Chapter Twelve
The night before he went to Washington was a nightmare for Peter. He still couldn't believe what he had agreed to do for them. But Kate had been obviously grateful to him ever since he'd agreed, and her father had actually improved by leaps and bounds, and he was overflowing with warmth and praise for Peter. And Peter felt as though he had been catapulted onto another planet where nothing was real, his heart had turned to stone, and his brain was weightless. He could barely fathom what he was doing.
Intellectually, he could still rationalize it to himself, just the way Frank had. Vicotec was almost there, and if there were further wrinkles in it, they would pull it before it ever hit the market. But morally and legally, what they were doing was wrong, and they all knew that. And yet, Peter knew he had no choice now. He had promised Kate and her father he would do it. The only question for him was how he would live with himself after that, or was it simply a matter of chipping away at his ethics gradually? Once he did this, would other slippage occur, other violations of principles he had previously adhered to? It was an interesting philosophical issue, and if he hadn't felt as though his life were at stake, he would have been deeply interested in it. As it was, he couldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. He had lost seven pounds in a matter of days, and he looked dreadful. His secretary asked him if he was ill the day before he was to leave for Washington, and he merely shook his head, and just said he was busy. With Frank gone, and planning to stay at home for another month, there was even more than usual on his shoulders. And he was appearing before Congress on the pricing issues, on the same day as the FDA hearings, in the morning.
He had stayed at his desk late that afternoon, looking at the latest research. It looked good actually, except for one little blip that coordinated perfectly with some of the things Suchard had said in June, but Peter was entirely sure what the latest blip meant. According to the researchers, it dealt with a relatively minor issue, and Peter didn't even bother to call Frank about it. He knew what his take on it would be anyway. “Don't worry about it. Go to the hearings, and we'll work it all out later.” But Peter took the reports home with him anyway, and read them all again that night, and he was still troubled by them at two o'clock in the morning. Katie was asleep in the bed next to him. She wasn't staying at her father's anymore, and she was actually coming to Washington with him and had bought a new suit for it. She and her father were so pleased that he'd capitulated that they'd both been in high spirits ever since he'd agreed to go to Washington for them. It still felt like a mission from hell to him, and Katie had chided him for overreacting. She tried to pretend he was just nervous about appearing before Congress.
But as he sat in his study in Greenwich at four A.M., he was still thinking about the latest reports, and staring out the window. He wished there were someone knowledgeable he could talk to. He didn't know the men on the German and Swiss research teams personally, and he didn't have a good rapport with the new man in Paris. Frank had obviously hired him because he was malleable and a yes-man, but he was also difficult to understand, and so scientific in his approach to everything that it was like listening to Japanese to Peter. And then he thought of something, and flipped through the Rolodex on his desk. He wondered if he had the number at home and then he found it. It was ten o'clock in the morning in Paris, and with any luck at all he'd be there. He asked for him by name as soon as the switchboard answered. The phone beeped twice, with the sound of a friendly robot, and then the familiar voice was on the phone.
“Allo?” It was Paul-Louis. Peter had called him at the new company he worked for.
“Hi, Paul-Louis,” Peter said, sounding tired. It was four A.M. for him, and it had been an endless night. He wondered if Paul-Louis would be able to help him make a decision he could be comfortable with at least. It was the only reason he'd called him. “This is Benedict Arnold.”
“Qui? Allô? Who is this?” he asked, confused, and Peter smiled as he answered.
“He was a traitor who was shot a long time ago. Salut, Paul-Louis,” he said then in French, “it's Peter Haskell.”
“Ah …d'accord.” He understood instantly. “You're going to do it then? They forced you?” He knew the moment he heard him. Peter sounded ghastly.
“I wish I could say they forced me,” he said gallantly, although they had, but he was too gentlemanly to say that. “I volunteered, more or less, for a variety of reasons, Frank had a near-fatal heart attack nearly three weeks ago. Things haven't been quite the same since then.”
“I see,” he said solemnly. “What can I do for you?” He was working for a rival company, but he had a real fondness for Peter. “Is there something you want from me?” he asked bluntly.
“Absolution, I think, although I don't deserve it. I just got some new reports in, and I think they're fairly clean, if I understand them correctly. We substituted two of the materials and everyone seems to think that solved the problem. But there's one odd series of results that I'm not sure I understand, and I thought maybe you could shed some light on it for me. There's no one I can talk to candidly here. What I want to know is if we're going to kill anyone with Vicotec. It boils down to that basically. I want to know if you still think it's dangerous, or if we're well on our way now. Do you have time for me to go over this?” He didn't, but he was willing to make time for Peter. He told his secretary to hold all his calls, and was back on the line in an instant.
“Fax it to me now.” Peter did, and there was a long silence, while Paul-Louis read the memo. For the next hour they went backward and forward over the research, while Peter answered as many questions as he could, and then finally there was yet another long silence, and Peter sensed that Paul-Louis had made his mind up. “It's very subjective, you understand. At this stage, there is not necessarily a clear-cut interpretation. It is a good thing, of course. It is a wonderful product which will change our ability to cope with cancer. But there are additional elements that must be evaluated. It is that evaluation which is so difficult to give you. Nothing is sure in life. Nothing is without risk, or cost. The question is if you are willing to pay it.” He sounded very French in his philosophy, but Peter understood him.
“The question for us is how great the risk is.” “I understand that.” He understood it perfectly. It was what had worried him in June while Peter had been in Paris. “And the new research is good, unquestionably. They're on the right track now …” His voice trailed off as he frowned and lit a cigarette. All the scientists Peter had met in Europe were smokers.
“But are we there yet?” Peter asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hear the answer.
“No …not yet …” Suchard said sadly. “Perhaps soon, if they continue to work in this direction. But you are not there yet. In my opinion Vicotec is still potentially dangerous, particularly in unskilled hands,” which were precisely the hands it was meant for. It was being made for laymen to use, at home if necessary. It meant staying at home for chemotherapy, and not going to hospitals, or even doctors.
“Is it still a killer, Paul-Louis?” That was what he had called it in June. Peter could still hear him.
“I think so.” The voice on the other end sounded apologetic but clear. “You're not there yet, Peter. Give it time. You will be.”
“And the hearings?'
“When are they?”
Peter looked at his watch. It was five o'clock in the morning. “In nine hours. At two o'clock this afternoon. I'm leaving the house in two hours.” He was taking an eight o'clock plane, and planned to appear before Congress at eleven.