Or at least not in a very long time.
After he’d spent equal time with each breast, he stood up slowly, reluctantly. His eyes never left me, even while his hands had to. He worked his jeans off, then his boxer briefs.
He stood before me for a few heart-stopping seconds and it was my turn to take my fill of him. My heart stuttered in my chest and my fingers tingled with anticipation.
Had there ever been a more beautiful man?
I scooted back on the bed as he crawled over me, covering me completely with his length. He kissed my hip and I jerked from the sensation. His chuckle sent warm breath floating over me and I shivered again.
“So ticklish,” he murmured. His lips trailed over my abdomen and I tried not to wiggle. He kissed the place just below my belly button and then again before moving on.
His body hovered over mine like a feral animal, like some primal creature from a different world. He was so sexy, so incredibly enticing and oh so dangerous.
I couldn’t help but feel threatened by his power, his utter dominance of me. I couldn’t help but acknowledge that he was about to ruin me completely.
That I would never recover.
His mouth moved to my breasts again and I wiggled beneath him, suddenly hating the slow build. I needed this now. I needed him now.
I settled my hands on the sides of his face and begged, “Nick, please.”
He looked up at me, lust, hunger and something so much deeper reflecting in his darkened gaze. “Do you need me?” His fingers settled on the inside of my thigh, pushing it to the side.
His words made me breathless, left me gasping for some purchase on reality. I held his face in my hands and nodded, unable to speak the words.
He kissed my neck, my jaw, my lips. Then he pulled back so he could watch me while he pushed into my core, filling me completely with him.
My back arched off the bed and I wrapped my arms around his neck again, pulling his face to mine.
He took me wildly; he took me with savage need and unrelenting power. He took me in a way that proved he was just as desperate as I was. I could do nothing but wrap my legs around his hips and hold on.
Just when I thought we were nearly finished, just as I started to reach for that tingling cliff of perfect insanity, he slowed down. The abrupt change of pace surprised me and I tilted my hips, telling him what I wanted.
I needed him to finish. I needed him to keep his pace and never stop.
“Nick,” I whimpered.
“Kate,” he growled against my sweat-dotted neck. “Like this.” He took my arms and stretched them over my head. He held them there with one hand while he found leverage with the other. I could do nothing but hug my thighs tighter around his waist and offer up my control. “I need you like this.”
I thought he had been amazing seconds before, but this was something else entirely. I sighed in pleasure, my eyes fluttering closed, unable to stay open against the intensity of this moment.
He turned something desperate and greedy into something so achingly sweet I felt branded by it. He was leaving his mark, his name tattooed on my soul.
I gasped for breath as he worked us closer. He drew out each moment, making them all memorable, promising nothing else would feel this good or be this complete.
Nobody else would ever make me feel like this.
Nothing else could reach this absolute height of ecstasy.
When he finally pushed me over the edge, my entire body trembled from the force of it. He followed after me, chasing the same blissful blindness I still quivered with.
He collapsed on top of me, his skin heated and slick with sweat. We were stretched out on our bed diagonally in a sleepy tumble of limbs. His hand settled on my bare abdomen and his nose trailed up the line of my jaw, teeth nipping playfully, lips kissing, tongue tasting.
“God, we’re good at that,” I teased.
He replied with a drowsy, “Mmm…”
I snuggled closer to him. He shifted back and I missed the touch of his body immediately. The emptiness between us was too big, too cold. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me to him before I could panic.
We adjusted on the bed until his chest nestled against my back and his arms hugged my middle, holding me to him with a tightness that made me feel safe and satisfied. My eyelids drifted close and the exhaustion from the day, from Annie’s accident and from the most mind-blowing sex of my life caught up to me all at once. I couldn’t fight it anymore.
I knew there were things to talk about. I knew doubt would find me in the morning, quickly followed by regret and probably fresh heartbreak. But I physically couldn’t make my mind worry about that right now. I couldn’t make myself care.
Sensing I was slipping, he leaned over me and rubbed his roughened scruff against my check. I felt myself smile, but I couldn’t make my eyes open.
“Kate,” he coaxed in a tone that dripped with contentment and amusement. “Katie,” he whispered. “We need to talk.”
“Mmm,” I agreed. “In the morning.” I wouldn’t ruin this. Not tonight. This had been too perfect… beyond perfect. This had redefined the entire meaning of perfect for me and I refused to give that up tonight.
“Katie,” he murmured. “This changes things.”
I yawned. I was past the ability to speak. Sleep took hold and pulled me under, sending me into the peaceful slumber of relaxed dreams and the wonderful feeling of the most beautiful man’s body entwined with mine.
I woke up once during the night. I blinked awake on the wrong side of the bed with Nick’s arms still holding me to him and his legs, hot and heavy, slotted between mine. His head had pulled back from mine, presumably so he could breathe without my hair suffocating him in his sleep, but I could still feel the steady beat of his heart on my back and his hips tucked against mine, fitting exactly right.
I had a sharp, concentrated moment of panic as the reality of our actions set in. Ice cold lucid thought jerked me awake and kept me there. I felt hysterical laughter bubble in my chest, but I swallowed it down.
How did this keep happening to us?
And why had I ever thought it was a good idea for him to sleep over?
There might actually be something wrong with me.
I lay as still as possible, terrified of waking him. I tried to talk myself through my meltdown, tried to rationalize and reason my way out of it. But I couldn’t.
What we did was going to permanently screw things up between us.
We had mediation in three days.
Oh, my god, he was going to bring up the possibility of being pregnant again.
I thought I would be sick.
I focused on the night sky. I hadn’t closed my blinds tonight because Nick and I hadn’t really been thinking about those things. The stars spread from one side of my vantage to the other, glittering like diamonds on a background of onyx and indigo. The crescent moon hung like a pendant in the middle. Its milky glow stretched and spun in the tranquil sky, turning wispy clouds to gold. I concentrated on those things.
I steadied out my breathing, letting the calming rhythm of Nick’s heart soothe me back to sleep. His body was deliciously warm. He’d covered us with the comforter after I fell asleep and our mingled body heat had become something extreme, but it felt amazing.
He felt amazing.
Choosing to put off my panic till morning, I closed my eyes once again and drifted off.
By the time I woke the second time, he was awake behind me. I could feel his body twitching, his general awakeness intruding on my slumber.
I blinked at the same sky that had sung me to sleep the night before, but the moon and stars were gone, replaced by a soft violet and dusky gray. The sun hadn’t risen yet. It was still very early. But Nick was awake and I knew, before I’d even opened my eyes, that our night was over… that it was time to face our actions.
I let myself stir and stretch lazily against him. I couldn’t quite give this up yet. Just a few more minutes, I promised myself.