I leaned up on my toes and pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. He didn’t hesitate to dip his head and meet my mouth. His tongue swept over my bottom lip and then he deepened the kiss into a frenetic free fall of love and passion and apology.
We clung to each other as tightly as we could, as if the smallest space between us was intolerable. His mouth moved over mine greedily, hungrily… adoringly.
This was just a kiss, but so much more than anything we had ever done. This was more than sex, more than fighting, more than any hurt we could have ever caused each other.
We promised something new to each other, saying our vows all over again. This kiss became the beginning of a new life for us, the foundation for which everything else would be built.
This wasn’t just a kiss. This was forgiveness. This was healing.
This was our future.
When he pulled back, it was to trail sweet kisses along my temple and down my cheek to the line of my jaw. He tasted my tears and I felt cherished.
I felt loved again.
He took my hands and led me to our couch. We sat down, tangled in each other with the words to his song hanging behind us and the home we’d built surrounding us.
“It was all for you,” he murmured.
“The job?”
“That was the start of it,” he agreed. I had my head on his chest, listening to the beautiful cadence of his heart, but I felt him nod. “The night I left I knew I’d lost the best thing in my life. I knew I’d lost everything. The job was first. I knew I couldn’t come back to you without one.” He laughed at himself, running a hand through his hair. “God, I sound like a deadbeat.”
I sat up quickly, facing him, letting him see the truth in my expression. “You’re not one. Nick, I never thought that. No matter what we fought over or how damaged we became, I never thought you were a deadbeat. I wanted to support your dreams. I did for as long as I could, but… but there came a point when I didn’t think you wanted it anymore. It felt like you were just hanging on to it because that was all you could think of. I saw so much potential in you, Nick. It destroyed me to see you give up.”
His hand, filled with callouses from his guitar, cupped my jaw. “I know that now. I didn’t then because I didn’t want to see it. I wanted to blame someone. I wanted to hurt someone. I wanted someone else to feel like I did. I’m sorry that was you. I will never let it happen again.”
Fresh tears filled my eyes. “I believe you.”
He swept the sweetest kiss on my lips and pulled back. We weren’t finished talking. “It wasn’t just the job. I, the, uh, the mediation was because of you too. I couldn’t let you go. Not even after you made it so clear you wanted nothing to do with me. I got the best lawyer I could and I made your life a living hell just to keep you from leaving me. I hired Ryan Templeton to drag out our divorce for as long as he could.”
I felt my stomach pick up out of my body and start spinning uncontrollably. I felt like I was on the steepest rollercoaster. I couldn’t catch my breath. “You didn’t really want the house?”
His voice pitched low, “I wanted the house… with you in it.” One corner of his mouth kicked up in a half-smile. “And I wanted the dog as long as you got her too. I wanted the TV and the kitchen table and the bed upstairs and whatever else I made that asshole lawyer fight with you about because they came attached to you. I couldn’t let you go, Kate. Until the other morning when I thought you would leave me anyway. I didn’t know what else to do besides give you what you wanted. But you should know that if you had gone through with it, I would have still belonged to you. You own me, Kate. You will always own me. You are my wife till death do us part.”
My heart swelled in my chest until I was certain it would burst. Until I knew I would die from happiness.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “Thank you for fighting for me.”
He pulled me against his chest again and I rested there. I gave up everything at that moment and just breathed in my husband.
He was right. He was mine. I was his. He owned me and I owned him.
Till death do us part.
We stayed there the rest of the afternoon and evening. We stayed there, on our couch and talked and talked and talked. We made more apologies. We made more promises. We decided to find a couple’s counselor that could help us through the next part of this journey. And we finally made love.
Right there on the couch.
Afterward, wrapped in the throw blankets from our living room, we ate a meal of cheese and crackers and ice cream. Then we walked hand in hand to our bedroom where we made love all over again.
This time when Nick wrapped me in his arms, I didn’t wake in a panic. I fell blissfully asleep in his arms and didn’t stir until morning.
And when we woke, we kissed without brushing our teeth. We held each other closely and made promises all over again.
It wouldn’t always be like this. Seven years of marriage had taught us that every day would be different, that life would throw us curve balls and we wouldn’t always get along. But our eyes were wide open now. We knew what we wanted. And that was each other.
He would drive me crazy and I would inevitably make him furious.
But he would also make me happier than I had ever been. He would also take care of me, adore me, love me. And I would love him in return. I would support him. And I would respect him.
We had a long way to go toward healing, but we were starting in the right place.
We were starting hand-in-hand and together.
And neither one of us would ever let go.
Chapter Twenty-Five
31. He loves me.
32. He will always love me.
“Are you finished?” Kara’s pretty red head poked in my doorway and she took in the room with lightning fast quickness. “You look finished.”
I stood up from a box I had been taping closed and stretched my back. “I think I am. Nick is going to pick me up and carry all this.”
She grinned at me, “Perks of having a good man.” I laughed and waggled my eyebrows at her. She stepped into the room completely. “This year went by so fast. I can’t believe it’s over.”
I smiled wryly, “I can. I’m ready for summer.” I sighed. “I’m ready to actually start summer.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “Why, Kate? It’s not like you have a job in the fall. What does it matter to you?”
I laughed as my hand landed gently on my slightly swollen belly. “I didn’t take you for the jealous type. I thought you had a purpose here.”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Well, mostly my purpose is to annoy my parents. These hoodlums are a side effect of bad judgment and stubborn rebellion.”
“You’re such a liar. You love the kids here. And you’re only half serious about annoying your parents.”
“I’ll give you the kids. I do love the little monsters. But I’m serious about my parents. My life work is to drive them to their early graves and inherit their estate.”
I just shook my head. There was no arguing with her. “I am coming back,” I told her. “Maybe not right away… but I will be back. I can’t walk away from teaching forever.”
Her gray gaze found mine and glistened with unshed tears. “I know you will. You’re too good at what you do to give it up forever. You’ll just have to turn that endless inspiration on your own little ones now. They get to keep you for a while. As they should.”