I didn’t see how anyone could do things as right as Seri could, and yet be so wicked underneath. She tried hard to take care of the tenants in the right way, just like Papa always said we had to do, showing them how they were important and respected. By the end of the day, I was tired and confused again. But then Seri made a mistake. I was ready to drink a glass of wine with her, but she started talking about Papa and how he would be proud of me. That made me think of him and how he wouldn’t ever be there for Covenant Day again because of her and her sorcerer prince. It made me angry to know she’d brought Papa’s murderer to our house. I wondered if maybe the wine was poisoned, so I threw it at her and ran away. I felt like a coward.
When I left the great hall, I made a quick trip to my room to grab my cloak and down to the cellar to get my pack. I was ready to go except for one thing. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Lucy. I hoped to slip in and out of her room without anyone seeing me, but the servants’ quarters were as busy as an anthill, what with Covenant Day and the baby being born and all. I had to hide in an empty room until everything quieted down. Hours passed. I could have bitten a brick in half by the time Tocano went around turning down all the lamps. Even then I gave it a bit more time just to be sure. I wished I could make myself invisible.
When I finally got to Lucy’s room, light shone out from underneath the door. Lucy never seemed to sleep very much. Whenever I came to her, she would be rocking in her chair, facing the doorway and smiling, as if she were just waiting for me to walk in. That night though, when I scratched on the door, I didn’t hear her chair creaking, or her tapping that would tell me to come in, or any other sound. I almost didn’t go in for fear of waking her. But I had to leave and I had to tell her, so I pushed open the door.
I’d never seen a dead person before, but even if there hadn’t been all the blood, I would have known Lucy wasn’t there any more. Her room had always been friendly, full of the things we played with and things we made, but on that night it just seemed dirty and cluttered. I sat beside her chair for a long time, too stupid to do anything but cry. Then I finally told myself that she wasn’t coming back, and that the ones who killed her were probably looking for me. That made me angry again, and I guess I went crazy for a while.
Seri and her friends had killed Lucy. Seri had told the old man how there was only one old woman who gave her cause to worry, and how she could “take care of her.” I wanted to hurt Seri for what she’d done. I could think of only one way to do it, because Seri only cared about one thing-Comigor. I wanted to burn the place down, but I couldn’t do it. I was the lord, so I was responsible for the house and all the people on its lands. Nothing else seemed big enough. But then I thought of a small thing that Seri would hate.
From the kitchen I stole a bag and a flint and steel. I took the bag to the library and filled it with the lead soldiers-those beastly things that had started the bad part of my life. Then, I hauled the bag up to Seri’s favorite place on the secret tower so I could burn them. Lead melts easily.
It was cold and windy on the roof. My fingers were already freezing and shaking when I untied the bag. I felt doubly stupid when I remembered that there wasn’t any wood up there either. And someone was sure to notice if I started hauling wood up the stairs. But I knew how to make things hot without any wood or oil or flint. I didn’t care if it was dangerous or evil, because there were people about who were a lot more evil than me. So I dumped the bag of soldiers in the firepit and thought about making the soldiers hot so Seri couldn’t have them anymore. The colors started turning to black, and then the arms and legs and faces melted. Pretty soon all the bodies and horses and ships and wagons sagged together. It was a silly thing to do, but it made me feel a lot better.
One more thing I had to do before I left the castle. Mama always said that noble ladies should have flowers for every special occasion, that they loved flowers more than about anything. Lucy was finer than any noble lady I ever knew, so I slipped down into the garden and made one of the lilies bloom for her. I had already done one wicked thing that night. Another probably couldn’t make me any worse. I didn’t care any more.
My boots echoed through the passageways when I sneaked back into the castle. The whole place was dark and quiet like the Comigor tombs on Desfier, so that I wondered if Seri and the sorcerers had killed everyone in the place. I didn’t dare look in any other room for fear someone would be lying there dead. I just hurried back to Lucy as fast as I could. I dragged her to her pallet and straightened her out so she would rest more peaceful, then I knelt down beside her, smeared some of her blood on my hand, and said, “I swear I’ll remember you forever, and when I’m a man, I’ll find the ones who did this to you and make them pay for it. On your blood and the honor of the House of Comigor, I swear it.” Then I laid the flower on her.
“And do you know who’s responsible for this reprehensible deed, Your Grace?”
I almost fell down onto Lucy I was so surprised. Captain Darzid was standing in the corner right behind me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, trying not to sound scared.
“I’ve come to see your mother, but as she’s indisposed, I thought to look in on you. You’re not easy to find. So what’s happened to this sad person?”
“This is my old nurse, Lucy. She was… feebleminded. I don’t know why anyone would hurt her.”
“Lucy?” Darzid knelt down beside me and looked at Lucy. “Your name for the nurse… of course. The poor woman must have been terrified to see your aunt return to this house. Probably expected this to happen every day since. Sometimes the past will not leave us alone.” He acted like he wasn’t even surprised.
“But Lucy never did anything to anyone.”
“You know about your Aunt Seri? That she was married to a sorcerer.”
I didn’t look at him. “Yes. King Evard burned him. And I know that Papa killed her baby so another wicked sorcerer wouldn’t live in the world.”
“Yes… well. You know a great deal, it seems. Have you become friendly with your aunt since she’s come to Comigor? Gotten to know her well?”
“No. She is wicked and condemned. She doesn’t belong here. Papa wouldn’t wish it. I don’t speak with her.”
Darzid smiled at me in that way I hated, like he was my friend and no one else was. “Of course, very wise. Well, there was a time during all of that unpleasantness about her husband, when it was necessary that your aunt be confined to the palace in Montevial. She was very well treated. Your father saw to that, for he hoped she would come to see the terrible evils she had done-allowing sorcery to exist in this world where it had no place-mortal men taking the power that belongs to the gods alone. During those months your aunt was given a serving sister to wait on her-”
“Lucy!”
“Yes. This very same woman. I saw her there several times.”
“No wonder Lucy said-”
“Said? Was not the woman a mute?” The captain drew his forehead up so tight he looked like he had only one eyebrow.
“She could talk with signs and pictures. She couldn’t read or write, but she could draw really fine. I could always understand her.”
“I’m sure you could. And what did she tell you about your aunt?”
“She didn’t want to talk about Seri, and she wouldn’t leave her room any more after Seri came, so I just thought she must be afraid of her.”
“Your aunt holds a great hatred for those who called her to account for her crimes, including everyone who was involved in her captivity. Ask her about me and you’ll see it. I don’t think she distinguishes between those like your father and me who were in authority, carrying out our responsibilities to the king and the law, and those, like Lucy here, who were caught up in the situation unwittingly.”
“Lucy was the best person in the world.”