"You have done this before, Flat Finn! You can do this!" she pleaded.
Julie watched the scene before her and wondered what the hell she'd gotten herself into by stepping foot in this house. Celeste was looking rather frazzled, and it was hard to watch this kid in such a state, so Julie stood up and took Flat Finn by the shoulders. If everyone else was going to normalize this, she might as well hop on the bandwagon.
"You know what? Guys always like to lie down and just sprawl out. They're lazy like that. I wonder if that's what he wants." Julie noticed Matt poised nervously at the far side of the room, clearly considering whether or not to intervene. He took a step forward. Julie shot him a look and he stepped back. "Besides," she continued to Celeste, "Flat Finn can't see the computer from up there. He should be on the couch with us."
Celeste looked at Julie for a moment, and then her face brightened. "I think he would like that very much."
Julie lifted Flat Finn from the nubby, unsuitable carpeting, swung him sideways into the air, and lay him on his side on the couch.
"Be careful," Celeste urged from her crouched position on the rug.
"He's fine. And there's still room for us." Julie took her seat again, leaving enough room behind her so that Flat Finn did not risk getting any flatter. "Just don't lean back, or we'll be in trouble. Come sit down and tell me which pictures he wants to see."
Celeste rounded the table and sat down gingerly. She leaned her head over Julie's lap, peeking at Flat Finn's face jutting out from behind Julie's back. "He definitely wants to see the red dress ones first. He could hear me talking about them and suspects that you look hot and sultry. Again, his words, not mine."
Julie laughed. "Well, I suspect Flat Finn is a pervert, and he's going to be disappointed, but he can see the pictures anyway." Julie opened the photo and waited for an assessment. She did look cute that day, she had to admit. While the dress was a little low-cut and fell a few inches above the knee, it was also soft and flowing. She liked how the straps crisscrossed over her back and tied in a bow.
Celeste paused for a moment. "He is not disappointed. He thinks that you are beautiful, and that you should Facebook Finn." She paused again. "He doesn't mean that to sound as dirty as it does."
Julie swallowed. "Flat Finn is on Facebook?" She'd love to see those status updates. Got strapped to the roof of the car today for a trip to Starbucks. Would have loved to taste caramel mocha, but can't move arms and so was forced to stare longingly at delicious hot beverage. Will the taunting never end?Celeste sighed, clearly exasperated at Julie's stupidity. "Not Flat Finn. Finn. Go find him on Facebook. You are on Facebook, aren't you? Matty and Finn are, and Matty lets me sneak on with him so I can see Finn's page. Shhhh," she said, holding a finger to her lips. "Mom and Dad would not approve whatsoever. They hate any sort of social networking site and consider it indicative of lower intelligence."
"I suppose he's on Twitter, too?"
"Absolutely not. Are you?"
Julie shook her head. "I have a strong aversion to Twitter, and yet there is a social obligation that forces me to pop in and spy on celebrities now and then. I don't get Twitter. It's impossible to follow conversation threads, and it's too easy to spend hours and hours clicking on random names, and the next thing you know, you've become infatuated with Tweet photos from the Kardashians."
Celeste stared at her. "So are you or are you not on Facebook?"
Man, this kid was a piece of work. "Yup, I am on Facebook. And if you don't tell your parents that, then I won't tell them about you and Matthew. And I would be honored to be Finn's friend." Julie logged into the site. "Finneas or Finn?" she asked Celeste.
"Always Finn. He hates Finneas. But he made his account under Finn Is God."
Julie laughed. "Why did he do that?"
"Because he has no interest in having undesirables from high school finding him. He gets to hide out a little more this way. Be selective. That's important to him. Being selective with your friends."
Julie tapped the keyboard, found the real Finn, and sent a friend request. With only thirty-two friends compared to Julie's four-hundred-and-something, he was indeed selective. She saw Matthew's name on Finn's friend list and added him, too. Julie's philosophy was that you could never have too many friends. Virtual ones, at least. She had a few real ones she could do without.
"Update your status! Update your status!" Celeste demanded. "Something funny."
Julie thought for a moment. "How's this?"Julie Seagle Never moon a werewolf.
Celeste leaned her head against Julie's shoulder. "I like it. It's practical and witty. Flat Finn likes it, too. Do one for him."
This was new. Julie had never had to come up with a status update directed to someone's flat brother.Julie Seagle is unable to find any financially Finnish finches for Flat Finn, but will finagle finger-painting fingerling finery as a final finale. She finks.
"You have made substantial use of alliteration." Celeste started at the computer screen. "Flat Finn is finking about it," she said, glaring at Julie. "I, however, am not fond of this update."
Julie typed again.Julie Seagle You can never be too rich or too Finn.
Celeste patted Julie's arm. "Better."
**********
Julie cracked the ice cube tray and dropped a few cubes into her water glass. "You want some?"
Matt nodded. "Thanks."