girlology
A Girl’s Guide to Stuff That Matters
girlology
A Girls’ Guide to
Stuff* That Matters
*Relationships, body talk & girl power!
Melisa Holmes, M.D.
&
Patricia Hutchison, M.D.
Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hcibooks.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Homes, Melisa.
Girlology : a girl’s guide to stuff that matters : relationships, bodytalk & girl power / Melisa Holmes & Patricia Hutchison.
p. cm.
eISBN-13: 978-0-7573-9499-7 eISBN-10: 0-7573-9499-X
1. Girls—Life skills guides. 2. Girls—Psychology. 3. Girls—Conduct of life. I. Hutchison, Patricia. II. Title.
HQ777.H664 2005
646.7'0082—dc22
2005052506
©2005 Melisa Holmes and Patricia Hutchison
All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
HCI, its Logos and Marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190
R-11-06
Cover and Inside design by Larissa Hise Henoch
Cover illustration and Inside art by Emily Eldridge
Inside Illustration also by Kevin Stawieray and Melisa Holmes
Inside book formatting by Dawn Von Strolley Grove
Contents
PART ONE: Stuck in the Middle 1 Why Me? Why Now?2 Friends Who Rock and Friends Who [Need to] Roll!3 Where Have All the Normal Parents Gone?
PART TWO: Body Talk 4 Not Your Usual Vocabulary List!5 Everybody’s Got a Body6 Periods, Period7 Boy, Oh Boy!8 S-E-X
PART THREE: There’s More to Sex!9 Sexuality: Good News, Bad News10 Mixed Messages 11 Crush or True Love?12 When IsWhat Okay?
PART FOUR: Growing Real Girl Power 13 Get Your Girl Power On!
Acknowledgments
PART ONE
Stuck in the Middle
1
Why Me? Why Now?
Spin, spin, spin. If you are a preteen or teen girl, we bet that’s what your head is doing right now!
You are probably whirling in a sea of mysterious body changes, relationship blowups and confusing information. At school and with friends, you hear chatter about periods, gossip about boyfriends and whispers about sex.
And you are probably bursting with questions. What is all this hair in weird places? Exactly how does sex happen, and why would anyone want to do that? Do I use the nasty words I see on the bathroom wall to talk about sex? What’s this stuff in my underwear? What’s up with my friends? Why do we fight and then make up all the time now? How do you tell the difference between a “boyfriend” and a friend who’s a boy? How about love and lust? And why don’t my parents get it anymore?
Guess what? There’s nothing wrong with having questions or wanting to know more—especially when it comes to your body, sex and relationships. All those crazy and confusing questions . . . they’re normal! And you probably are, too! (Do we hear a big sigh of relief?)
Girlhood Is a Gift!
You’re a girl. And you are made in an amazing and wonderful way. Because you are a girl, some things are going to happen to you: breasts, hips, pimples, periods, crushes on guys, fights with girlfriends, parents who don’t get it. You have no choice; they will happen! You are turning into a young woman, and your body and your brain are making these changes because you are developing sexually. So doesn’t it make sense that this is the time in your life to learn about these things?
Some things are guaranteed to happen. But there are other girl things you can make choices about—how you take care of your “new” body, how you use your newfound sex appeal, when you will kiss a guy or how you talk about sex to your parents. Even though there are a lot of things happening to you that are out of your control, it’s good to know that there are a lot of other things that you can control.
Girlology is going to help you open up your girlhood like a gift. We’ll rip off the wrapping paper, explore the mysteries inside, learn facts about “all things girl” and help you gain the confidence you need to decide what kind of girl you want to be.
So, What Is Girlology?
Before we dive in, let’s first tell you what Girlology is not:• Girlology is not a sex talk like you get at school.
• It’s not a science lesson.
• It’s not like a lecture from your parents.
All those things can be good, but they are not Girlology. Girlology is different.
Girlology was written by two female doctors who also happen to be mothers of daughters; one of us is a pediatrician (a doctor for children and teenagers up to about 18 years old) and the other is an obstetrician/ gynecologist (fancy words for a doctor who specializes in delivering babies and taking care of girls’ and women’s body parts that are involved in making babies). Both of us take care of lots of teens who are developing sexually. That means every day we talk to girls thinking about sex . . . avoiding sex . . . having sex . . . confused about sex . . . scared to death about consequences of sex. . . . You name it, we’ve seen it and talked about it.
We think girls are smart, unique, brave and strong, and we want you to have information that will let all that good stuff shine through!
As doctors, we see girls every day who have the same questions you do. And we see lots of girls and even women who have gotten some really wrong answers! No, your period will not stop when you go swimming. Yes, you can get pregnant the first time you have sex. No, you are not gay if you look at a naked girl in the locker room. Girlology is about giving you the straight, true facts about your body.
We also treat patients who have made healthy decisions about sex and relationships and others who aren’t so happy with the decisions they’ve made. We want you to be happy with the decisions you make! Girlology is about helping you figure out what’s important to you so that you can make decisions you will be pleased with for a long, long, long time.