Oh shit.
<cut to>
"Excuse me for a minute, guys." I grasp the glass and head for forbidden territory. I gotta get Kels out of there.
<fade out>
Episode Sixteen: We Are Family
As I slowly come into full wakefulness, I wonder how I can smuggle this bed back to Los Angeles. It has to be the most comfortable thing I have ever slept in. Every time I stretch, I find a new comfortable spot and I’m nearly lulled backed to sleep. It’s easy to curl up here and rest. I’ve never felt so safe.
However, the smell of food cooking and all the laughter coming from downstairs compel me to get out of this big, old, wonderful bed. I slip on my robe and tie it off, moving to the door that connects my room to Harper’s. A quick peek through confirms she’s not there. I didn’t figure she would be.
I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the fresh scent of this place. It’s amazing how I don’t miss the smell of smog. I listen carefully to the sounds floating in through the slightly open balcony doors. Ah, there she is. Turning, I walk out onto to the balcony.
I look down into the garden to find my partner dressed in jeans and a baggy sweatshirt rolling around on the ground, covered in little bodies. She must be wrestling and playing with every child in the house. They are all laughing and giggling as they find new ways to attack Tabloid.
I see four men who I know instantly are her bothers sitting nearby. It’s as if Cécile and Jonathan bought a photocopier which produced children. The only difference is the last one came out a girl. They are all tall and broadshouldered – though the oldest two, Gerrard and Jean, I believe, are a bit thicker through the chest than the younger two. But they all share the same dark hair, straight noses, light eyes, and length of bone. I can’t wait to see what their spouses look like.
The brothers are encouraging their children and laughing loudly every time one of their suggestions is used to elicit a new yell from their sister.
"No fair!" Harper shouts as a water gun is brought into the fray and she is doused from the back.
I fold my arms across my chest, hugging this moment to me, and watch them. I still can’t believe this is the Harper Kingsley I work with back in LA. Our eyes meet when she gets rolled over by one of the kids.
She starts pushing kids off of her body. "Okay, guys, she’s up. Ready?"
I watch as she scrambles to her feet, glancing up at me and smiling as she does. She motions all the kids together in a group. They all look up at me and in unison yell, "Good morning, Ms. Kelsey!"
I can’t help but laugh. I feel the blush rise all over my face. She’s certifiable. I manage to catch my breath and give a little wave. "Good morning, everyone."
"You coming down anytime soon, lazy bones?" Harper calls as she picks up one of the smallest children.
"Yeah. I’m going to shower first and then I’ll be right down."
" ‘Kay." She turns in time to find herself ambushed again and the game is back on.
I make my way downstairs, following the sounds of chatter and laughter until I find myself standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Good morning," I offer as I step hesitantly into the room. Lots of unfamiliar faces here, and I don’t want to slip into work mode to deal with these people. I know work mode isn’t very pleasant, for anyone concerned.
"Bonjour, Kelsey. Come on in here and let me introduce you to the rest of the family. Elaine, chér, will you put some water on to boil for tea?" Cécile’s smile and open arms are truly infectious. I am glad to accept another hug from this woman.
"I don’t need tea if you don’t have…" I murmur as I untangle myself from her slowly.
"Oh I have. I have Earl Gray." She laughs gently. "Harper called and made sure I understood that you drank Earl Gray tea every morning."
"She did, huh?"
"Mais, oui, she did."
"Harper did that?" A slim woman asks, looking up from her work, an inscrutable expression on her face.
"Mais, yeah." Mama grabs my hand and walks me around the huge kitchen. "This is Katherine, Gerrard’s wife."
All right, someone can get a real insecurity complex in this family. Katherine looks like a model – long blonde hair, big blue eyes, stunning figure. I know she has to be close to forty years old, but she looks younger than I do. I’d hate her if she wasn’t Harper’s sister-in-law. And hugging me right now.
"Pleasure to meet you, Kelsey. We’re all glad you could join us."
"Thank you," I stammer.
"Mom?" a small voice calls from the doorway. Katherine’s attention goes to the boy standing there.
"What do you need, T-Jean?"
"Can I have something to eat? I’m hungry."
"Sure, sweetie. You go on back out and I’ll bring everyone a snack in a few moments."
"Thanks!"
He turns to run back outside, but Katherine’s voice stops him. "You tell your Tante Harper the next time she gets hungry to come in and ask for herself."
The boy giggles. "Yes, ma’am."
"Some things never change. She used to send in Robie," Cécile mutters. She leads me to the next woman, the one who asked about Harper a moment ago. "This is Rachel, Lucien’s wife."
This is another blonde wife, but different from Katherine in almost every way imaginable. Where Katherine is tall and voluptuous, Rachel is short and has an athlete’s build. Her hair is cut short and she has hazel eyes, which belie a keen intelligence, I suspect.
Rachel holds up her hands, which are covered in flour, and smiles. "Good to have you here. Maybe we’ll get to hear some truth about what it is old Harper does nowadays."
"I think we can swap some stories," I suggest. I would love to have some dirt about a young Harper.
We move along and come to Rene. "Good morning." I am surprised to see that she has Clark in a snuggle-pack against her chest. "How did you wrestle him away from his aunt?"
"Wrestle is the key word. Clark is a little too young yet to be out there with that rowdy bunch. And Robie is just as bad."
"They’re all alike, every last one of them," Katherine sighs.
"I’m Elaine," the last wife introduces herself to me as she hands me a mug of Earl Gray. "Jean’s wife."
Elaine is dark haired and willowy with a toothy smile. I look at her narrow hips and can’t believe this is a woman who has given birth to no less than five children, as Harper has told me. The youngest of her five is an infant boy, a few months older than Clark, sitting in a car seat on the table. He is sound asleep. "Thank you." I prepare my tea on the countertop, drizzling in some honey. "Cécile, is there anything I can do to help?"
"Actually, yes." She gathers up a cutting board, knife and a colander of something I don’t recognize. "Could you peel these up for me? And take out the seed?"
"Of course, I’d be happy to. But … what are those?" The item in question is a prickly-skinned green vegetable, roughly the size and shape of an avocado.
Harper’s mother laughs. "Child, this are merlitons. After you peel them and remove the seed, we’re going to stuff them with shrimp and breadcrumbs. Then we bake them and eat them. And you will love it, so good."
I take the vegetables and begin lending about as much help in the kitchen as I’m capable of. Thank God Erik has taught me the bare basics of cooking for myself. Peeling I can do.
Katherine has finished putting together some snacks for everyone outside. She is about to take a tray out when Rachel stops her. "Hold on, I want to take some tea out to the boys, too."
The two sisters-in-law look at each other and laugh.
I think someone’s in trouble.