that jutted out from the cliff. Only when one drew closer, did one see the path leading up to the house and then one could tell that the trees were in reality walls, their branches the roof and that cliff was also used for many of the walls of the house.