“You said I was wrong about something. Wrong about when you fell in love with me.” I nodded and waited as she put her thoughts together. “Well, I was wrong about something else, too.” A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye, and when I lifted my hand to wipe it away, she didn’t flinch away from me.
“What else were you wrong about?”
“When you walked away from me a couple of months ago, that love I had for you did change—like I thought it would.” Another tear fell, followed by another, so I just kept my hand pressed against her cheek to catch them.
“It changed to hate. I walked away, and your love changed to hate.” Saying those words was a thousand times more painful than thinking them.
“No.” She shook her head, her eyes dropping. “It changed when it grew. I realized that even though you were gone, there was no one else I wanted to love. I had no love that didn’t belong to you left to give.”
Oh my god. Was she saying what it sounded like she was saying? I wasn’t sure, so I needed to ask. I needed to know, and hopefully my question didn’t sound as lame as the one I’d asked myself. “Joze, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” So much for not sounding as lame. “Are you saying you still love me?”
Her head bobbed. “So much I’ve been sick with it these past two months.”
She still loved me. Josie Gibson still loved me, and I was finally ready to accept that love. I’d waited for that moment for so long, I didn’t know what the hell to say. Or do? What did I say to that . . .? “I love you, Joze. I love you so fucking much. Yeah, I realize saying fuck while confessing one’s love probably isn’t romantic—”
My confession was cut short when her mouth crashed into mine. Her arms wound around my neck while I drew her close and kissed her back. That whole time I’d been anticipating a slap when I should have been expecting a kiss. The story of my life. Josie kissed me so forcefully, she managed to back me up into that old maple, and then she kissed me for so long, I’m sure the sun was thinking about rising before her lips left mine.
She was smiling with that fire still burning in her eyes. “I came here with Colt you know.” Her smile went higher on one side.
“Yeah, yeah, too bad for him because you’re here with me now, and I’m not letting go.” Drawing her back to me, I lowered my mouth just outside of her ear. “Finders keepers.”
I felt her smile on the side of my neck. She was still smiling when that sun did finally rise. It was the start of a new life for me. A new life for us. I had everything I needed right in front of me.
I didn’t need eight seconds of glory when I had a lifetime of it in my arms.
I WAS BACK on the bull again. Not in the way the saying goes, but on an actual bull that could have been Bluebell’s uglier and meaner older brother. Rodeo season had been in full swing for a while, but it was my first ride since Josie and I finally figured out our shit. Well, since I’d finally figured out mine. The past two months had been the best months of my life. They’d been so great—I’m talking delirious, insane kind of happy—I’d come close to convincing myself I was living a different life. Josie said I’d just stopped fighting life at every turn and opened myself up to living it instead. She was probably right—she usually was.
Really, it didn’t matter. Whether Josie’s theory or mine was the right one, it didn’t take away from the fact that the girl I’d spent a lifetime loving from afar, I’d get to love up close for the rest of my life. I got to touch and kiss and hold her as much as I wanted to . . . and I wanted to all the time. Luckily, she didn’t mind.
So maybe I was back on the bull again in the way the saying goes, too. I don’t know if I’d ever been on the bull in the first place when it came to life, but again, it didn’t matter. I was there now. I was learning how to let the good things in and let the bad things pass through me, one day at a time, one lesson after another. It was a slow process and one hell of a grueling journey, but I got to experience it with Josie at my side, so fuck the rest. I was a lucky man.
Mr. and Mrs. Gibson were slowly warming up to me. Slowly being the operative word. I didn’t blame them. I understood why they were practically holding their breaths for me to screw up big time. The thing they didn’t know, or what they’d never be able to fully understand, was how I felt about her. I loved her, sure, but it went so far beyond that I didn’t know a way to describe it. Joze was my everything. My . . . everything. No exaggeration. My whole day, my every thought, my every decision was somehow centered around her. She was more essential than the air I breathed because air wasn’t essential to me: she was. I’d rather die from suffocation knowing my priorities were right than live a long life letting some stupid invisible compound be more essential to my life than she was. Because that was a fucking lie.
The bull shuddered, reminding me where I was and what I was about to do. The guy manning the gate was watching me, waiting. Before I gave the nod, I scanned the grandstands. I didn’t need to scan them for long. A green-eyed girl wearing red boots and a killer smile stood on the other side of the arena, her chin propped on one of the rails. She was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, just as she had been the first time I saw her. She winked before mouthing three words I could make out from all the way across the arena.
No, not those three words. I was on the back of a bull in front of thousands of people—not exactly the ideal time for mushiness and endearing words. Nope, she mouthed Kick some ass. I acknowledged her with a grin before three more words slipped out of her mouth.
Yes, those three words. The ones that had changed my life. The ones that made me want to change my life in the first place. The words I’d felt for her for so long, they’d become one of the few constants in my life. The ones I’d felt for her but had only recently learned how to show her those words. Sure, I might have been on a monster bull, about to compete in one of the biggest rodeos in Montana, but really, was there ever a bad time to hear that the person you loved loved you right back?
Nope, there never was. Never. “I LOVE YOU, JOSIE GIBSON!” I didn’t mouth the words—I straight-up hollered them. I didn’t care if the whole world knew it, let alone a few thousand Montanans. Flashing her a wink, I tipped my hat at Josie before giving the nod. I was ready.
I burst out of the chute on that bull with a smile on my face. I wasn’t worried about staying on for a full eight. I already knew I would. When that buzzer finally sounded a handful of moments later, I smiled even wider. I’d finally figured it out.
I knew exactly what was below me—a place I didn’t want to revisit. That was how I would stay on top for the rest of my life.
Thank you for reading FINDERS KEEPERS by NEW YORK TIMES and USATODAY Bestselling Author, Nicole Williams.
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You can connect with her on Facebook: Nicole Williams (Official Author Page)
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Blog: nicoleawilliams.blogspot.com
Other Works by Nicole:
CRASH, CLASH, and CRUSH (HarperCollins)
LOST & FOUND, NEAR & FAR
UP IN FLAMES (Simon & Schuster UK)
GREAT EXPLOITATIONS SAGA
THE EDEN TRILOGY
THE PATRICK CHRONICLES