Harry gulped. Right. He never did get around to canceling that hex, did he? "Ah, wellтАж"
"What difference does that idiot's headwear make?" Lucius snapped. "What I want to know is where He Who Must Not Be Named came from!"
Albus gave Harry a disconcertingly knowing glance. "I suspect the two things are related, Lucius. You see, when I examined the late professor's turban, I discovered that it contained layer upon layer of shielding charms. It was being used to hide something very powerful and very Dark."
Lucius frowned, trying to work it out, while Fudge looked blank, Bones blanched, and Skeeter whispered excitedly to her automatic quill.
"ErтАж" Harry gave up. He was going to have to admit at least part of the plan. "Well, I might have, erm, hexed his turban while he slept," he confessed, his gaze firmly on the table top. He heard Snape's furious inhalation and cringed, waiting for the scolding of his life.
Before his professor could speak, however, the voice of the Headmaster was heard. "But why, Harry? You have never before shown much interest in either pranks or Professor Quirrell. Playing a trick upon an ill professor is quite unlike you, my boy."
Harry blushed bright red. He had never thought of it like that, but if Quirrell had been just a weird and smelly teacher, his action in scaring the poor man while he lay in his sickbed would have been a truly despicable act. "I тАУ I тАУ umтАж" He glanced pleadingly up at his guardian. "I just knew something was wrong."
"Boy Who Lived Blessed With Second Sight," Skeeter sighed rapturously. "Detects Dark Lord Despite Shielding Wards!"
Snape gritted his teeth. Leave it to that interfering woman to get it wrong. But he was uncomfortably aware that Harry must have picked up on his loathing for Quirrell and тАУ given the boy's nature тАУ decided to "help". Who would have guessed that children could be so perceptive? Vowing to do a better job of hiding his own opinions, Snape glowered at the brat. "We will discuss this later, you and I," he promised chillingly.
Harry drooped. Well, at least his professor wasn't demanding answers right there in front of everyone or taking away his flying privileges while the reporter lady took notes.
"Please continue, Harry. We will assume that you had some sense that all was not as it seemed." Albus nodded at him.
"Um, okay, so anyway, when Professor Quirrell got up so fast, his turban was pulled off, an' тАУ an' there was a second face sticking out the back of his head," Harry quavered sickly. The memory of that awful sight was still too fresh.
Fudge's jaw dropped, and Lucius' eyebrows soared to his hairline. Amelia Bones lost her monocle. Minerva choked and Albus looked very, very grim. The Weasleys were both hugging Ron, their faces pale, while the Grangers, despite their quite obvious confusion, picked up on the atmosphere in the room and grasped Hermione's hands tightly.
Harry glanced nervously up at Professor Snape. The man's face was a severe mask, as always, so it was a surprise when his strong arms reached out and pulled Harry onto his lap.
After the initial shock тАУ and the relief that he wasn't being pulled across the man's lap for a public walloping тАУ Harry relaxed and leaned back against his professor's chest. He was surprised to feel the man's heart hammering away. Could his professor actually be worried or upset?
"Pr'fessor?" he asked, wide eyed.
"Foolish child!" Snape snapped automatically, tightening his grasp around Harry until it rivaled the Weasleys' hold on Ron. In all his worst imaginings, he had never, ever thought of this. Possession? Partial corporeal manifestation? No wonder the boy's scar had prickled whenever Quirrell had walked by! And what immense power it must have taken to maintain the two souls in one body тАУ to say nothing of shielding the Dark Lord's aura from the school's wards.
Poppy shuddered. "Now I understand why his body was consuming itself. To think that тАУ that abomination was working here, walking the halls, teaching the children!" She wrapped her arms around herself, as if suddenly chilled, and Minerva placed a comforting arm about her shoulders. "He wouldn't let me touch his turban, but I just assumed it was some fetish or that he was going bald!" Poppy wailed. "I never guessed..."
"There, there, Poppy," McGonagall soothed. "It's just as well you don't remember anything."
Poppy shook her head. "Not a thing from the moment I left Hagrid's hut until I woke up with the St Mungo's staff around my bed," she explained, sniffling, to the others.
"It тАУ it was pretty awful," Hermione spoke up. "We had all just seen V-Voldemort, and Madame Pomfrey, that's when you walked in with a big pumpkin that you said Hagrid had sent to Professor Quirrell."
"Ah, Hagrid тАУ always so thoughtful," Dumbledore said fondly, oblivious to the impatient glare Lucius sent his way.
"Yeah, Madame тАУ you were sayin' something to the professor as you came in the door, and your hands were full, and as soon as he saw you, he тАУ well, they тАУ cast a spell at you," Ron explained. "Blimey! It was this awful black light coming straight at you!"
"He said 'Duro'," Hermione put in, and Poppy turned grey.
"He was trying to kill me then," Pomfrey whispered, half to herself. "I didn't really believe itтАж"
Snape huffed. Na├пve nitwit. Voldemort was a Dark Lord. Did she really think someone earned that title by just being unpunctual or inconsiderate? Dear Association of Dark Lords, I would like to apply for membership. Please advise as to your entry criteria. Do you actually need to murder scores of people, or can you just use a really nasty stinging hex on them? Is 'Crucio' an absolute requirement, or could I get by with insulting someone's parentage and telling them that their taste in clothes leaves much to be desired? I also make a point of picking out the good Bott's beans and leaving all the bogey- and vomit-flavored ones for other people. I have invented a curse that gives someone several painful paper cuts тАУ do I get credit for that?
"Yeah, it was a good thing you were holdin' that pumpkin," Ron chimed in. "The curse hit that and turned it to stone, but the power of the curse was still strong enough to knock you flying. You smashed some chairs an' everything."
"And then Quirrell said some nasty things to us, and Voldemort тАУ" Hermione ignored how most in the room flinched at the name "- was talking to Harry, and Harry said something that made him really angry."
Now all eyes were back to Harry. "I тАУ er тАУ I тАУ " he stammered to a halt, embarrassed.
An awful suspicion blossomed in Snape's mind, and he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand. "You called him Lord Vol-au-vent, didn't you?" he asked resignedly.
Lucius audibly choked, while Bones fought back a grin.
"Er, yeah," Harry admitted.
Fudge seemed torn between horror and reluctant admiration, while Skeeter was actually squirming in her chair with glee. "Harry Potter Refers to Dark Lord as Flaky Pastry. Hero of the Light Sneers in the Face of Death."
Albus' eyes were madly twinkling. "And then?"
Hermione spoke up before Harry could. "Ron was ever so brave!" she exclaimed. "While You Know Who was distracted, he tried to fight him."
Molly whimpered and clutched Ron tighter.
"But Quirrell threw him against the ceiling and then let him fall. That's how he got hurt," Hermione finished, sending Ron a look that left him blushing. The redhead could be a bit of a prat sometimes, she thought, but he really was a true Gryffindor.