Evelyn was curious. “How old was the girl?”
“Oh, she was a full-grown woman, only she was tiny, she had to stand on a box while she did my hair. I’d say she was about two inches away from being a midget. Of course, I don’t let any handicap like that bother me, and I love a midget.… I wonder whatever happened to that little midget that sold cigarettes?”
“Where?”
“On the radio and TV. They used to dress him up like a bellboy, sold Phillip Morris cigarettes. You remember!”
“Oh yes. I know who you’re talking about now.”
“Oh, I used to get the biggest kick out of him. I always wished he would come to Whistle Stop so I could sit him on my lap and play with him.”
Evelyn had brought dyed eggs, candy corn, and Easter chocolates, and told Mrs. Threadgoode that they would celebrate all over again this week since she had not been with her on the actual day. Mrs. Threadgoode thought that was a fine idea, and told Evelyn that candy corn was her favorite and that she liked to bite the white tips off first and save the rest for later, and she proceeded to do so as she reported on Easter.
“Oh Evelyn, I wish you could have been out here. The nurses hid eggs all over. We put some in our pockets and in our rooms and the entire third grade from Woodlawn came out and they were the cutest things, running up and down the hall. Oh, they had the grandest time! And it meant so much for these old people out here, most of them are just starved to see youngsters. I think it cheered everybody up. Old people need to see children every once in a while,” she whispered confidentially. “It lifts their spirits. Some of these real old ladies they have out here just sit in their wheelchairs all hunched over … but when the nurses give them a baby doll to hold, you’d be surprised at how they just sit right up, holding on to their dolls. Most of them think it’s their own babies they’ve got.
“And guess who else came out here Easter?”
“Who?”
“That weather girl from the television station … I forget her name, but she’s famous.”
“Well, that must have been very nice.”
“Oh, it was … but, you know what?”
“What?”
“It just dawned on me. Not one famous person ever came to Whistle Stop … except Franklin Roosevelt and Mr. Pinto, the criminal, but they were both dead at the time, so it doesn’t count. Poor old Dot Weems never did have anything exciting to write about.”
“Who was he?”
Mrs. Threadgoode was surprised. “You never heard of Franklin Roosevelt?”
“No, Mr. Pinto.”
“You never heard of Mr. Pinto?”
“Pinto? You mean like a pinto pony?”
“No honey, like a pinto bean. Seymore Pinto. He was a famous murderer!”
“Oh … no, well, I guess he was before my time.”
“Well, you’re lucky, because he was a mean somebody. I think he was half Indian, or maybe he was Eye-talian, but whatever he was, you wouldn’t want to meet up with him on a dark night, I can tell you that.”
Mrs. Threadgoode finished her candy corn and bit the head off one of her chocolate bunnies. She looked at it. “Sorry, mister.” Then she said, “You know, Evelyn, I guess I’m the only one out here that’s having myself two Easters. It may be a sin, but I won’t tell anyone if you won’t.”
MARCH 28, 1940
Famous Criminal Comes to Whistle Stop
Mr. Pinto, the famous murderer, passed through Whistle Stop on the 7:15 from Mobile. The train stopped for only ten minutes, and Stump Threadgoode and Peggy Hadley got a picture of the dead man, and when it is developed, Idgie will put it up in the cafe.
Idgie took her Cub Scout troop over to Birmingham, to Kiddyland Park, and then to the Five Points Theater to see I Was a Fugitive from a Chain Gang, which they all enjoyed.
Idgie says that she has a genuine shrunken head from headhunters in South America, and it is on the counter at the cafe, if you want to see it.
Is there anybody out there that can cure snoring? If so, come over to my house. My other half is about to drive me insane. I might send him out to the dogs. Even one of his old hounds snores, just like he does. I told him the other day, it must run in the family. Ha. Ha.
The reward for Railroad Bill just went up again. Some people think he may be from around here. The big question is: Who is Railroad Bill? I would even suspect Wilbur, but he’s too lazy to get up in the middle of the night.
The Elks Club named Rev. and Mrs. Scroggins’s son, Bobby, Boy of the Year and we know they are proud.
… Dot Weems …
P.S. My other half came home from the Dill Pickle Club fishing trip without any fish again and with poison ivy to boot. He said it was Idgie’s fault because she told him to sit there. Ruth said Idgie had a bad case of it too.
MARCH 25, 1940
Stump turned off all the lights in the back room and was lying on the floor by the radio, listening to “The Shadow.” He was admiring the ring he had sent off for, the way it shone in the dark, and was waving his hand around, fascinated with the eerie green glow.
The man on the radio with the deep voice was saying, “The weeds of crime bear … bitter fruit … crime does not pay …” Followed by the maniacal laugh, “Ha! ha! ha!!!”
Just then, Idgie came in from the cafe and threw on the lights, nearly scaring him to death.
“Guess what, Stump? Grady just told me that Mr. Pinto is coming through here in the morning, on the seven-fifteen, on his way to be buried, and they’re gonna change trains over at the yard.”
Stump jumped up, his heart still pounding. “Mr. Pinto? The real Mr. Pinto?”
“Yes. Grady said he was only gonna be here for a few minutes, just long enough to put him on the other train. I’d go with you, but I’ve got to drive your mother over to Birmingham for this church thing she’s got to go to. But if you want to see him, Grady said you should be down there by six-thirty, and he said for you not to tell anyone, because everyone in town is likely to show up.”
“Okay, I won’t.”
“And Stump, for God’s sake, don’t tell your mother I told you.”
“Okay.”
Since Stump had received a Brownie camera for his birthday, he asked Idgie if he could take a picture of Mr. Pinto.
“You’re not gonna see anything but his coffin, but if you want a picture of it, I guess you can. Ask Grady first, do you hear me?”
“Yes ma’am.”
He ran over to Peggy’s house to impress her with this privileged information about Mr. Pinto, who had been captured only after a long and hard gun battle at a cabin in north Alabama, where three policemen had been shot. He had been apprehended with his girl friend, billed as Hazel, the Flame-Haired Murderess with the Heart of Steel, who had personally knocked off a lawman in Baldwin County. When he got the death sentence, headlines blazed all over Alabama: “MR. PINTO TO TAKE A SEAT IN ‘BIG YELLOW MOMMA.’ ”
That was the name given to the huge iron electric chair down at Folsom Prison that had claimed hundreds of lives over the years. But this was something special.
When he got to the house, Dr. Hadley was sitting on the front glider and told Stump that Peggy was inside, helping her mother with the dishes. So he went in the backyard and waited.
When Peggy came out, Stump told her the news, and she was duly impressed, like he’d hoped she would be. Then he proceeded to give her instructions.
“In the morning, I’ll come to this tree, right here, and I’ll signal you like this …”