Dalziel examined the apparatus.
“Do yourself a nasty injury with that,” he opined.
He floated above the open door in silence for a while.
“Penny for them,” said Pascoe.
“Still charge a penny, do they,” said Dalziel. “No, I was just thinking. The Frenchie was so chuffed at being the first to land, and he’d got his little speech ready and all; and he’d not been too long gone from Europa where he had summat like a proper bog...”
“So?”
“So how come he got so desperate he had to take a leak on the ladder with the eyes of the universe on him?”
“No one would know,” pointed out Pascoe.
“He’d know,” said Dalziel grimly. “And the data would register on the monitors up here, so they’d know. And then it would be transmitted back to Control on Earth so everyone there’d know. And you can bet your bottom dollar someone would leak the leak to the tabloids, so every bugger in the universe would know! So why’d he do it?”
“Stage fright? Or perhaps he drank something. Didn’t someone mention something about coffee?”
“Aye. The Dane said he’d been moaning on about how bloody awful it was.”
“There you are, then,” said Pascoe dismissively. “Coffee’s supposed to be pretty diuretic, isn’t it?”
And the word switched on a light in Dalziel’s lingual memory.
“Bugger me!” he said.
“Why?” said Pascoe with unusual facetiousness.
“That powder in the Testament, I know what it is. It’s ground-down Thiabon tablets.”
“You what?”
“Thiabon. Trade name for the latest thiazide drug. Quack put me on ’em last year for me blood pressure. They work by releasing sodium from the tissues and stimulating the kidneys to wash it out. In other words, they make you pee!”
“A lot?”
“Worse than draught lager,” said Dalziel. “In coffee, I reckon they’d have most men going in half an hour. And the buildup’s constant. No use crossing your legs. You’ve got to go!”
“What are you saying, Andy?” asked Pascoe with a frown of concentration.
“No use fixing Lemarque’s suit unless you can be sure he’s going to trigger the short circuit, is there? So you feed him a diuretic that you know about because you’ve been prescribed it yourself!”
“Hey,” interposed Druson. “You’re not confessing, are you, Andy? It’ll take more than that to get Kaufmann off the hook.”
“No,” said Dalziel. “But I know someone else who suffered from mild hypertension a while back and could have been put on these pills. Hey, lass. Got a minute?”
Silvia Rabal came down from the bridge. Hair piled up in its comb and wearing a silkily thin leotard in yellow and green, she hovered before them like some tropical bird.
Dalziel said, “Before word came through that Lemarque was to be first out, who’d won when you drew lots?”
She thought, then said, “Kevin. But I do not think anyone really believed they would let us decide ourselves...”
“Believing the impossible’s never bothered the Irish,” said Dalziel. “So in O’Meara’s mind, he should have had the honour of being first out. And besides getting the Freedom of Dublin city and draught Guinness for life, it’d mean money in the bank when it came to writing his memoirs!”
Pascoe was shaking his head, unimpressed.
“It’s a pretty feeble motive for killing a man,” he said. “Now if you were saying it was a daft Irish joke...”
“Why not?” exclaimed Dalziel, now in full flow. “Why not that too? There’s nothing he can do about stopping Lemarque, but he can ruin his big moment. If the timing’s right, there he’ll be, standing on the ladder with all eyes on him, just about to launch into his big speech when suddenly he’s got to pee. All right, he may have the nerve to carry that off, but not if his suit’s been fixed to give him a short sharp shock along the dong? Man’d need to be Christian martyr material not to register that! In fact, with a bit of luck, he might even fall off the ladder! Great gag, eh? Only without realizing, O’Meara had fixed it so that all the electronics in the TEC would jam, and the joke goes sour, and the poor bloody Frog is lying dead.”
Pascoe regarded him doubtfully, hopefully, longingly, like a pagan on the brink of conversion, and Dalziel’s brain started working overtime, drawing fragile threads together in an effort to plait a cord that would bear the other’s soul up to heaven.
“Someone, Kaufmann I think it was, said something about Lemarque twitting O’Meara about being a boxer. Suppose he knew that his nickname as a lad had been K.O.? Mebbe he’d taken a peek in yon Testament. And suppose what he scribbled in his journal wasn’t Ka is getting angry, but Ko is getting angry. And if he was on the alert, mebbe when he felt his bladder filling up at a suspicious rate, he recalled the awful coffee he’d drunk and knew where to lay the blame. What he said just before he died, Oh mer... what he was trying to say was O’Meara!”
It wasn’t much, but a man in search of salvation will make do with a candle if he doesn’t get offered a blinding light.
Pascoe said with fervent gratitude, “Andy, how have I managed without you all this time? I felt there was something about O’Meara when I talked to him. Mr. Druson, I need to get back to the Village straightaway.”
Druson was looking as if his side’s twenty-point lead had been clawed back in the fourth quarter and now in the dying seconds of the game he was watching the opposition shaping to kick a field goal.
“Come on, you guys!” he mocked, trying for time-out. “I like baloney, but this is ridiculous! Let’s just look at the facts here...”
“The only fact that need concern you, Colonel, is that we are getting into that pod and that during the flight there will be no talking with your base other than essential technical exchanges. I’m sure you understand me.”
Pascoe’s tone was courteous, his voice quiet. But it was the quietness of deep space, which can boil a man’s blood in millisecs if he challenges it unprotected.
Druson clearly believed he had that protection, for now he substituted belligerence for mockery.
“Now listen here. No limey cop gives me orders anywhere and especially not round the moon. Christ almighty, it’s taken you guys half a century to get here in this junk heap. We’ve been living here for more than—”
Pascoe cut across him like Zorro’s sword through a candle.
“Colonel Druson, you are presently on Federation territory and I would be quite within my rights to arrest you and fly the pod back myself with you under restraint. Oh yes, I could do it, believe me. Nor would my powers diminish on the moon’s surface, which is by UN accord international territory where my authority is at least equal with that of your own commander, who, incidentally, has received instructions from your president to extend me all facilities and full cooperation. I hardly think you want to be at the centre of a diplomatic incident which would wipe a mere accidental death right off our television screens. Do you!”
Now for the first time Dalziel admitted to himself how far beyond him Pascoe had gone. He’d always known that the sky was the limit for the lad, but somehow, somewhere, a step had been taken that he’d not noticed, a small step which had taken his protégé into territory where not even the mightiest of leaps could have taken Dalziel.
Druson too was taken by surprise, but like Dalziel he was a pragmatist.
“Okay, okay, Commissioner,” he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m not taking on the UN, believe me.”