Big as she was, she never made the least objection to my taking her across my knees, and she did not appear to mind the punishment much.
Moreover, with the quick instinct of a woman she had, of late, seemed to divine that I liked spanking her; and I really think that she now and then behaved wilfully, merely that I might have a reason for whipping her. But it never seemed to strike her, that a young man between seventeen and eighteen years of age would never have allowed me to spank him like a child. She was not very consistent in her impersonation of a young gentleman.
I do not know whether she had ever spanked any more little boys, but I dare say she had; for when the desire to inflict corporal punishment is once raised in a person, male, or female, the passion generally remains. And she certainly was possessed of the desire at the time she had spanked little Tom.
She had quite lost her rather imperious way of dealing with the servants, and they had all become devoted to her; especially my own man Wilson, who somewhat neglected me, while he looked carefully after everything belonging to “our young gentleman,” as he called “Frank” when speaking to her. I sometimes felt rather disturbed at the thought of the scandal that would arise if the girl’s secret was discovered; and it might be discovered at any moment. How the ladies, young and old, in the neighbourhood would talk about me, and lift up their hands in horror at the idea of my having kept for three years at Oakhurst, a young girl dressed up in boy’s clothes. I do not much care what people say about me; but for the sake of a quiet life, I did not want my neighbours to find out anything about “Frank.” Of course, I should eventually have to send her away from Oakhurst, but I intended always to take care of her. In the meantime, she amused me, and I was looking forward to the moment, when, all disguise thrown off, I should clasp her in my arms and embrace her as a woman should be embraced by a man.
There is a proverb which says “everything comes to him who waits.”
I had waited a long time, but I did not think I should have to wait much longer. The girl was certainly fond of me, her temperament was warm, she liked to touch me, and when she was sitting on a stool beside me, she often glanced up in my face with a yearning look in her pretty blue eyes.
All these little signs were significant, and I was almost certain that she `would have let me do anything I liked to her. But, before I touched her, I wanted her to tell me, of her own accord, that she was a woman.
Although she had as yet never hinted at her true sex, she, with a curious perversity, always seemed to be annoyed when I talked to her as man to man; and one night, out of mischief, I teased her so much, that she was on the point of declaring herself.
We were sitting in the drawing-room after dinner, and I said: “Frank, you are now a young man, and you should be thinking of taking up some profession. I will do all that is necessary in regard to money. What would you like to be? You are too old for the army; but there is the law, the church, and the medical profession. Which of the three will you study for?”
“Oh,” she exclaimed, turning quite pale, “I don’t know I have never thought about anything of the sort. I have been so happy here with you.”
“What! in spite of all the spankings?” I said, with a laugh.
She smiled faintly. “Yes, in spite of the spankings I don’t mind them much; and you never give me one unless I deserve it.”
I again laughed, saying: “No, I don’t think I do And I am very pleased to have you with me We get on together very well.”
“Then let me stay with you,” she put in, quickly.
“But I may get married some day, and then all our old habits would have to be changed, and you might feel discontented. That is why I think you had better adopt some profession, so as to become to a certain extent independent”
The idea of my marrying seemed to move the girl deeply; she coloured up, her lips trembled, and she looked at me with a most pathetic expression in her eyes. “Oh, dear me!” she said in a broken voice. “I never thought of that. Oh, what shall I do!” she added, bursting into tears.
I was sorry I had agitated the girl, but I laughed, saying in a bantering way:
“You silly lad. Yon are too big to cry like that. One would think you were a girl” She looked at me, with the big tears running down her cheeks, and said: “Oh I know I ought not to cry; but I can’t help it I, — I am”-she stopped suddenly and buried her face in her handkerchief.
I thought I had pushed the joke far enough; so I told her not to cry; that after all, there was plenty of time to think over the matter, and that she need not bother herself about it for the present.
She seemed to be satisfied with what I had said; and she dried her eyes, smiling gratefully at me, and in a short time she was chatting and laughing merrily. She was a light-hearted creature, who evidently thought that “sufficient for the day is the evil thereof.” She played a game of chess, and afterwards she read to me for some time; then we parted for the night, with the secret still untold.
A fortnight passed without anything happening worth recording. Then certain events occurred, the details of which I will relate, though “Frank” had no part in the affairs.
One morning, just after breakfast, I was in the hall, fixing on one of the panels a number of Eastern weapons; when a young girl came in, bringing me a note from one of my neighbours, who had left k at the lodge with orders that it should be taken to me at once. The girl, named Anna Lee, was fifteen years old; she was a friendless waif who had been left in the village by a band of gipsies, five or six years previously; and she would have been sent to the workhouse, had it not been for the charity of my lodge-keeper, Mrs. Grove, who took the deserted child into her cottage, and had kept her ever since. The note required an answer; so, telling the girl to wait in the hall, I went up to the library to write a reply. I hastily scribbled a few lines, and then I went back to the hall, gave the note to Anna, and told her to take it to its destination without delay. She went away. and I finished arranging the trophy of arms; then I went to the little table on which I had placed my watch before beginning my work. I looked about carefully, but the watch was not to be found.
It was a massive, old-fashioned, gold lever, which had belonged to my father, consequently I valued it very highly. As no one had been in the hall but Anna Lee, I felt quite certain that she had stolen the watch. I was very angry, and at once made up my mind to go after the girl, hoping to be able to catch her before she had time to hide her booty; so without saying anything to my servants, I started off. Hurrying down the avenue, I passed through the lodge-gates out on to the road, and looked up and down it, but the girl was nowhere in sight; so I thought I had better go back to the lodge and speak to Mrs. Grove.
She received me with great respect and ceremony, ushered me into her neat little sitting-room, and made me sit in the best chair, while she stood before me, waiting to hear what I had to say.
Mrs. Grove was about forty-five years of age; a good-looking buxom woman, whose husband had been lodge-keeper; and on his death I had allowed her to remain in charge of the lodge, as she was quite capable of performing all the dudes of lodge-keeper, with the assistance of her grown-up daughter.
Mrs. Grove had been born and brought up on the estate, so she was devoted to me, and to everything connected with Oakhurst.
I told her what had happened, and asked her to keep an eye on Anna’s proceedings, and if possible, find out what she had done with the watch.