Being new to the business, I half-expected to see 'em back shortly, in bloody rout—but beyond our view they were storming the defences again, and going through Ferozeshah like an iron fist, and by noon there wasn't a live Punjabi in the position, and we'd taken seventy guns. Don't ask me how—they say some of the Khalsa infantry cut stick in the night, and the rest were all at sea because Lal Singh and his cronies had fled, with the Akalis howling for his blood—but that don't explain it, not to me. They still weren't outnumbered, and had the defensive advantage, and fought their guns to the finish—so how did we beat 'em? I don't know, I wasn't there—but then, I still don't understand the Alma and Balaclava and Cawnpore, and I was in the thick of them, God help me, and no fault of mine.
I ain't one of your by jingoes, and I won't swear that the British soldier is braver than any other—or even, as Charley Gordon said, that he's brave for a little while longer. But I will swear that there's no soldier on earth who believes so strongly in the courage of the men along-side him—and that's worth an extra division any day. Provided you're not standing alongside me, that is.
All morning the wounded kept coming back, but fewer by far than yesterday, and now they were jubilant. Twice they'd beaten the Khalsa against the odds, and there wouldn't be a third Ferozeshah, not with Lal's forces in flight for the Sutlej, and our cavalry scouting their retreat. Tik hai, Johnnie!" roars a sergeant of the 29th, limping down with a naik of Native Infantry; they had two sound legs between them, and used their muskets as crutches. "'Oo's got a tot o' rum for my Johnnie, then? 'E may 'ave fired wide at Moodkee, but you earned yer chapattis today, didn't yer, ye little black bugger!" And everyone roared and cheered and helped them along, the tow-headed, red-faced ruffian and the sleek brown Bengali, both of them grinning with the same wild light in their eyes. That's victory—it was in all their eyes, even those of a pale young cornet of the 3rd Lights with his arm off at the elbow, raving as they carried him past at the run, and of a private with a tulwar gash in his cheek, spitting blood at every word as he told me how Gough was entrenched in the Sikhs' position in case of counter-attack, but there was no fear of that.
"We done for 'em, sir!" cries he, and his yellow facings were as red as his coat with his own gore. "They won't stop runnin' till they gets to La'ore, I reckon! You should 'ear 'em cheer ole Daddy Gough—ain't 'e the boy, though?" He peered at me, holding a grimy cloth to his wound. 'Ere, you orl right, sir? Fair done in you looks, if you'll 'scuse my sayin' so …"
It was true—I, who hadn't been near the fight, and had been right as rain, was all at once ready to keel over where I sat. And it wasn't the heat, or the excitement, or the sight of his teeth showing through his cheek (other folks' blood don't bother me), or the screaming from the hospital basha, or the stench of stale blood and acrid smoke from the battle, or the dull ache in my ankle—none of that. I believe it was the knowledge that at last it was all over, and I could give way to the numbing fatigue that had been growing through one of the worst weeks of my life. I'd had one night's sleep out of eight, counting from the first which I'd spend galloping Mangla; then there'd been my Khalsa frolic, the Sutlej crossing, the ride from Lal and Tej to Ferozepore, the vigil as we listened to distant Moodkee, uneasy slumber after Broadfoot had given me his bad news, the freezing march to Misreewallah, and finally, the first night of Ferozeshah. Oh, I was luckier than many, but I was beat all to nothing—and now it was past, and I was safe, and could lurch from my stool and fall face-down on the charpoy, dead to the world.
Now, when I'm dog-tired with shock, I have nightmares worthy of cheese and lobster, but this one laid it over them all, for I fell slowly through the charpoy, into a bath of warm water, and when I rolled over I was staring up at a ceiling painting of Gough and Hardinge and Broadfoot, all figged out like Persian princes, having dinner with Mrs Madison, who tilted her glass and poured oil all over me, which made me so slippery that I couldn't hope to transfer the whole Soochet legacy, coin by coin, from my navel to Queen Ranavalona's as she pinned me down on a red-hot billiard-table. Then she began to pummel and shake me, and I knew she was trying to make me get up because Gough wanted me, and when I said I couldn't, because of my ankle, the late lamented Dr Arnold, wearing a great tartan puggaree, came by on an elephant, crying that he would take me, for the Chief needed a Greek translation of Crotchet Castle instanter, and if I didn't take it to Tej Singh, Elspeth would commit suttee. Then I was following him, floating across a great dusty plain, and the smell of burning was everywhere, and filthy ash was falling like snow, and there were terrible bearded faces of dead men, smeared with blood, and corpses all about us, with ghastly wounds from which their entrails spilled out on earth that was sodden crimson, and there were great cannon lying on their sides or tumbled into pits, and everywhere the char-red wreckage of tents and carts and huts, some of them still in flames.
There was a mighty tumult, too, a great cannonading, and the shriek and crash of shot striking home, the rattle of musketry, and bugles blowing. There were voices yelling on all sides, in a great confusion of orders: "By sections, right—walk-march, trot!" and "Battalion, halt! Into line—left turn!" and "Troop Seven—left incline, forward!" But Arnold wouldn't stop, though I shouted to him, and I couldn't see where the troops were, for the horse I was riding was going too fast, and the sun was in my eyes. I raised my left hand to shield them, but the sun's rays burned more fiercely than ever, causing me such pain that I cried out, for it was burning a hole in my palm, and I clutched at Arnold with my other hand—and suddenly he was Mad Charley West, gripping me round the shoulders and yelling to me to hold on, and my left hand was pumping blood from a ragged hole near the thumb, causing excruciating agony, and all hell was loose around me.
That was the moment when I realised that I wasn't dreaming.
An eminent medico has since explained that exhaustion and strain induced a trance-like state when I sank down on the charpoy, and that while my nightmares turned to reality, I didn't come to properly until I was wounded in the hand—which is the most immediately painful place in the whole body, and I should know, since I've been hit in most others. In between, Mad Charley had wakened me, helped me to mount (bad ankle and all), and we'd ridden at speed through the carnage of the recent battle to Gough's position beyond Ferozeshah village—and all I'd taken in were those disjointed pictures I've just described. The sawbones had an impressive medical name for it, but I doubt if there's one for the sensation I felt as I gripped my wounded hand to crush the pain away, and took in the scene about me.
Directly before me were two troops of Native horse artillery, firing as fast as they could load, the little brown gunners springing aside to avoid the recoil, the crash of the salvoes staggering my horse by its very violence. To my left was a ragged square of British infantry—the 9th, for I saw the penny badge on their shakos—and beyond them others, sepoy and British, kneeling and standing, with the reserve ranks behind. To my right it was the same, more squares, inclined back at a slight angle, with their colours in the centre, like the pictures of Waterloo.