Mrs. Nix wasn’t in Valhalla. Nor either of my dads. I guess not all warriors go there. I wonder if they are in heaven instead.
How much more grief will there be? Odin said there is a war coming, an end-of-the-world kind of war, and we have to keep it from happening somehow. That’s going to put everyone ’s lives in jeopardy. My heart thumps hard remembering how the world went still when I lost Nick, when I lost Mrs. Nix, how there’s a huge, gaping hole in my chest from their deaths, and my dads’ deaths, and from Betty going were and never coming home anymore. Why do we have to hurt so much? Why does life have to be so hard?
The bridge ends just by Betty’s house. The snow chugs down all around us and it’s freezing cold again. The horse stops at the edge, neighing.
I gently shake Nick’s shoulders. “Nick. Can you wake up?”
He groans, and his eyes flutter open a tiny bit. I slide off the horse, keeping my arms up so he doesn’t fall off, and then I help him swing his leg over and get down. He sags against me as I pat the horse good-bye.
“Thank you,” I tell her, and then I wrap my arm around Nick’s waist and jump the eight feet down to the driveway, bringing him with me.
There are lights on in the house. My mom’s car is in the driveway. Casting a glance behind us, I see the bridge is already gone. There is just darkness. We are back in the land of cold and war. I head us toward the light, because really that is the only direction you should ever go.
One missing Bedford
One missing Bedford boy wandered out of the woods this morning. He has no memory of any events that occurred while he was missing. Police report he is wounded but recovering.
– NEWS CHANNEL 8
My mother throws open the door. Her cheeks are tearstained and her nose is red.
“Where have you been?” she demands. “Where have-?”
“Help me get Nick to the couch,” I tell her.
Her mouth drops open, stunned, but she wraps her arm around Nick’s waist and takes some of the weight. We hustle him to the couch. Once he’s sitting, I yank off his shoes, lift up his feet, and make it so that he lies down. The entire time I’m working my mother is questioning me, demanding to know where I’ve been, how I got Nick, if I’ve seen Betty, and so on and so on. I beg off the questions until I get Nick settled. It’s only after I’ve wrapped a blanket around him that I explain, “I saved Nick.”
But that’s not exactly true, because he didn’t really need saving. He wasn’t harmed there. He was just… in the afterworld?
She falls into the chair by the woodstove, her hand over her mouth. Horror overwhelms her. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“How long was I gone?”
“A day.”
“Just a day.”
She closes her eyes. “It felt like forever. It’s the solstice today, the shortest day in the year. It’s almost Christmas.”
I go to her then because she looks so fragile and scared, as if she can’t take any more. I go to her because I love her and I say, “I am so sorry, Mom.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She brushes my words away with her hand. “I do. I was wrong to be so-to be so- I don’t have the word for it, Zara, but I should have been better when you changed. I missed you. I missed my Zara.”
“I’m right here,” I say.
“I know,” she says, and opens her arms for a hug.
Nick starts snoring on the couch, long, loud breaths. It makes us laugh.
My mom breaks off the hug first and says, “And I miss Betty. I don’t suppose you could find her too?”
“I saw her before I left, taking down some pixies. She’s next on the list,” I say. “Right along with saving the world from imminent destruction, catching up with homework, and getting into college.”
She thinks I’m kidding, but I’m not. While Nick sleeps I call Issie, Devyn, and Cassidy. Issie sneaks out of the house, and despite the curfew they all rush over and crowd into our living room. They stare down at Nick. For a little while it’s weird but amazing, like the whole room vibrates with the enormity of what we’ve done. We brought him back from the dead.
“He still snores,” Devyn says after I’ve briefed them on Valhalla and Nick’s memory loss.
“And his feet twitch like a dog’s,” Issie remarks, leaning into Devyn, who wraps his arms around her. She looks at Nick again and adds, “That is so sweet! You’re positive he’s not zombified or anything? Because he did just come back from the dead.”
“Positive.”
“I feel like we should give him a bone or something,” Cassidy says.
“Cassidy!” I punch her in the arm and she giggles.
Issie and my mom start making hot chocolate. Devyn pulls some cheese out of the fridge and puts it on a board. There’s eggnog and cookies too. It’s a celebration and the guest of honor sleeps right through it. Even with all the happy goings-on, something makes me shiver. For a second I can’t figure out what it is, and then I know-the spider feeling that I always used to get when I was human and evil pixies were around.
The doorbell rings.
“They’re going to wake up Nick!” Issie shouts as if this would be the end of the world. It’s funny because if all our commotion and her shouting don’t wake up Nick, I don’t think anything will.
I rush to the door, yanking it open. Snow and cold fly in. Astley smiles weakly.
“May I come in?” he asks.
My mom hates him. Nick hates him. I imagine Nick waking up and the first thing he sees being Astley hanging out in the kitchen, so I shake my head sadly. “Let me come out. Hold on.”
I slam on my coat and some shoes, taking a second to touch the anklet Nick gave me. It is so fragile, just like all of us, yet it’s unbroken, despite all the fights and journeys and deaths. It’s unbroken and it is still here. I tuck it safely inside my sock and join Astley on the porch. We don’t say anything for a minute. The snow falls down around us.
“Thank you,” I say, choking up a little. “I mean, I know I’ve already thanked you, but… you know, you did a lot for me. So much, I can never repay you for keeping everyone safe and helping me get to-”
His finger comes up to my lips. “You don’t have to thank me, Zara.”
“But it was a big deal.”
“That’s what kings do. That’s what friends do.” His voice becomes infinitely sad. He swallows so hard that I can see it. “How is he doing?”
I tell him as quickly as I can about Nick, about Valhalla, about us trying to prevent a war.
“There has been similar talk at the council,” he says.
“Odin or Thor said there was a traitor there,” I tell him.
He exhales like it’s news he expected but didn’t want. We are quiet for a moment. The snow trucks down. I can see the inside of my house. Everyone gathered in the kitchen, Nick still sleeping on the couch. Devyn puts his arm around Issie’s shoulders. She lifts up and kisses his cheek. Cassidy uses the cheese knife to scratch at her neck. Issie grabs it away from her. My mother stands leaning against the counter, sipping eggnog from a bright yellow mug. It looks so peaceful and warm and good, yet here I am standing outside in the cold night.