"You do?"
"I do. And I like what I see."
A smile is her reply. "I like what I see, too, Carter Shaw."
When she asks me truth or dare, the truth sticks to my tongue. I want to tell her about grandpa, about Mom, but more than that, I want tonight to be about her and making her feel better without my problems pushing their way in.
"Dare," I tell her. "Dare me to kiss you."
Kira laughs. "I don't have to dare you to do that." And then it's her who leans forward to kiss me, but right before her lips touch mine, I speak again.
"Go to winter formal with me."
"I would have thought that was a given, Coach."
We're both laughing as our lips meet in the middle.
Chapter Fifteen
"It feels weird waiting for Kira to come over here instead of picking her up. Shouldn't I lose points for that or something?" I'm standing in front of the mirror, slipping on my suit jacket. My black slacks are a little baggy, just how I like them. I thought about tucking in the white, button-up shirt, but it it's not really my style and I know Kira won't mind. She'll want me to be me. I went back and forth on the tie, but ditched it, too. Unfortunately, my Nikes had to go, replaced by a pair of black dress shoes. I can't imagine if I tried to pull this off with Mel. I probably wouldn't even have tried.
"No, you don't lose points for that. Lana had to go to work and she wants to see you guys together. Are you sure you shouldn't wear the tie?" Mom asks from the doorway.
"Nope."
"Okay, what about your hair? It's a little messy."
Kira likes it like this, I want to tell her. "I brushed it after I washed it." Mom groans so I turn to her. "Mom, I know Kira. She's not like other girls. She's different. She'd probably laugh at me if I tried too hard."
Mom steps up behind me, brushing invisible lint off my shoulders. "You really like her, don't you?"
My chest starts to feel a little tight. "Yeah."
Mom takes a couple deep breaths, and I know something big is coming. "You're being safe, right? I'm not an idiot. Even though I'd rather you waited, I know how it is. I just want to make sure you're being careful. Taking care of your responsibilities, which are to always, always use a condom."
So not the thing I want to talk about with my mom. "Mom..."
"I know it's embarrassing, but it's also important. Do you need protection? I—"
My cheeks feel hot. I don't remember the last time I blushed. Pulling away, "Lalalala," I tease. "We really don't have to do this, Ma. We're not sleeping together and if it does happen, I have it under control. I won't be stupid about it." End of story. I hope.
A smile tugs at the corners of Mom's mouth. She's been smiling a lot lately. Still not drinking, even after all the crap with Grandpa. Hopefully he'll stay hidden away in his new nursing home and we won't have to deal with him again.
"I know you won't. If I don't say it enough, there aren't words for how proud I am of you. Your father would be, too. You're so much like him." Mom touches my cheek. "Any time I'm missing him, I just have to look at you. You're a wonderful guy, just like him."
"I..." It's the first time she's said that to me. We talk about him all the time. I know how much she loved him, still loves him, but she's never told me any of this. For the millionth time, I wish he could be here with us. How different would our lives have been if he never died? I bet she wouldn't drink. I never remember her drinking when he was alive. But then...we wouldn't have Sara, either, so it's not like I can really wish for him to be here.
"I know, Carter," Mom says, saving me.
Turning toward the mirror again, I straighten the collar on my jacket. "You have to admit, I look good."
***
Holy shit.
I can't move out of the entryway to my house. One hand is on the door, the other against the wall, blocking Kira and Lana from entering, but I can't find it in myself to step out of the way. My body temperature spikes about a million degrees. I try to fight it, but my mind goes back to the conversation I had with Mom a little while ago, suddenly wanting to be in the situation where I'll need the protection she talked about.
Kira is always gorgeous. Tonight, I realize she's the most beautiful girl in the world.
Her hair is straight, but tied up in some kind of ball. Little wispy multi-color ribbons blend in, hanging down. I love her hair down, but up like this, it shows me her neck. Her very nice neck. I like necks.
Her dress reaches right above her knees, showing me her legs. I like legs.
The straps are thin, I don't know what they're called, but they show me her collarbone, shoulders. Lots of creamy brown skin. I like skin.
Even though the bottom of her dress flares out, the top is tight. Not too tight, but hugging her curves, her breasts. I like curves and breasts.
Her dress is kind of silky, and colorful, just like her. All the bright colors from her ribbons are in the dress, too. I like it. I like her.
"Fancy seeing you here, Coach." Her teeth are so white. My porch light glints off the tiny diamond in her nose. I take in her cheekbones again. Everything about her I want to study. To know in a way that I can never forget it.
My brain knows I should reply, but I can't. I just can't stop staring.
Lana leans toward her and says, "I think he likes it."
Her words pull me out of my Kira-trance. Lana ducks under my arm, either joining my mom behind me or running all the way to China for all I know. The most important thing is she's left me and Kira alone. "You're incredible," I finally say.
A dusting of red highlights her cheeks and travels south. "You're not so bad yourself."
***
"I hope that's okay. I thought you'd like it better than roses or something like that." I wanted to give her a corsage that was different like her, so I'm hoping the Lily isn't too...big. Travis stood in the florist with me for an hour. And he totally gave me crap about it a couple times too, but it's been worth it. "I didn't realize it would be so..."
"Perfect," she says. Before clapping her hands together which I've noticed is always what she does when she gets an idea. "Okay! This is what we're going to do tonight. Let's make a deal that we'll just have fun. Not that I don't always have fun with you, but tonight is 'Happy Kira and Carter night'. What do you think?"
I'm pretty sure it sounds incredible. "Deal. Just one question, though—"
"Carter!"
"Just one. I swear. I just want to know...did you decide if you're going? To LA?"
Kira shakes her head. "No, I didn't decide, now shh. Happy Kira and Carter night."
"Happy Kira and Carter night," I echo after her.
"So, what do you know about the girl Travis is going with?" Kira plays with one of the colored ribbons in her hair. I get out of the car, and run around to open her door before answering.
"Not much. She doesn't go to our school. He met her at a party or something like that." I lock my fingers together with hers. "And I know she isn't as beautiful as you."