Dr Thorpe paused.
‘Yes,’ said Vogel, with a little smile. ‘I have encountered that. Mrs Amelia Ferguson is certainly a woman of strong opinions.’
‘So I understand. Well, Jane admitted that there had been times during her marriage when she’d wished that she hadn’t been quite so principled on the issue of her paternity. But you know, although she disliked the unpleasantness, she didn’t seem to me ever to be unduly upset by it. This was a young woman who considered herself to be happily married, who made it quite clear that she loved her husband deeply, and was absolutely sure that he loved her.
‘She was perfectly well physically. She had two beautiful children whom she clearly adored. Her only unhappiness, it seemed, was these dreams. However, she talked about them frankly, and without embarrassment. And she certainly did not link them in any way to the two issues which seemed to be the only flaws in an otherwise charmed life: her lack of acknowledgeable paternity and her strained relationship with her in-laws. She did say if she’d been a brain surgeon or a famous television personality when she’d met her husband, instead of a waitress, it may have helped, but she wasn’t entirely sure. She had a nice sense of humour, and seemed able to see the funny side of most of the negative things in her life. But not those terrible dreams.’
Dr Thorpe paused again, studying intently the computer screen before her.
‘Yes, here’s something I was looking for. She said concerning her lack of a father: “You don’t miss what you never had.” Of course, often in these sorts of circumstances the relationship between the single parent and their child is particularly close, and there is little doubt that was so with Jane and her mother. When Alice died suddenly and unexpectedly, Jane was devastated. But she also seemed to have come to terms with it well enough. By the time I came in contact with her, anyway. She said that when she met Felix, just a few months after her mother died, he brought such joy and support into her life that... ’
There was another brief pause, then Dr Thorpe read directly from the screen again: ‘“It was almost as if my mother had sent him to love and look after me in her place.”’
Vogel was thoughtful.
‘And yet, in spite of her professed happy life, or by and large happy, she suffered from nightmares so severe that both she and her husband thought it necessary to seek professional help,’ he remarked. ‘Isn’t that the case?’
‘It most certainly is, Mr Vogel. She discussed freely the effect the nightmares were having not only on her, but also on her husband and her children—’
‘Her children knew about these nightmares then?’ Vogel interrupted.
‘Well, to some degree, yes. Apparently, her screaming was sometimes so bad that the children were woken up. I pushed her repeatedly on the content of her dreams, but she was adamant that she had no memory of them when she awoke. She described the fear she experienced pretty graphically, though.’
Again Dr Thorpe read from the screen before her.
‘“I feel as if I cannot breathe, as if my breath is being taken away from me. I am in shock, I think. I am never sure whether something terrible is actually happening to me in my dreams, or I am witnessing something terrible. I have never experienced such terror when I’ve been awake, not in the whole of my life, thank God. Felix has always been very good at calming me down. But lately I know I have been quite out of control. I hyperventilate. A couple of times I have lashed out at him. It’s just so awful for both of us.”’
‘That really is extreme, isn’t it?’ interjected Saslow.
‘Yes, indeed,’ said the doctor. ‘And on a regular basis, pretty unbearable. Ultimately I concluded that there was no way I could help Jane without knowing the cause of her dreams. That’s why I suggested regression therapy.’
‘Right. When you take a patient back under hypnosis to their childhood, or some time in their past?’
‘Yes, DCI Vogel. As there seemed to be nothing in Jane’s present life, or in her conscious memory, that might have been causing her dreams, this seemed to be the logical next step.’
‘And she was agreeable to it?’
‘Absolutely. She told me she was desperate to get to the bottom of her problem, and would do anything to do so.’
‘At that stage did you not think suicide was something she might consider? After all, you said yourself she was desperate.’
‘Well, it was clear that something was triggering a severe psychological reaction within Jane, so under those circumstances any medical professional would be irresponsible to dismiss suicidal tendencies entirely, but this was a young woman who was desperate to solve her only real problem in life. There appeared to be no desperation in her concerning the life that she led. She was more than happy with her lot. She just wanted to live free of the nightmares, and she gave every impression that she considered herself to be someone who had everything to live for. I never felt for a moment that she wanted to die. But, I guess I did have to admit, after what happened next, that I came to realize that Jane Ferguson might be considerably more complicated than she appeared to be... ’
‘We have reason to believe she may have been self-harming. There were old scars of small cuts on her wrists and lower arms. Did you have any knowledge of this?’
‘No, no, not at all. I’m a psychiatrist, I do not usually examine people physically. Come to think of it, I don’t recall ever seeing her wearing anything that didn’t have long sleeves. Or I would have thought I would have noticed. But she certainly never mentioned anything like that, and there was nothing in her behaviour that might have made me suspect it.’
‘We also discovered bruising on her body which has led us to explore the possibility of ongoing physical abuse—’
‘Really?’ interrupted the doctor. ‘By her husband, do you mean?’
‘Well, I couldn’t possibly confirm that. But her husband would be a suspect, obviously. Did you have any reason to consider anything of that nature?’
‘No, not at all. Certainly not at her husband’s hands. She repeatedly praised his kindness and his patience.’
‘So, what was it that happened next? Did you have the regression therapy sessions?’
‘Well, we had one. It was not conclusive in any way. But it was definitely disturbing. Jane proved to be easily susceptible to hypnosis, and, at first, I was confident we were going to have a successful session. I follow fairly standard procedure in such cases, trying to take the subject back to his or her earliest memories. Jane began to talk freely about her childhood. She appeared to have been happy both at home and at school. She needed little encouragement to tell stories of days out with her mother, the little dog they acquired, her schoolfriends, her teachers, her first bicycle, one of those with the two little balancing wheels at the back. All very normal stuff. And she showed no sign of distress as she regressed back into her childhood. But I did realize that everything she spoke about was after school-going age, five, or maybe six. She couldn’t be drawn on anything earlier, any stories about herself as a baby or a toddler, learning to walk and talk, that sort of thing. Now, it’s pretty usual for people not to have first-hand memories of that time of their life, but they nearly always have quite extensive second-hand memories.’
Dr Thorpe paused.
‘You understand what I mean, Mr Vogel? I expect you know how much you weighed when you were born, what your first words were, how you behaved as a baby, that sort of thing. But it’s not because you actually remember it. It’s because your parents told you. Isn’t that so?’