Rudy didn’t catch the sarcasm in Elaine’s voice as his heart pounded in his ears. He set the box down carefully on the dresser among the bombers and fighter jets and let Elaine lead the way downstairs.
Shortly after they finished their pie, Catherine excused herself for bed and slowly climbed the stairs, the steps barely whispering with her slight weight. It was only nine o’clock. Elaine turned to Rudy and asked in a whisper, “How long has she been like this?”
“Like what?”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed. She looks so much older.”
“She does?”
“Oh, come on. Surely you see a difference since the last time we saw her.”
“Well, she is getting up there in age.”
“But it’s been less than a year.” Elaine shook her head. “Remember at our wedding reception how she danced until midnight? Now she looks like she needs a walker just to get around.”
Rudy almost lied, almost said, ‘It’s her arthritis acting up.’ But as the truth drew near, was in fact only hours away, he figured lying was a waste of breath. So instead, he just shrugged.
Elaine stared at the remains of her apple pie, the dried crust, the bits of filling coating the edges like baby spit. She pushed it away from her.
“Oh,” she said, putting her hand to her belly. “What a strong little kicker.”
Rudy slid his hand beneath her blouse, feeling the curve of her smooth, taut skin, the protrusion of her belly button. He had to tell her. He had to. He opened his mouth to speak, but found that he couldn’t. The words evaporated from his lips like water spilled on hot asphalt.
Elaine yawned. “I’m tired,” she said. “I guess I’m getting old, too.”
After Elaine fell asleep on the queen-sized bed in the guest room, her snores delicate and benign, Rudy crept to his childhood room. He picked the wooden box up and carried it to the bathroom at the top of the stairs. He turned on the tap water, adjusted the temperature until it felt lukewarm, and let the sink fill. Last year, only a month before they had married, he’d come alone to visit his mother. Although Elaine had wanted to celebrate his birthday with him, she’d been too busy preparing for the wedding. And this year, when he’d said he had to go, Elaine had asked if perhaps they couldn’t wait until after the baby was born.
“Besides, we just saw your mother at Christmas.”
“I know, but it’s important,” was the only excuse Rudy had come up with.
Elaine had finally agreed to go.
And now Rudy opened the box’s lid, his fingers responding to the familiarity of his name carved carefully into the top. He lifted the dried cord from it and placed it carefully in the water. It reacted to its new environment, expanding and uncoiling in the water’s warm comfort. He took a small penknife from his pant’s pocket and jabbed his middle finger. Small droplets of blood welled from the wound and he let them fall into the warm tap water. A few drops were all it needed.
The thing in the sink squirmed and writhed. He took off his shirt. Took a deep breath. Looked at himself in the mirror. Funny, the little surprises life tosses you, he thought.
He picked the thing up from the sink and carried it to his mother’s room. He felt it warm and fleshy in his hands, felt it pulsing urgently against his fingertips. His belly tingled.
He pushed open the door. Catherine sat up in bed, waiting for him. She wore a blue terry-cloth robe. Green towels were spread out beneath her on the mattress and thin white sheets were pulled up to her waist. Fat pillows supported her frail back.
“Where’s Elaine?” she asked.
“She’s sleeping.”
“But Rudy, she has to see. She has to know.”
“I can’t.”
“My God, Rudy, you have to. For the sake of your baby.”
“How do we know this one won’t be different?”
“Has it ever been?” Catherine smiled tenderly. “This is the way it’s always been. It’s the way our lineage works. You know that.”
Rudy stood mutely in the doorway, the snake-like coil squirming in his hands for attention.
“Go get her,” Catherine said. “Bring her up here. We’ll make it as easy for her as we possibly can.”
Rudy refilled the bathroom sink and set the fleshy cord in the fresh warm water where it slowly writhed and coiled in upon itself. Rudy stared at it a moment. When he reached down and stroked it, it responded eagerly to his touch. His belly button itched. He scratched at it lightly with his other hand. It was time to wake Elaine. Things would be different for her from now on.
Downstairs in the guest room, he gently shook her awake.
“What is it?”
Rudy tried to keep his voice from quaking. “Get up, dear.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. There’s something I have to show you.”
Elaine’s voice was groggy, and her eyes squinted at Rudy in the dim light. “Can’t it wait until morning?”
“No,” Rudy said, tugging at her arm, the itch in his belly growing. “You have to get up now.”
He led her upstairs to Catherine’s room, where a blue nightlight illuminated the walls with a soft, gentle glow.
Catherine smiled weakly. “Elaine. I think you better sit down.”
Elaine shook her head. “What’s going on?”
“Please. Sit.”
Elaine backed up to a small love seat perched in the corner and slowly sat down.
Rudy touched her shoulder. “Trust us — this is going to seem weird, but you’ll appreciate it in time. You’ll come to realize how special and amazing it is.”
Elaine reached out for his hand. Now her voice shook. “Can’t you tell me what’s going on?”
“It’s best to show you,” Catherine said. “Don’t be afraid, dear.”
Rudy tugged his hand out from Elaine’s grip and went back to the bathroom, where he lifted the dripping cord from the sink. The itch in his belly instantly grew, a burning sensation spreading slowly out from his navel as he walked quickly back to his mother’s room.
When Catherine saw the thing he held, she smiled and held her hand out for it. “I know it’s not going to be easy for you to watch,” she said to Elaine. “But it’s the most beautiful thing. It’s pure love.”
The burning in his belly was intense. Rudy grabbed his pocketknife from the top of the dresser and, without any inhibition, jabbed it into his navel. Before too much blood spilled, he placed one end of the cord against the wound. It attached itself eagerly with a squishy, suction sound.
As he handed the other end to his mother, he grew light-headed.
Elaine screamed.
But it was too late to allay her fears, too late to hold her hand and convince her of the beauty she was about to witness.
Catherine spread her knees slightly apart and let go of her end of the cord. It burrowed between her legs. Her eyes fluttered.
Rudy crawled into the bed with her. Felt the old familiar feeling of the umbilical cord tug at his belly. He relaxed. It was best not to resist.
It didn’t hurt as much that way.
He no longer heard Elaine’s screams as he re-entered his mother’s waiting womb.
It was amazing the peace inside. Amazing the warmth and love he felt despite the contortions his body made, despite the incredible stretching Catherine’s body endured to accommodate him in her belly. But like every year on the anniversary of his birth, he was able to curl into a fetal position. He felt himself flowing back into his mother through the ancient umbilical cord, nourishing her, giving her back the much-needed vitality she had lost since the last time he was inside of her. Part of him knew Elaine was having a hard time of this out in the cold, harsh world, but this was a reality she had to accept if she wanted to live much longer after she gave birth to their new child.