"That could not have ended well."
"No. A total of sixty points was subtracted from my House, and Mr Weasley received a week of detention with Mr Filch. I suspect that That Woman suggested to Argus that he might reprise a few of the older punishments, but I intervened and Mr Weasely is serving his detention with me. Harry received an extra essay for his effrontery in contradicting That Woman, and Hermione тАУ " Minerva paused dramatically "- received a zero for the day, and half-off all her scores for the entire week."
Snape nearly dropped his teacup. "For asking a question?" He could only imagine the girl's reaction to having her marks lowered so capriciously. Even he had never done anything that vicious. "Was she distraught?"
"I rather expected her to be," Minerva admitted, "but it appears your Miss Jones has had quite the influence on her. Miss Granger decided to get angry instead."
"Hmmm." Snape forbore mentioning that Davidella Jones would not only get angry; she'd also get even. No point in alerting McGonagall to something she might feel compelled to prevent. If Hermione Granger chose to turn her impressive intellect to exacting revenge upon the Pink Toad, Severus Snape had no intention of getting in her way.
"What are we going to do, Severus? In addition to everything else, she really is a horrendous teacher. Even Quirrel was better at communicating basic Defense concepts."
Snape glared at his tea, but was compelled to answer, "We must wait. Surely she will overreach herself, and then we will be able to remove her. But for nowтАж we wait."
McGonagall sighed. She knew intellectually that Snape was right, but her protective streak had been roused, and though her animagus form was a mere tabby cat, her devotion to her students was truly leonine. Her instincts called for bloody revenge, but if even a former Death Eater was urging patienceтАж She sighed again and forced her usual stern demeanor to assert itself. She was the Deputy Headmistress, after all. It was unseemly for her to be having fantasies about staking Umbrige out for the Acromantulas. Just because That Woman was interfering with the scholastic career of untold numbers of students, making a travesty of the teaching professionтАж Minerva ruthlessly squelched that line of thought. Wait and watch. That's what she had to do. She imagined her feline form sitting beside a mouse hole, waiting for a pink, toadlike mouse to emerge, and that mental image soothed her sufficiently to allow her to take her leave.
It only took another two weeks for the crisis to unfold.
It began as Harry and his friends were unhappily heading to their DADA class. "I hate this class even more this term тАУ an' last term Voldesnort used to make my scar hurt!" Harry complained.
"Oi, you clumsy oaf! Watch it!" Draco abruptly yelled at Vince as the larger boy accidentally trod upon the hem of his robe.
"Oops," Vince said sheepishly. "Sorry, Draco."
Hermione peered at the hem. "Oh no, it's ripped, Draco."
The others waited, expecting Pansy to swoop down with her usual shrieks and smothering attention, but to their surprise, the girl didn't appear. Draco looked around, half-relieved and half-offended. "Parkinson тАУ I've got a problem here!" he said rather huffily, spotting the dark haired girl standing off by herself.
Pansy shrugged listlessly. "I'm sure you can fix it," she said quietly, then ducked into the classroom before he could respond.
The other children stared after her. "What did you say to her?" Hermione demanded suspiciously. "Did you hurt her feelings again?"
"No!" Draco defended himself. "She's been acting weird for a few weeks now. She's all withdrawn and won't talk to anyone. It's been kinda nice actually, not having her around all the time, acting like we're practically married."
Hermione glanced worriedly after the girl, but then she was busy trying to repair Draco's hem with a half-learned spell, while the rest of the boys hurried into the classroom so as to avoid attracting the ire of Professor Umbitch, as Ron had christened her.
Hermione finally managed to fix it, but when they entered the room тАУ the last two to do so тАУ Professor Umbridge fixed her with a disapproving eye. "Well, well, Miss Granger, I see your prodigious intelligence has yet to learn the intricacies of telling time. Ten points from Gryffindor for your tardiness."
"She was helping me, Professor," Draco spoke up, his chin tilted arrogantly. "And the bell's not even rung yet."
"Oh, isn't that noble of you, Mr Malfoy?" the toadying little witch said admiringly. "Ten points to Slytherin for trying to protect an undeserving acquaintance."
Draco glared at her. Calling a Slytherin "noble" was hardly a compliment, but it was clear that even with his intervention, Hermione was not about to be let off without punishment. Although he was seething at his inability to force Umbridge's compliance, Draco gave Hermione a look that was as apologetic as a Malfoy could manage. The Gryffindor just shrugged wearily. She had expected no less from Umbridge.
"Today we shall have a quiz," Umbridge announced happily, and the class groaned aloud. "If you studied pages 160-190 of your text, I'm sure you will do very well indeed." She glanced around her desktop, her brows drawing together. "Where are my notes?"
At first the students paid little attention, as they were busy pulling parchment and quills from their own bags, but as Umbridge's searching became increasingly frantic, their attention was caught.
"My notes!" the toad was exclaiming shrilly, looking under her collection of china kittens and lace doilies. "Where are my notes?"
"Uh, Draco," Greg Goyle whispered loudly, "why doesn't she just use an accio?"
Draco rolled his eyes. Even the class lummox was smarter than Umbitch. "Because she's an тАУ"
Before he could finish the sentence, Professor Umbridge тАУ obviously inspired by Gregory's question тАУ shouted, "Accio Professor Umbridge's test notes!"
To everyone's astonishment, a scroll whisked out of Harry's bookbag and flew to the witch's outstretched hand. A moment of dead silence resulted, finally broken by Ron's whispering, "Good prank, mate, but maybe not one of your smartest."
Harry stared wildly at Ron, then at his bookbag, and then at the professor, who had a smile of immense satisfaction slowly spreading across her face. "Well, well, Mr Potter," she said softly. "Now we all see you revealed as a liar and a cheat."
"Professor!" Harry said, panicking, "I swear I didn't take your notes. I never saw them before in my life!"
"Yes. They just magically appeared in your bookbag," she smirked. "I wonder what the Headmaster will say about this. Your fame will not be able to shield you from a proper punishment this time."
Harry gulped. If there was one person at Hogwarts he truly feared, it was the Headmaster. The man had put him with the Dursleys once; who was to say he wouldn't do it again? While the old wizard always appeared pleasant and offered Harry a lolly whenever they met, Harry knew perfectly well that such behavior could mask a multitude of sins.
He must have heard Aunt Petunia tell Dudley, "Never take candy from strangers!" a million times, probably because she knew it would be a cold day in Hell when Dudley turned down a sweetie. Petunia had tried to convince Dudley of the dangers associated with candy-waving strangers with exceptionally graphic cautionary tales; these had the effect of convincing her nephew to avoid any and all strangers like the plague but did nothing to persuade her son. In the end, she resorted to bribes, promising Dudley that if he did as she instructed, she would give him twice as many lollies as the stranger had offered the instant he got home.