My Da has to be mean in class so we don't do stupid stuff and melt our cauldrons, because that would be really dangerous. It's not like in Charms or Herbology where nothing really bad can happen even if you mess about. Potions are really cool and blow up if you do even the tiniest thing wrong. My Da lets me help prepare his potion ingredients. That is really cool. All the kids are jealous of me and keep pestering me to let them come and help too. It is fun to see all the slimy, smelly stuff and get to squish them and chop things up. My Da doesn't let us fool around though. Even though it is really fun to squirt bubotuber pus at each other, he told Ron and Draco and me that if we did it again, we wouldn't be able to sit down in class the next day. He says stuff like that and people get really scared because they think he means it, but he really doesn't. He just doesn't want us to act like dunderheads.
He is always thinking about me and he likes me. He thinks I'm really smart, and he expects me to act like it. That's why he sometimes gets mad when I do something stupid. No one before ever told me I was smart. But my Da says I am. He says I'm TOO smart sometimes, but you can tell he actually thinks that's a good thing. He helps me with my homework and he won't let me skive off the way a lot of kids do. He can always tell if I'm not doing my best, and then I get in trouble. He can say stuff to me that makes me feel like I'm about two inches tall, but even then he also says nice stuff like how I'm too smart to act so dumb. So even when he's angry with me, he still tells me I'm smart and all. He never calls me bad names, or says that I'm useless or that he wishes I was dead the way my aunt and uncle used to. And he won't let me call myself names like freak. If I forget, he goes all mental and he'll even whack me for it. He really hates my relatives for what they used to do to me. I hate them too.
My Da is always nice to me and to my friends too. He lets us study in his House or in my room and he's always really patient about letting me ask him questions, even though a lot of my questions are dumb because I'm not used to the Wizarding World yet. He doesn't make fun of me though, no matter what I ask. Sometimes the other kids laugh at me for stuff I don't know, but my Da never does. He just sits down and explains. He's never ever said he wishes he hadn't agreed to be my da.
I like the other teachers here too тАУ now that Quirrel is gone тАУ but none of them are as nice as my Da. He gave me a really great room and filled it with all sorts of great toys and books and stuff. I almost wish I could bring Dudley here, just once, to show him how great my room is. He would be really jealous! My Da also got me the best broom ever and let me play on the Quidditch team even after I was bad. He bought me new clothes and incendio'd all of Dudley's old ones so I don't look funny and the other kids don't laugh at me like they did at my old school. He buys me so many presents, almost as many as Dudley got, but Dudley got prezzies because he yelled and screamed if he didn't. My Da gets me presents to show me that I did something right and because he loves me.
My Da doesn't even get mad when I ask him to say that. A lot of guys won't you know, but my Da says it right out. My Da doesn't like it when I talk about how good he is. He would rather be nonymous and not let people know how great he is. I think it's because he gets embarrassed easily.
My Da is really gentle too. Even when he is smacking me, he never hits really hard, and he doesn't yank me around or grab me by the hair or anything like that. I almost never get swatted though. My dad mostly just scolds me or takes away my broom or puts me on restriction or has me write an essay or lines. I think the scolding is the worst. He always knows what to say to make me realize that what I did was wrong and then I feel really stupid and I start to cry like I was three or something. It's funny because I never was allowed to cry when I lived with the Dursleys, so I just stopped. But my Da doesn't mind if I cry and so I started again. But even though I sometimes get snot and stuff all over him, he doesn't get mad. He never tells me I'm being a baby or makes fun of me or hits me until I stop crying. He just gives me a hug or pats my shoulder or something until I stop on my own. He never just leaves me alone when I'm crying, even if I've done something really bad.
He isn't all girlie though тАУ he pulls me up and gives me little pushes and he swats me sometimes, but the way guys do to be friendly and all, not to hurt. He's really careful about that. Even when he's mad and gives me a smack for real, I know it's coming. He never sneaks up on me or pretends he's not angry if he is. My Da always tells me the truth, even if sometimes it's scary. My Da trusts me. He tells me stuff that most other adults wouldn't tell kids. He knows I can keep a secret and that I won't tell anyone ever, even if they pull out my fingernails or something. He treats me like a grown up тАУ well, sort of. I mean, he doesn't tell me EVERYTHING тАУ and he gets mad when Padfoot does тАУ but he doesn't act like I'm four years old either and don't know the difference between really important things and stuff that doesn't matter. He trusts me to do what he tells me. And I trust him. I know he's smart and he's going to take care of me and keep me safe. I know that he's not going to hit me or be mean to me. I trust my Da. He makes me feel safe.
Sometimes when I want to do one thing and he says no, I get mad. But he's usually right. And usually I remember that and I do what he tells me. But even if I forget, he doesn't hate me. He just explains what I did wrong (and then he punishes me) and then it's all over. It's sometimes hard for me to remember to listen to him, but I'm getting better. And if I ask him why he is saying no, most of the time he'll tell me, and then I see his point. Sometimes I still think he's wrong, but by then he's usually distracted me with something else, and I forget what I wanted to do. Like I said, my Da is pretty sneaky! Even for a Slytherin!
When I grow up, I want to be like my Da. I want to be brave and strong like him. I want to help people like he does. I want to be smart and know practically everything like he does, and I want other people to respect me like they do him. And when I have kids, I'm going to treat them like he treats me, like they matter and are important and all. Uncle Arthur once told me that I didn't really understand what dads are like. I thought dads either just smacked you for being bad, like Uncle Vernon used to do to me, or they got you lots of presents and treats and stuff, like Uncle Vernon does for Dudley. Now I know what a good dad is though, because my Da has showed me.
It took me a long time to believe that my Da loves me. I didn't think kids could really be loved by anyone but their own parents, so I figured that since mine are dead, no one would ever love me. But my Da showed me that I was wrong. He loves me, and he makes sure I know it. He says he loves me, but he also shows that he loves me. He shows me every day. I am a really lucky kid.
I love my Da.
Dear Da, I didn't know what to get you for Christmas so I asked Professor McGonagall. She told me to write this essay. I don't know why because you already have lots and lots of essays to read. I thought at first you might like some potion ingredients instead, but she said that you'd like this a lot more. I couldn't let anyone else read it because there's some stuff in it about Padfoot and all, so I didn't get to ask her if I did it right. I hope you like it but if you don't I can still go and get you some potion ingredients if you'd rather have that. Love, Harry.