Elliot’s eyes are now practically popping out of his head. “OK, from now on can you please just assume that my response to anything you say is prefixed with a ‘WTF’!”
I nod and laugh.
“WTF was the Walking Selfie doing in your bedroom?”
“He came around to see me. He brought me a Christmas present.”
“A Christmas present? What was it?”
“I don’t actually know. I never got around to opening it. Ollie was the one who told me that Noah was a musician. He saw a photo of him on my mirror and he recognized him.”
“What—but—oh my God.” Elliot grips hold of my arm. “OK, I’m sorry but I think we need to be seated for this conversation. Seated in front of two chocolate milkshakes so that I don’t actually pass out from the shock.”
“Choccywoccydoodah?” we both say together. “Jinx!”
I link arms with Elliot—or attempt to link arms with the enormous Puffa jacket—and we walk out onto the pier. But despite the biting sea breeze, I feel a growing warmth inside of me. My worst fears from yesterday were all unfounded. I’m not alone at all. I’ve got my family and the twins and I’ve got my amazing best friend back.
Chapter Forty-Three
By the time we get to the café, I’m feeling even better. None of the nightmare scenarios I’d been afraid of happening yesterday have happened. We’ve walked right through town and not a single person has recognized me and there hasn’t been a single abusive comment. As long as I can avoid the Internet for the next year, I should be fine.
We order our milkshakes and find a table at the back. Normally I like to sit facing the door so that I can people-watch, but not today. Today, I instinctively sit with my back to the rest of the room, just in case.
“You know what, Penny, it’s Noah’s loss,” Elliot says, unzipping his Puffa jacket. “You’ll get over this eventually and move on, but if he’s the kind of guy who can be so deceitful then he’ll never be truly happy.”
I nod, wishing that I could believe him. “Thank you. I’m so glad I’ve got you. And you know what? No matter what happens in the future—even if I do one day, by some miracle, meet a genuine Prince Charming—no one could ever replace you. I’ll always need my best friend.”
I look at Elliot hopefully but he’s frowning.
“Well, well, well,” he says, pursing his lips the way he always does when he’s really annoyed.
At first I think he’s looking at me but then I see that he’s actually looking at something over my shoulder. I turn and see Megan and Ollie walking over to the counter, huddled in conversation. I feel a sudden burst of panic. What am I going to say to them? What am I going to do? But it turns out that I don’t need to do a thing because Elliot is already on his feet.
“Hey, Mega-Bitch?” he calls over to Megan.
Megan and Ollie turn and look over at us and in that instant I know for sure that they’re behind the Internet leak. As soon as they see me, they both look so guilty.
“Why don’t you come and join us?” Elliot says.
“Oh, no, it’s OK—we were just going,” Megan calls back, looking really flustered.
“That’s funny, because I could have sworn you’d just arrived.” Elliot starts walking over to them. I get to my feet and hurry after him.
“Hi, Penny,” Ollie mutters, not even able to make eye contact with me.
“Did you leak the story?” I ask, staring at Megan. She refuses to make eye contact with me too, staring at the floor. I take a step closer to her. “I said, did you leak that story about me?”
“About you what?” Megan hisses. “About you cheating with someone?”
“I didn’t cheat with anyone,” I hiss back. “I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t know he was with anyone.”
“Yeah right.” Megan looks at me scornfully. “If you didn’t want anyone knowing about it, why did you put it all over your stupid blog?”
“That blog is anonymous. Well, it was until you found out.” I turn to Ollie. “Did you see it on my laptop when you were in my room?”
Ollie doesn’t say anything, but his face flushes bright red.
I stare at him in disbelief. “You were snooping on my laptop?”
“It was right there,” Ollie says. “I just thought I’d have a read while you were in the bathroom.”
“I don’t think you’ve got any right to be judging anybody right now, Penny,” Megan says haughtily.
“Tell me,” Elliot says, turning to her, “do you go to night school to learn how to be such a bitch, or does it just come naturally?”
“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” she says snidely.
“That’s good, because I’ve got plenty to say to you and it’ll be so much better without any interruptions.” Elliot takes a step closer, so that his face is just inches from hers. “You have to be one of the most vacuous (look it up), inane (look it up), stupid (you should know that one) people I have ever met. And if it wasn’t for the fact that you have just really, really hurt my best friend, I wouldn’t even be wasting a single pascal (look it up) of breath on you.”
Megan turns to Ollie. “Are you going to let him talk to me like that?”
Ollie looks at her blankly.
Elliot laughs. “Oh, please. He’s probably too busy wondering whether this is a good time for a selfie.” He turns to Ollie. “It’s not, by the way; it’s a very bad time. But anyway—what was I saying?” He turns back to Megan. “Ah yes, you are easily, without a shadow of a shadow of a doubt, one of the ugliest people I have ever met.”
Megan visibly recoils.
Elliot nods. “It’s true. You’re so bitter and fake it actually oozes out of your pores. Just like pus!”
Megan gasps.
At this point, the waitress comes out of the kitchen holding the tray with our milkshakes. “Oh,” she says, when she sees us standing by the counter.
“It’s OK. We can have them over here,” Elliot calls, “with our friends.”
I look at him and he gives me the tiniest wink. The waitress puts the tray on the counter, then disappears back into the kitchen.
“Ready?” Elliot says to me quietly as we turn to pick up the glasses.
“Ready,” I reply.
We both pick up our drinks and we turn and we throw them over Megan and Ollie. And if there was an Olympic event for synchronized milkshake throwing, we would have just won gold. Megan and Ollie stand there gasping in shock as sludgy brown milkshake drips down from their heads.
“OK,” Elliot says to Ollie. “Right now? This would be an excellent time for a selfie.” Then he turns to me. “I think we’d better go.”
I nod. “Yep.” But before I leave I lean in close to Megan. “You’re pathetic,” I say. “And I’m not the only person who thinks so.”
Then Elliot and I turn and we run.
We don’t stop running until we’re up by the station. I clutch my side and try to catch my breath.
“Oh my God, that was epic!” Elliot gasps. “Even my favorite revenge fantasies aren’t that good.”
“You have revenge fantasies?”
“Oh yes. But they were nothing compared to that.” Then suddenly his face clouds over.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’d totally forgotten that I’ve run away.” We both look over at a homeless man lying in a doorway next to the station. His face and clothes are black with grime.
“There’s no way you’re sleeping rough tonight,” I tell him. “You’re coming home with me. I’m sure Mum and Dad won’t mind you staying over. They were only saying yesterday how much they’ve missed you since New York.”
“Really?”
“Yes. And then maybe we can get Dad to talk to your parents. You know how good he is in a crisis. He’ll know what to do.”