Fuckin' hypocrite.
Thinks I'm not good enough for Kelsey.
What if I'm not?
Fortunately, the phone rings sparing me any self-analysis. It can't be Kelsey, it's too soon. If she even calls me at all. Somehow, I think Erik is doing his best to talk her out of whatever it is we are doing.
"Hello?"
"Bonjour, mon coeur."
"Hi, Mama. Ah, shit, I forgot to call you when we landed."
"Qui t'a dit, Harper Lee."
I groan. Gotta watch my language around Mama. Think I'd know that by now. "I'm sorry, Mama."
"What's wrong?"
How is it that mothers always know when their children are stressed? And with my mother there's no good in denying it. If I do, I'll find her on my doorstep in the morning. "When we got home, Erik came back."
"Erik? Who is this Erik?"
I sigh. I hadn't wanted to get into this but, now that the Pandora's box has been opened, I have no choice. I tell her everything I know about Erik and Kelsey's relationship.
"So you think this man he says bad things about you?"
"I'm pretty sure about it."
"And you think Kelsey will believe him?"
Do I? I don't know anymore. I tell Mama that. "Maybe I should call her and tell her it doesn't matter."
"Espèsce de tête dure!"
Great. Now I'm being called hard-headed again. A little compassion here wouldn't hurt, Mama.
"You need to give Kelsey a bit more credit, Harper. She's a grown woman and very capable of making her own choices. Let her choose you. Don't you go and do something so stupid. And don't you dare hurt that lovely girl."
"I think you like her more than you like me," I grouse.
"Mais, non. I love you so much I will not let you hurt yourself by hurting her."
I sigh. "Okay, Mama, okay. You win."
"What will I do with you? I don't win. You win. I only win when you give me a grandbaby."
I bang the receiver against my forehead several times. "Mama!"
"I'm sorry, but it is true, Harper."
"Well, we have a slight problem here. One I hardly need educate you about."
She laughs and I smile for the first time since I left Kelsey's apartment. "I have great faith in your problem-solving capabilities, Harper. Now, I must go so your very beautiful girlfriend can call you."
I don't bother telling Mama that I have call waiting.
When the phone rings for the fourth time, my hopes for a nice dinner are beginning to fade. Maybe she’s gone out with her friends at The Rio. I certainly wouldn’t blame her if she did after the way Erik acted today.
Maybe he’ll reconsider his attitude when he finds the presents I left for him in the pockets of his favorite jacket. It’ll take him forever to get the smell out and it’ll cost him a small fortune to get it cleaned. It was very satisfying.
"Hello?"
Ah, there’s the voice I wanted to hear. "Hey you." I feel like a teenager, not quite knowing what to say.
"So," I hear her pause and wonder if she’s feeling the same way, "what’s up?" she asks, sounding like a teenager. Oh yeah, she’s feeling it too. I smile at the thought. I prefer a level playing field.
"You still up for dinner?" I ask.
"You know it. Where?"
"Actually, I thought maybe I’d stop, pick up something and come over to your place. We could have a nice quiet evening in."
"That sounds nice. Especially after the plane food for lunch. Why don’t you come straight here and then we go out together to get the food? I’d rather you not be running around by yourself."
"Oh yeah, almost forgot about all that." But she didn’t. That has to be a good sign, right? At least, she cares.
Hopefully my little admirer has forgotten about me over the holiday. There wasn't anything new waiting for me at my apartment today.
"So, does that work for you?"
I can hear a noise in the background that sounds like something rapping on wood. "Works for me, Tabloid. What are you doing?" My curiosity gets the better of me.
"I’m stretched out on the couch watching a video. Trouble’s fat ass is on my stomach and his big head keeps blocking my view. Why?"
That’s a fun image, but not what I was wondering about. I do like the mental picture of her sprawled out on the couch waiting for my call. The cat will have to move though when I get there. "What’s that tapping noise?"
"Un, oh that, I um was tapping my knuckles on the coffee table."
What are you nervous about, Harper? "So when should I come over?"
She laughs. "You’re a half hour late as it is."
There’s something about eating Chinese food straight out of the carton that I’ve always found fun. I can’t explain it, but it is. The fact that I’m giving Harper chopstick lessons is fun too.
Truth be told, it’s a good reason to put my arms around her in an effort to help. Like I need a good reason. I’ll take a poor one or none at all, actually. She’s sitting on the floor, between my legs, and I’m leaning down from my spot on the couch. From my vantage point, I can smell the perfume she put on recently. And I like the feel of her skin against mine as I guide her fingers around the wooden sticks.
She leans her head against my knee and groans pathetically. "I’m gonna starve before I get it to my mouth, Little Roo. This is why we invented forks. Was that really such a bad thing?"
"There were chopsticks before there were forks."
"Yeah, but have you ever noticed how skinny the Chinese are?"
Laughing, I reach around and pick a piece of beef out of the carton with my fingers and feed it to her. She takes not only the food but the tips of my fingers too. I groan a little when she runs her tongue over them.
"Now, that beats even a fork." She tilts her head back, smiling up at me. "I could eat Chinese every night if you’d feed it to me like that. Then again," she twists around and kneels between my legs, her eyes now level with mine, "they say you are what you eat. I could be you in the morning."
God, that’s old, but it still so works. "Oh, you are bad." I shove against her shoulders, trying not to laugh.
"That’s not what you said this morning or when we got off the plane. Do I need to remind you I very nearly had to carry you off?"
"I know, I know. You’re so smug."
This feels so good. Just being here. Being with her. I want a kiss, which I lean in and take. When I pull back our eyes meet and I bring my hand to her cheek. She turns her head slightly, placing a kiss on my palm.
"So what are you thinking?" I know I shouldn’t ask, but I need to.
"How do you mean?"
"About us?"
She draws a deep breath, her eyes growing guarded. She joins me on the couch, pulling me into her arms. Resting my head on her shoulder, I wait for her answer.
"Don’t take this the wrong way," she begins.
Oh, that doesn’t sound good. I resist the urge to pull away from her.
"I’m kinda trying not to." she continues, placing a kiss on the top of my head. She must have felt the shiver that ran through my body. Her large hands rub my back gently. "Kels, when I start thinking about these things, I tend to panic. So, this time I’ve decided not to think and just enjoy it."
"Hey, I kinda like that idea." I feel the relief washing over my body. I really like not having to think about this. I’d freak myself, I’m afraid.
"Good. I think that’s what we should do."
"Another Harper Kingsley plan comes together. I like it."
"Of course, you do. You’d be nuts not to. I mean, what’s not to like?"
I hear the smirk before I can turn around to see it. Yup, there it is. She should get that thing trademarked.
"Now, you wanna hear my plan?" I tug at the football jersey she is wearing over a white tank top.
"Oh, absolutely."