This was clearly connived at, secretly, by the Catholic Church’s insistence that contraception be eschewed. So it was that large families were commonplace and the likely cause of male homosexuality-an increasing immune reaction of the mother to her foetus-more likely. Women have often been found to have in their tissues cells XY chromosomes, leaked from their male babies, years after they gave birth to them. As the XYs accumulate with each successive boy, so is the possibility of an abreaction and therefore a gay offspring increased. This research was published in 2006 following twenty similar findings over the last ten years. Professor Anthony Bogaert, from Brock University in Canada, showed in his paper presented to the National Academy of Science in America that later boys, but not girls, are more likely to be gay.
On this basis I would expect there to be fewer male homosexuals in China, where the one-baby policy has held sway for some time. I would also expect, however, that gaiety will diminish now that family size has gone down in Western Europe and some parts of America. This could be catastrophic for the creativity of Western civilisation. Something should be done.
The future of sex will not-as you know, dear reader- have much to do with most of these science fiction fantasies. As usual, the path will be everyday and seemingly prosaic. You may agonise about the handful of ‘designer’ babies everyone from Peter Singer to Cardinal George Pell broods about, but the real worry is a billion babies who should not have been born at all.
There may be a beat-up in the media every five years or so about the demise of males, but the real worry is why half of the three billion men who do prevail treat women like muck. In Russia alone, 12,000 to 14,000 women a year are killed by their husbands; the world figure for abuse-physical violence-is three million every year (in case you had doubts). I tried to check reliable figures for the ‘honour’ killing of women-the number murdered by their families because of real or suspected relationships outside strict rules. What’s really creepy is the fact that these statistics are not readily available (though very high) because they are so willingly covered up by authorities.
Meanwhile, having children as an automatic reflex is tacitly encouraged in nearly every country. In Australia you have ‘one for him, one for her-and one for the Federal Treasurer’. (Peter Costello tells a joke about a woman who contacted him to say she’d done this, and would he like to come and collect the baby.)
Everyone under the age of 40 is continually badgered about procreation, as if making another human being and spending twenty years coping with the consequences is the easiest accomplishment on earth (not to mention the effect on global population). It isn’t. It is a responsibility requiring skills and endurance worthy of a saint.
The model Elle Macpherson is instructive on how to meet the demands of looking after young children: instead of only two daytime nannies, you should employ a night nurse as well! Hire a staff of three and you’ll be fine, she advises. Go to it.
Our age has fewer extended families. The job of bringing up kids is typically either solitary or done with just a couple of helpers. This is horrendously hard on any woman or man alone, and should be recognised as such. People must be discouraged from having children until ready, just as we are prohibited from flying jet aircraft if we are not pilots.
It is not a valid response to look at little Jack or Emma and ask how we could ever imagine a life without them. Every child, when born, is a real person. Asking for restraint is not to wish those we know out of existence. It is the infinite number of nameless ones who do not yet exist that we must reduce. Why won’t young people, especially young women, agree to wait? How sensible is it to groan, cow-like, that you are driven to procreate? You are not a cow. Unless you live in one of those slum estates in The Bill.
Another challenge for sex, in future, is the one I began with: monogamy. It seems to me unlikely that any relationship that is going to last many years can reasonably be expected to be free of dalliance. If staying in thrall to one partner is your genuine preference, then good luck to you-you will have much spare time to apply creatively. If, on the other hand, you are the kind of person who is refreshed by a romantic interlude and happy to return home quietly (and women may often be more inclined to do this than men), it seems bizarre to wreck an entire relationship, home and indeed the welfare of children over anything so very nineteenth century as jealousy.
When I returned to my beloved Vienna (as described in Chapter 5), I visited the offices of the UN Population Division. There they told me that one of the worst influences on greenhouse gases was divorce. Every time a couple splits, another household has to be formed with yet more paraphernalia-energy burning, water flowing, garbage. In places like India, children are seen as their parents’ old age insurance-you have plenty of children so you’ll be cared for later on. The result of this, and the poverty that ensues, is there are 44 million child labourers in India. We cannot afford this free-for-all any more. Paul Ehrlich was right back in 1968. There are too many people. Six and a half billion and counting!
Who will make us face up to the future of sex? I don’t know. But I suspect educated women will be one answer.
The Hunches of Nostradamus
2008 Universal right to orgasm demanded by Swedes for inclusion in UN Charter.
2009 Robots replace girls in LA brothels. Men form queues.
2010 McBrothels open on three continents. Hookers demand compensation.
2011 McHooker (robot) in UK has wiring malfunction and pulps client’s member. British men line up for similar service.
2012 Pfizer launches drug guaranteed to make women multi-orgasmic.
2013 A-levels in Sex Technique offered at 27 schools in England.
2014 Marriage becomes minority relationship in OECD countries.
2015 McBrothels offer permanent companions designed ‘for your every need’. They can change shape as you fancy. They are solar powered and can be charged during the day.
2016 Richard Branson launches Virgin rival to McHookers.
2017 Fourteen per cent of Arab women turn out to be robots wearing veils.
2018 Pope agrees to sex for priests as long as no other human involved.
2019 Female Danish performance artist Stella Bang claims to have had 396 orgasms in one day. Found to have a labial South-East Asian cattle tick. Dies.
2020 Sex-free holidays corner singles market.
5500 Men and women become distinct species. (Again.)