Esther kept thinking of Dr. Hollander’s fingers.
“No, I don’t.”
“You don’t seem to remember a lot of things.”
“I told you,” she said, her voice rising a little in panic, “you can’t remember with the drug so well.”
“Do you remember saying, ‘…I can’t remember what I’m supposed to say’?”
Esther shook her head. She concentrated on the fingers. Soothing, relaxing. Don’t panic.
“Or ‘Wait a minute. How many times have I lied to you about this…?’ Do you remember that?”
“No,” Esther said. As soon as the word was out of her mouth she realized that she had said it a little too loudly. She had to get hold on herself.
“How many times did you lie to Dr. Hollander?”
“I didn’t.”
“How many times have you lied…?”
Mark stopped. He looked at Esther’s hands. The right was stroking the left wrist rhythmically.
“Mrs. Pegalosi, what are you doing with your hands?”
She stopped stroking abruptly. The jurors’ eyes were on her wrist.
“Nothing,” she replied guiltily.
“I saw you stroke your wrist. Are you trying to hypnotize yourself? Your Honor, I ask the Court to instruct the witness that she may not hypnotize herself during cross-examination.”
Heider was on his feet.
“This is ridiculous. What is Mr. Shaeffer…?”
Judge Samuels rapped his gavel for order.
“Both of you gentlemen, sit down. We will take a short recess.”
The bailiff took the jurors to the jury room and the judge waited until the door was closed. Then he turned his attention to Mark.
“Now, what is your problem, Mr. Shaeffer?”
“The witness was constantly stroking her wrist during my examination, Your Honor. That is how she hypnotizes herself. It was on the tapes.”
Samuels leaned back in his chair and seemed thoughtful. He swiveled toward Esther.
“Mrs. Pegalosi, I don’t want you to be afraid, but I do want a straight answer. Were you attempting to hypnotize yourself, just now, while Mr. Shaeffer was questioning you?”
Esther looked down into her lap.
“I…Yes.”
“You can not do that. Do you understand? If you were under medication or intoxicated, I could not have you testify. You must be fully alert. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” she said so quietly that the judge had to ask her to repeat her answer.
“You will not try to hypnotize yourself again, do you understand that?”
“Yes.”
“Very well. Bailiff, bring back the jury.”
“Mrs. Pegalosi, why do you think you were unable to remember that you saw the murder of Richie Walters for all these years?”
“I…Dr. Hollander told me seeing the body…The face…like that, you know…I couldn’t take it. It made me too scared. Plus I was drinking…” She shrugged her shoulders. “That’s what he said.”
“Well, that’s understandable,” Mark said, smiling. “I would be pretty scared, too, to see all that violence. Tell me, was this the first time you ever saw any violence, Mrs. Pegalosi?”
“No,” she said in a low, trembling voice.
“In fact, you have seen quite a bit of violence in your life, haven’t you?”
“I…I wouldn’t say a lot, I’ve…”
“Now don’t be modest. Tell the jury about the boy you stabbed with a knife. Andy Trask.”
“I wasn’t convicted of that.”
“I didn’t say you were. But you were arrested and put in juvenile detention, weren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And that wasn’t the first time, was it?”
“No.”
“You have been in detention as a runaway and for assault of Andy Trask and for robbery, isn’t that correct?”
“Yes.”
“And you did stab Andy Trask, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And you remember that in detail, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Do you remember seeing your father beat your mother?”
She started crying. Mark repeated the question and Heider leaped to his feet.
“Your Honor, counsel is browbeating the witness. This is all irrelevant.”
“It is very relevant, Your Honor. Mrs. Pegalosi comes in here and says suddenly after all this time she remembers that this young man is a murderer. Then she says she forgot because she was so scared by the violence. I am entitled to show that she is no stranger to violence. That she remembers incidents of violence very clearly.”
“I agree with Mr. Shaeffer and I will overrule the objection. On the other hand, I will not let you harangue this witness.”
“Your Honor, I didn’t start this crying. If her conscience…”
“You have heard what I said, Mr. Shaeffer.”
“Yes, Your Honor.
“Mrs. Pegalosi, did you ever see your father stab your mother?”
“Yes.”
“Tell the jury what you remember of that incident.”
Esther dried her eyes with a handkerchief.
“I was sleeping and I heard yelling from momma…my mother’s room. He was drunk again and the door slammed open and I could hear her running to the kitchen and he was cursing.”
“Go on.”
“Momma had a kitchen knife and said she would stab him if he came near her, but he backed her against the refrigerator and got the knife.”
“I am having trouble hearing you, Mrs. Pegalosi,” Mark said.
Esther sipped some more water.
“That was all. He stabbed her and there was blood on the white refrigerator and momma fell and he dropped the knife and said ‘What have I done?’ and walked out.”
“And you remember that?” Mark asked in a hushed tone.
“Yes,” Esther replied and there was no other sound in the courtroom.
“And you remember a man named Bones robbing the miniature golf and racing the police when you were with him?”
“Yes.”
“In detail?”
“Yes.”
“And you testified on direct that you were not scared initially when Bobby and Billy and Richie Walters were fighting, because you had seen other fights. Have you seen fights where blood was spilled?”
“Yes.”
“And could you recount those fights, in detail, to this jury, if I asked you?”
“Some of them.”
“Even those where there was blood?”
“Some of them.”
Mark paused. He could hear the sound of his own heartbeat in the courtroom. He could see the eyes of the jurors riveted on Esther. He could see her face clearly, drained of color, her cheeks streaked with tears.
“You once owned a pet dog, did you not?” he asked quietly.
“Oh, no,” Esther moaned.
“I ask the court to direct the witness to answer the question.”
“Mrs. Pegalosi, you must answer.”
“Yes,” the answer came in a choked whisper.
“Did you love that dog?”
“Yes,” she sobbed.
“Tell the jury how that dog died.”
Esther paled.
“Mrs. Pegalosi,” Mark said.
“I…I can’t,” she said, looking up at the judge. Samuels instructed her to answer.
“My…my father shot the dog.”
“In the eye?”
Esther was crying and could only nod.
“And you remember that in detail, do you not?”
“Yes.”
“And you loved the dog, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Yet you can remember that.”
“Your Honor,” Heider shouted.
“Sit down, Mr. Heider. This is appropriate cross.” The judge turned to Shaeffer. It was clear that he was restraining himself. “Do you intend to pursue this line of questioning much further, Mr. Shaeffer?”
“No, Your Honor. I believe the point has been made.”
Esther was doubled over in the witness box. Someone had given her a handkerchief. The judge ordered a ten-minute recess.
“Mrs. Pegalosi,” Mark asked when court resumed, “is it your testimony that you actually saw Richie Walters’s battered face shortly after he was murdered?”
“Yes,” Esther replied. Her voice was a monotone. She had cried so hard and so long that she had nothing left inside. She knew that court would recess soon and she was just going through the motions until it was over.