She grasped the handles again and the globe sprang into existence, wide, delicate and ominous. She gathered her scattered courage. “Hork, we can’t let our world be destroyed.”
He moved closer to her. His eyecups were wide and empty, his breathing shallow. He seemed huge. His hands were held away from his body. She closed her fingers tighter around the chair handles, watching, half-expecting him to lunge at her.
“Dura, get out of the chair. For a thousand years our Star has crossed space. We have a duty to fulfill, a destiny.”
She shook her head. “You’ve lost yourself in this, Hork. In the glamor of it all… It’s not our battle.”
He frowned at her, his bearded face a ferocious mask. “If it wasn’t for the battle we wouldn’t even exist. Generations of humans have lived, died and suffered for this moment. This is the purpose of our race, its apotheosis! I see this now… How can a person like you take the fate of a world in your hands?”
“But I can’t — accept — this. I’ve got to try something. We must try to save ourselves.”
Doubt — a kind of longing — spread across Hork’s broad face. “Then consider this. Suppose we’re right. Suppose our world really is a missile aimed at the Xeelee. Then — if it really is possible to aim the Star with this device — why is the device here?”
She was frightened of him — not just physically, but of this new, unexpected side of his character, this self-immolating fanaticism.
“Think,” he demanded. “If you were the designer, the Ur-human who planned this fantastic mission, what would you intend the occupant of that seat to do, now, at the climax of the project?”
She hesitated, thinking. “It’s meant to be used to refine the trajectory. To direct the Star even more precisely at its goal.”
He threw his arms wide. “Exactly. Perhaps there are devices lying dormant here, messages instructing us — or whoever was planned to be here — how to do just that. And what if we don’t, Dura? What if we don’t complete our mission? Perhaps the Ur-humans themselves will intervene, to punish our arrogance.”
Her palms were slick with sweat; his words were like the articulation of the conflict inside her. Who was she to decide the fate of a world, of generations?
She thought back over her life, the extraordinary, unfolding sequence of events that had led her to this point. Once, not a very large fraction of her life ago, she had been adrift in the Mantle, at the mercy of the smallest stray Glitch along with the rest of the Human Beings. Stage by stage, as events had taken her so far from her home, her understanding of the Mantle, the Star, and the role of mankind had opened out, like the layers of perception opened up gradually by the seeing-walls of this Ur-human construct.
And now she was here, with more power over events than any human since the days of the Core Wars. She was dizzy, vertiginous, a feeling she remembered from her first trips to the fringes of the Crust-forest, as a little girl with her father.
Her awareness seemed to implode. She became aware of her body — of the wide, dilated pores over her skin, the tension in her muscles, the knife still tucked into the frayed rope tight around her waist. She looked into Hork’s wide, staring eyes. She saw recklessness there, exhilaration, intoxication, the fringes of insanity. Hork, overwhelmed by the journey, the realm of Ur-humans, Colonists and stars, had forgotten who he was. She hadn’t. She knew who she was: Dura, Human Being, daughter of Logue — no more, and no less. And she was no more, no less qualified to speak for the peoples of the Star, at this moment, than anyone else. And that was why it was she who would have to act, now.
Her uncertainty congealed into determination. “Hork, I don’t care about the goals of these damn monster-men from the past. All I care about are my people — Farr, my family, the rest of the Human Beings. I won’t sacrifice them for some ancient conflict; not while I have some hope of changing things.”
The wide, distorted mouth of Karen Macrae was opening again; as she spoke, Dura saw, distracted by the detail, that Karen’s lips were not quite synchronized with her rustling words.
Time is long, inside our virtual world. But still, it is coming to an end. The Glitches have damaged us. Some have already lost coherence.
Stop the flight. We discover we do not want to die.
Dura closed her eyes and shuddered. The Colonists could no longer act. And so they had brought Star-humans — they had brought her — to this place, to save their world.
When she looked at Hork he was grinning, throwing his head back like some animal. “Very well, upfluxer. It seems I am outvoted, and not for the first time — although it doesn’t usually stop me. We are humans too, whatever our origins, and we must act, rather than die meekly as pawns in somebody else’s war!” He shouted, “Do it!”
She cried out; she felt remote, numb. She hauled on the levers as hard as she could.
Crimson fire erupted from the base of the map-Star.
27
Blue Xeelee light illuminated the Air. Fragments of shattered vortex lines hailed around Adda. He Waved furiously, squirming in the Air to avoid the deadly sleet, disregarding the pain in his back and legs. But even Waving wasn’t reliable; the strength and direction of the Magfield was changing almost whimsically, and he had to be constantly aware of its newest orientation, of which way his Waving would take him among the lethal vortex fragments.
He came to a clearer patch of Air. He twisted, his hips and lower back protesting, and Waved to a halt. He looked back toward the City, now about a thousand mansheights away. The great wooden carcass was tilting noticeably, leaning across a Magfield which no longer cradled it. Its Skin was still a hive of activity, of kicked-out panels and scrambled evacuations; Adda was reminded of corruption, of swarms of insects picking over a dying face.
There was no sign of Farr.
Adda looked back to the upper Downside, to the location of the Hospital. He could see motion inside that widened gash in the Skin, but he couldn’t make out Farr himself. Damn, damn… He shouldn’t have let go of the boy; he should have dragged him physically away from the City, from the damn Hospital, until either his strength ran out or the City fell apart anyway.
I’m an old man, damn it. He’d had enough; he’d seen enough. Now all he wanted was rest.
Well, it looked as if he still had work to do. Shaking his head, he dipped his body in the Air and Waved back toward the groaning City.
In the Hospital of the Common Good, patients continued to be brought to the exit. Another dull explosion sounded somewhere in the guts of the City, but — to Adda’s disbelief — the laboring volunteers scarcely looked up. He wanted to scream at them, to slap faces, to force these brave, foolish people to accept the reality of what was happening around them.
There were no cars returning to the port now. But nevertheless a volunteer hauled a helpless bundle — age and sex unidentifiable — to the breached Skin. The volunteer climbed out after the patient, gripped the bandaging with both hands, and, Waving backward, began to drag the patient away from the collapsing City. The volunteer was a young man, nude, his skin painted with elaborate, curling designs. This was evidently one of the acrobats who should have been taking part in the great Games spectacle today; instead here he was, his body-paint smeared and stained with pus, dragging a half-dead patient out from a dying City. Adda stared at the boy’s face, trying to make out how the acrobat must feel at this implosion of his life, his hopes; but he read only fatigue, a dull incomprehension, determination.