She hadn't meant to sound so whiny. But it was true. Jason had gotten the brains, and she had gotten the beauty. Her parents had told her that over and over, every time she brought home a "D" in Math on a report card or struggled through reading Moby Dick. She was destined to be in service, they'd said, since she was so good at smiling, being cheerful, making people happy. And what she resented was that they made that sound like it was less worthy than working in a laboratory. It wasn't, and at twenty-eight she knew that.
She hadn't at twenty-two, and getting a job at a computer design firm had been an act of defiance in some ways. Unfortunately the triumph was short-lived since she'd worked there five years and was still an entry-level employee.
Lucas frowned at her, his hand going still. "You're kidding me. Is that how you think Jason sees you? Is that how you think I see you?"
"Well…" Ashley didn't want to discuss this. She didn't know why she had sounded so needy. She didn't know why it mattered in the least what her parents or anyone else thought of her abilities. She knew who she was and she liked herself.
But the harsh truth was she was not the kind of woman Lucas Manning would want long term, no matter what his hormones thought. She would bore him senseless in under three weeks.
"Jason doesn't think you're brainless. And neither do I. In case you hadn't noticed, I think you're amazing. I think you're the most exciting, fun, beautiful, interesting woman I've ever known. I've known you for almost twenty years and I've always respected and admired you for who you are."
She winced. She hadn't meant to force him into extolling her virtues. "Thank you. I've always felt the same about you." But that didn't change the fact that they were intellectually incompatible.
Chances were good he would bore her too.
Only she knew that was a lie the minute the thought popped into her head. She had always liked Lucas, enjoyed his curiosity, his humility, so different from her brother, who bragged incessantly.
"I meant what I said before." Lucas turned on his side so he was facing her, chocolate eyes searching over her. "I love you."
His voice was so tender, so determined, that Ashley felt her resolve wavering. He sounded so damn sincere, and she felt that it would be so, so easy to just relax into her own feelings. It would only be a matter of a second and she could fall straight into love with Lucas.
It couldn't be that easy.
"We're complete opposites," she whispered. "You're responsible, I'm flighty. You have a master's degree and a title with a whole bunch of words I can't even pronounce, and I only graduated from college by a prayer."
Lucas didn't look concerned. He kissed her softly. "You have common sense, I have none. I have trouble remembering left from right and to turn the oven off when I'm done cooking. Don't you see, Ash? We balance each other."
She chewed her lip, wondering, worrying. It wasn't like her to get this worked up-usually she dove into relationships and thought later. Which was probably why they had all ended disastrously. And this was Lucas. Help her, she did love him, and she didn't want to hurt him, to mess this up.
"I know I'm annoying, Ash, I know I ask too many questions and I think too much instead of just doing things. But that's who I am, and I can't change that."
That got her attention. Ashley touched his cheek, horrified that he would think that about himself. "Oh, Lucas, don't say that. You're not annoying at all. I like that about you, I like that you stop and think everything through instead of just throwing yourself into it. I… I…"
Oh, dear God, she was going to say it. She'd never said this to any man, ever, and she was going to just blurt it out right now, naked on her couch, to Lucas, who was giving her one of those earnest looks she just absolutely adored.
"Yes?"
"I… I love you, Lucas. I do."
His brow wrinkled as he frowned. "You do?"
She nodded. "Yes." She did, she really, really did.
And she was scared shitless.
Eight
Lucas studied Ashley's face. She loved him. She. Loved. Him.
He hadn't seen that one coming.
He had hoped that someday, maybe, after much persuasive sex, she could be convinced that they could work out something permanent, and he knew that she cared about him… but in love with him?
That was beyond his greatest expectations.
"Like you love me like a friend, a brother, someone you've known your whole life?" He sought clarity of her statement.
"No, silly." She kissed him, moving her mouth over his softly.
Ashley tasted sweet, warm, and he liked the way she was sliding up against him, hand on his cheek, her touches tender and seeking. She pulled back and smiled.
"I love you like a woman loves a man. I love you in a way that is almost overwhelming, because it's so unexpected."
He kissed her fingertips resting on his lips, happiness crashing over him.
"But it's so strong, it seems to me that maybe somehow it's always been there, I just didn't know it."
Lucas couldn't say the same. "I always knew I loved you."
"Really?" She smiled, sighed, snuggled into his arms. "Why didn't you say something?"
He nearly laughed. "For all the reasons you just outlined. I didn't think you'd be interested in your little brother's geeky friend. Not when you were busy dating every high school football coach on the west side. I've never been into sports."
Ashley squeezed his bicep. "Though you have developed some sexy muscles. Why have you been hiding these from me?"
"I don't think I have been."
"Then I've clearly been an idiot because when I turned tonight and you were standing there with no shirt on, jeans, barefoot, I about had an orgasm just looking at you."
Now that was a sexy little image. And it was good information for future seductions.
"Now just to recap what we've established here, Ash. I love you, you love me, we're sexually compatible, and our personalities are the perfect complement to each other. Right?"
She nodded.
"So we can consider ourselves together. Permanently." He liked to know where he stood.
Her cheeks lost their color. "But Lucas, don't forget I'm older than you. When I'm forty, you'll only be thirty-six."
"But I'll be forty in my heart," he said, with a perfectly straight face, even though he was being sarcastic. He thought a less than four-year age difference between them meant absolutely nothing. Less than nothing. Negative relevance.
She smacked his back. "I'm serious. I'll be all old and haggard at eighty and you'll only be seventy-six."
"I don't think it matters at that point. We'll both have plastic parts and wrinkles." But just the thought of spending his whole life with Ashley made him grin. "Now drop the age thing, Ash. It doesn't mean a damn thing."
"But…"
He cut her off. "I have a tickle-whip, remember? And I'm not afraid to use it."
Her green eyes went wide. "What do you mean?" She licked her lips.
Hot damn. She was so sexy. He patted her ass. "I mean, if you don't stop borrowing trouble and looking for excuses, I'll have to use whatever means necessary to convince you we're perfect for each other."
Breath catching, eyes half closed, she rubbed against him in a way that had him groaning.