— You didn’t hear that Pádraig said anything about burying me somewhere else in the cemetery?
— I gave my side a little wrench and there wasn’t a puff of breath left in me. The heart, God help us …
— Will you listen to what I’m saying, Seáinín. Listen to me. You didn’t hear that Pádraig said anything about burying me …
— You wouldn’t have been left unburied anyhow, Caitríona, no matter how much drink there was. Even myself who had a weak heart and all that …
— You’re the biggest dimwit since Adam ate the apple. Did you hear that Pádraig said anything about burying me somewhere else in the cemetery?
— Pádraig was to bury you in the Pound Plot, but Nell said the Fifteen-Shilling Plot was good enough for anyone, and that it was an awful thing to put a poor man to that expense.
— The bitch! She would say that! She was at the house so?
— A fine big colt we bought after Christmas. Ten pounds …
— Was it for the colt you paid the ten pounds? You told me before there was ten pounds of altar-money …
— There was ten pounds in your altar-money for certain, Caitríona. Ten pounds, twelve shillings. That was it exactly. Big Brian came along as the funeral was turning at the head of the boreen, and he was pressing a shilling on Pádraig but Pádraig wouldn’t accept it. That would have been ten pounds, thirteen shillings if he had …
— Rammed down his throat it should be! Big Brian! If the ugly streak of misery was looking for a woman he wouldn’t be late … But now, Seáinín Liam, listen to me … Good man! Was Nell at the house?
— She didn’t leave it from the time you died till you were brought to the church. She was the one attending to the women inside the house the day of the funeral. I went back into the room myself to fill a few pipes2 of tobacco for the Mangy Field crowd who were too shy to come in. Nell and myself began to talk:
“Caitríona is a fine corpse, may the Lord have mercy on her,” says I. “And you laid her out beautifully …”
Nell drew me into a secluded corner: “I didn’t like to say anything,” says she. “She was my sister …” Faith then, that’s what she said.
— But what did she say? Out with it …
— When I was easing it off myself inside the house I gave my side a little wrench. There wasn’t a puff of breath left in me. Not a puff! The heart …
— Oh, the Lord bless us and save us! Yourself and Nell were in the corner of the room and she said: “I didn’t want to say anything, Seáinín Liam. She was my sister …”
— Faith then, that’s what she said. May I not leave this spot if she didn’t: “Caitríona was a rough and ready worker,” says she. “But she wasn’t the cleanest, may the Lord have mercy on her. If she were, I assure you she would be laid out beautifully. Look at the dirt on that winding-sheet now, Seáinín. See the spots. Isn’t that disgraceful! You’d think she could have washed her grave-clothes and laid them aside. If she’d been lingering for a long time I wouldn’t mind. Everybody’s noticing the spots on the winding-sheet. Cleanliness is a grand thing, Seáinín …”
— Ababúna! Holy Mother of God! I left them as clean as crystal in the corner of the chest. My son’s wife or the children must have soiled them. Or else whoever laid me out. Who laid me out, Seáinín?
— Nóra Sheáinín’s daughter and Nell. Little Cáit was sent for but she wouldn’t come … The heart, God help us …
— What heart! Wasn’t it her back she was complaining of? You think that because your own old heart was rotten everyone else’s heart is rotten. Why wouldn’t Little Cáit come? …
— Pádraig sent his eldest girl to get her. I don’t remember her name. I should remember it indeed. But I died too suddenly. The heart …
— Máirín is her name.
— That’s right. Máirín. Máirín it is …
— Pádraig sent Máirín back to get Little Cáit, did he? And what did she say? …
—“I’ll never go over to that village again,” says she. “I’m finished with it. The way’s too long for me now with the sort of heart I have …”
— It’s not the heart but the back, I tell you. Who was it keened me?
— The stable was finished except for the roof. Little and all help as I was able to give the young fellow …
— You won’t be giving him even that much any more … But listen now, Seáinín. Good man yourself! Who keened me? …
— Everybody said it was an awful pity Bid Shorcha didn’t come, and when she’d have had her fill of porter …
— Ababúna! So Bid wasn’t there to keen me?
— The heart.
— The heart! How could it be the heart! The kidneys were Bid Shorcha’s complaint, the same as myself. Why didn’t she come?
— When someone was sent for her, what she said was: “I wouldn’t stir a foot for them. I cried my eyes out for them, and did I get any respect for it? No: ‘Bid Shorcha’s a sponger. Sponging for drink. I’ll warrant you won’t hear a wail out of her till she has drunk enough to put a billy-goat in kid. She’ll keen woefully enough then alright.’ Let them keen themselves now, if they want to. From now on I’m only going to keen certain people.” That’s what she said …
— A right bitch, that Bid Shorcha. But I’ll let her have it when she comes here! … Was Nell whispering in the priest’s ear at the funeral?
— The priest wasn’t there at all. He went to Siúán the Shop’s cousin’s funeral, as she was fine and close to him. But he lit eight candles …
— That’s something no corpse ever had before, Seáinín.
— Except that one of them went out, Caitríona. Snuffed …
— Snuff the lot of them!
— And he said the world of prayers, and he sprinkled the holy water five times on the coffin, a thing that was never seen before … Nell said he was blessing the two corpses at once, but I wouldn’t say so myself …
— Arrah, Seáinín, why would he do that? May the Lord reward him. Even that much, it’s great revenge on Nell. How is her son Peadar?
— Poorly enough. Poorly enough. The heart …
— Oh musha,3 musha, musha! What’s that nonsense about the heart! Wasn’t it his hip was hurt. Or did it go to his heart since? That’s better still …
— The hip, Caitríona. The hip. There’s talk of the law case being heard in Dublin in the autumn. Everybody says he’ll lose, and that he’ll leave Nell and Big Brian’s daughter without a brass farthing …
— May he do just that! May God grant it … What did you say about Tomás Inside?
— After I’d collected the pension I had a drop of tea and I went down to the Common Field …
— Don’t worry! You’ll never again set foot there … Listen. Listen, I say. Tomás Inside …
— Tomás Inside? Full of life. The cabin was about to fall in on him for want of a roof. Nell came to your Pádraig recently: “It’s an awful shame for you to leave that poor old man with the rain down on top of him,” she said. “Only for what happened to my Peadar …”
— And the little fool gave in to the bitch …
— He was busy, but he said he’d put a bit of straw here and a bit there on the worst leaks till he’d get a chance to give it a proper cover … The heart …
—’Tis true for you. The heart. Pádraig has a good heart. Too good … You didn’t hear him say anything about putting a cross over me?
— A brand-new cross of Island limestone, Caitríona …