Snape gave her his best death glare тАУ "boys" indeed! тАУ but followed Potter to the washrooms at the far end of the wing.
Once their ablutions had been satisfactorily concluded, the medi-witch escorted them to a private meeting room near the Headmaster's office. Entering the room, Snape found quite a crowd assembled around a long conference table.
Fudge was there with Bones, Skeeter, and, predictably, Lucius Malfoy. McGonagall and the Headmaster flanked a still-pale Poppy. A blaze of red caught Snape's eye and he turned to find Arthur and Molly Weasley, the latter holding Ron on her lap. Next to them sat two unfamiliar adults, at whom Ron kept darting nervous glances. From the fact that they were hovering solicitously over Hermione, Snape deduced these were the Doctors Granger.
"Auntie Molly! Uncle Arthur!" Harry chirped happily from his side, then darted away as Arthur opened his arms wide.
Harry was hugged breathless by his honorary uncle, whose embrace effectively ended his worry that the Weasleys would blame him for Ron's injury. "Oh, Harry!" The instant Arthur released him, Molly wrapped him in one arm, keeping Ron enfolded in the other. "Are you all right?"
"Yes'm," Harry answered, once he had managed to get his breath back. Ron grinned at him, a bit shamefaced at being found cuddled on his mum's lap. Harry grinned back, but decided that if Ron hadn't witnessed him lying like a toddler on top of his guardian, he wasn't about to say anything.
"Harry, come meet my parents," Hermione called excitedly. "Mum, Dad, this is my friend Harry and his faтАУ uh тАУ guardian, Professor Snape."
"How do you do?" Snape had to admit the Muggles had excellent manners, and he wondered why the Weasley boy seemed so anxious around them. Ah well, who could understand the minds of children?
"Good morning," Dumbledore twinkled at the final arrivals. "The elves have kindly laid out breakfast at the back wall, if you'd like to help yourselves. Then perhaps we can get started. I'm sure we are all interested in determining exactly what happened here yesterday."
Harry instantly focused on the tables at the back of the room. "Ooooh, pastries!" he squeaked and made a beeline for the sugary treats.
Snape followed in hot pursuit and stopped the little brat before he had helped himself to a plateful of unhealthy items. "What have I told you about your eating habits, Mr Potter?" he asked, his voice dangerously quiet.
"But I fought Voldesnort!" Harry whined. "Don't I get a treat for that?"
"Only after you have consumed a healthy breakfast." Snape filled the boy's plate with fruit, eggs, toast, and a grilled tomato. At Harry's glum expression, he relented slightly. "You may choose one pastry, but if I see you eating it before you have cleaned the rest of your plate тАУ"
"I won't!" Harry beamed, immediately choosing the biggest, gooiest item with the most sugary icing.
As Harry carried his plate back to the table, he was surprised to see nothing but healthy fruit on Ron's plate. He would have expected the redhead to have piled on the sweets since it seemed unlikely that his parents would deny him anything today. Both kept stroking his hair or hugging him. Ron appeared simultaneously embarrassed and delighted by their behavior тАУ after eleven years of being overshadowed by the twins or Ginny, not to mention the rest of his brothers, he was for once basking in his parents' undivided attention.
As an only child, Hermione was more accustomed to her parents' focus being on her, but the Grangers, while obviously affectionate with their daughter, didn't seem to be feeling the same frantic relief as the Weasleys. It was hardly surprising, of course. As Muggles, they couldn't really understand what the children had faced down the previous day, while the Weasleys were all too cognizant of what might have happened.
There were two chairs between the Grangers and the Weasleys, and Snape steered Harry towards them. Once they were settled, Albus beamed.
"And here we are, all together, safe and sound. We should give thanks for -"
"Yes, yes, thank Merlin and all that," Fudge interrupted testily. "But what I want to know is what happened? All these rumors of Dark Lords and murdered professors and vampires and killer squashes are going to cause a panic soon!"
Harry looked at his guardian. Vampires?
Snape sniffed and rolled his eyes. Fudge was such an idiot. He kept his attention on his own plate.
"Yes, of course, Cornelius, and that is why we have invited you and Madame Bones. Lucius is here as a representative of the Board of Governors, and Ms Skeeter will ensure that an accurate тАУ" he gave the reporter a sharp glance and she looked sulky but nodded "- account is made available to the public."
Albus turned politely to Harry. "Harry, my boy? Perhaps you would be so kind as to begin the tale? Your friends suggested it was your story to tell."
Suddenly Harry wasn't so hungry anymore. He put down his fork and gave worried glances at his friends. Were they mad at him? But both Hermione and Ron shot him encouraging looks, so he took a deep breath and tried to figure out how to explain things so as to avoid getting anyone into trouble. He knew it was an all but impossible task, but at the very least he wanted to avoid landing Ron and Hermione in the suds with him.
"Harry?" Dumbledore prompted.
Harry sighed and gave Professor Snape a guarded look from beneath his fringe. He had a pretty good idea that his professor wouldn't be fooled by any evasions, but he was going to give it a try anyway.
"Erm, well, we were in Charms when Hermione тАУ ah тАУ told Professor Flitwick that she wasn't feelin' well, and so тАУ"
"You were sick, Hermione?" Hermione's father interrupted, looking at his daughter with concern.
Hermione reddened as all eyes turned to her, and she gave her mother an anguished look. "MumтАж"
"Hm? Ah!" Mrs Granger understood the silent Teen Girl Speak and nodded to her husband. "It's all right."
"Oh? Oh! Right." Mr Granger quickly dropped the subject.
"Uh, yeah," Harry felt guilty for embarrassing the girl like that, but he hadn't really seen any way around it. From the glare Hermione was shooting Ron, it was the redhead she was blaming for the original suggestion. "So anyway, once class was over, me 'n' Ron got permission to bring her books to her, an' when we got to the Infirmary, Hermione was there, waiting for Madame Pomfrey тАУ"
"Oh, dear!" the medi-witch exclaimed. "I must have just missed you when I went to Hagrid's. I'm so sorry, dear, but why didn't you use the magic bell to let me know you were waiting? I would have returned at once! Didn't you see it on my desk, with the little sign explaining how to use it?"
"ErmтАжY-yes, but it wasn't anything very urgent, Madame, and I didn't want to trouble you if you were taking care of someone who was really ill," Hermione lied uncomfortably.
"So, when we got there, I тАУ ummm тАУ I said I'd go look to see if Madame was down behind the privacy screens. Hermione hadn't wanted to peek, and I saw Professor Quirrell was there." Harry tried to think how best to tell this next part. "And тАУ and then Ron thought he'd, erm, play a trick on Hermione and so he тАУ ah тАУ yelled that there was a troll coming, and I guess Professor Quirrell heard him so he jumped up and тАУ"
"Wait." The icy word, coming from the adjacent chair, made Harry wince. Quailing, he turned to his professor.
"Y'sir?" he asked hesitantly.
"You are omitting a key part of the story, Mr Potter. Perhaps you can explain why Professor Quirrell's turban was found Stuck to his bedding?" Snape's snapping eyes informed Harry that he hadn't been fooled one iota by the carefully crafted story.