“I used to teach school myself but on the ninth grade level. I quit after a year because I just couldn't handle children. I simply lacked the firm hand to keep the boys and girls in line. My parents were disappointed in me because they had paid so much for my education and now I proved a failure.
“After my mother died I moved back home to take care of dad. I was glad of the chance to be useful and make up for the failures in my life. My father told me that he didn't want to see me waste myself on taking care of him and urged me to take an apartment of my own. He wanted me to meet a young man and settle down. Since I was an only child he counted on me for grandchildren. I suppose this was another failure on my part since I was never able to produce any.
“In time my father stopped urging me to seek my own life and we had a nice enough life together. As a retired civil service employee he had a check coming in each month so we didn't have to worry about finances. It wasn't enough to live a life of luxury, of course, but retirement benefits took care of our needs.
“I was twenty-nine when my father died. Suddenly I was left alone in the world and didn't know where to turn. For one thing money became a problem. With my father dead there were no more retirement checks and he only left a few thousand in the bank. I considered going back to teaching but, at the last minute, I decided to sell the house instead to raise cash. After I collected close to thirty thousand on it I moved into a small apartment in a high-rise. I didn't have enough to live on for the rest of my life, naturally, but at least I didn't have to worry about finances for awhile.
“I had time on my hands and felt like an old lady at twenty-nine. With my father gone I no longer had a man in my life and I suddenly realized how lonely I was. Although I had a very nice apartment I dreaded going back to it at night. Just to hear another human voice I switched on the radio or the television set. I wanted to have a cat or dog but my lease forbade having animals in the building. And so, out of a feeling of unendurable loneliness, I forced myself out into the social stream again.
“Not far from my building were those 'single bars' where unmarried men and women got together. New York is filled with career girls in their twenties and thirties who have no other way to meet men. I didn't have a career but I certainly was single so I dropped around to one of them.
“It was early in the evening so there were more men in the bar then women. Females like to arrive late at places to make an entrance and to pretend that they weren't anxious for companionship. Since I had been out of the social swim for so long I had forgotten about these little ploys and the men stared at me when I went up to the bar and ordered a drink.
“I had picked a spot between two men about my age and felt their eyes on me. I knew that it would be only a matter of time before one of them would start a conversation. As you can see I'm not exactly a beauty but, in that bar at that time, I was someone to be competed for.
“The fellow on my right was the first to start a conversation. His name was Alan and he claimed he was an engineer. I say 'claimed' because strangers at bars usually lied about themselves. I lied, too, and said I was a free-lance writer. This sounded fashionable and also served to explain what I was doing at a bar so early. As one without regular hours time was my own.
“Alan bought me a couple of drinks and my inhibitions began to vanish. I started placing my hand on his legs and this gave him the idea I could be had for the asking. Well, maybe he was right. At my age I was more than ripe for love.
“Before I knew it I was out on the street with my pick-up. Alan led me to a cheap rooming house and we walked up four flights of stairs. For an 'engineer' he wasn't doing too well.
“I was pretty drunk because I wasn't used to alcohol. I let Alan lead me into his single room and I fell across the bed. My head swam and I felt his hands slip up under my dress. 'Don't-' I said weakly but he wasn't going to be stopped now.
“Alan licked my legs and sucked hickey marks on them. Sexual arousal made my nipples react and my vagina warmed quickly. I threw my arms against the mattress and let the man have his way with me. He stripped off the rest of my clothes and my body tingled under his leering gaze. 'You've got a cute little cunt,' he told me and began to take off his own clothes.
“He had a great body, I had to say that much for him. His penis was fully erected and I couldn't keep my eyes off it. I was much too shy to say something like: 'You've got a handsome big cock.'
“Alan placed his body on top of mine and he rammed his fleshy rod in between my legs. He wasn't wasting any time and I gasped as he thrust his meat back and forth. Alan was a rough lover who would make an experienced woman uneasy let alone a virgin.
“'Man, you're tight!' Alan exclaimed when he rammed into me.
“At first I thought he meant that I was drunk but I realized he was talking about my taut vagina. No doubt he figured that a woman my age had to have had a great number of men to loosen up her sexual slit. He kept pumping his large male organ into me despite my tightness and then released his come.
“He sighed heavily and pressed his weight down hard against my naked body. When he rolled off my flesh he could see why my cleft had been so narrow. 'You mean I busted you?' he asked with a boastful smile. 'Shit, and I thought you were a swinger!'
“It became increasingly obvious to me that Alan was just another handsome, virile nobody who cruised the singles bars in search of willing girls. I had no romantic illusions about him and marriage was out of the question. To him I was just something to pass the time with.
“I went back to the same bar the next day in hopes of meeting Alan but he was already pawing a new girl who was much younger and prettier than I was. For someone who had had intimate relations with me he acted as if I were a complete stranger and didn't even nod in my direction when I caught his eyes. I felt like the woman scorned.
“Another man at the bar offered to buy me a drink and I accepted. Once more I got loaded and wound up in a cheap room naked with a strange man. This began a brief fling at nymphomania and I gained a reputation at the singles bar as a 'sure lay'.
“I didn't mind giving men my body but I drew the line when they expected me to give them money. Since it became clear to the bar flies that I wasn't really a writer they all figured that I was some kind of heiress. While it was true I had a nice bundle of money in the bank it wasn't a fortune and it was all I had. The guys thought I was actually a millionairess who was being kept in check by lawyers who gave me just enough to live on each month. I didn't try to discourage this rumor since it gave me a touch of mystery. Of course, with the handsome studs thinking I was rich, it also gave me a lot of headaches. I became the target for con men.
“Martin was a clever one. He wasn't as obvious as the rest and pretended to love me for myself. I was so anxious to find a man and settle down that I told myself I was in love with him. Martin said he was an investment consular and it wasn't long before he had his hands on my thirty thousand. He seemed disappointed that it was all the money I had and that I wasn't a millionairess after all but he managed to put up a brave front… and disappear with just about every cent I had in the world.
“When I finally went to the police about Martin I found out that he was wanted in half the states in the union for bilking women out of their savings. Martin was never caught and I'm sure he's still busy making women fall in love with him.
“I was so disgusted with myself for being such a fool with men that I decided to give up sex. It was nice but I couldn't afford it. I had to find some kind of work to support myself so I went back into education not as a teacher but a staff worker in a nearby college. That's where I met Thomas.
“The first thing that impressed me about Thomas was his gray hair. He wasn't a young phony like the ones I used to find in bars. Thomas was a hard worker who didn't chase everything in skirts and I felt safe with him. When he asked me for dinner one night I accepted right away.