Minerva watched Harry's departure, then wasted no time marching to Remus' new quarters. She found him there, working on his lesson plans, and did not mince her words. "Young man, I am very disappointed in you!"
Remus blinked. What had he done now? He hadn't heard that tone from Minerva since she had accused him of complicity in James' and Sirius' graduation prank.
Happily, she wasn't waiting for him to respond and swept on. "What is wrong with you? Sitting there like a lump while chaos reigns around you! I expected better of my replacement тАУ temporary though you may be."
Light dawned. "Oh. You mean Harry and, ah, the pranks?"
"You are turning that boy into a prize brat, Remus, and I will not stand for it!"
"But Sirius doesn't really mind, and it's making Severus so happy тАУ " Remus protested.
McGonagall cut him off. " - And it is doubtless helping to assuage your conscience as well, but that is irrelevant. The three of you alleged adults are using an innocent child to work out your own grievances, and you are corrupting him in the process." She glared at him fiercely. "What do you imagine Lily would have to say if she knew that you were encouraging Harry to behave as badly as James at his worst? Hexing and ambushing someone like that?"
"Sirius doesn't really mind," Remus whined, then cringed at the lameness of his excuse.
"No, because he sees this as further proof that Harry is just like James, and how do you suppose it will make Harry feel when he realizes that? He will, you know. He's quite a clever child." Remus shifted uncomfortably. "And instead of helping Sirius to see the many differences between James and Harry and to come to appreciate Harry in his own right, you are encouraging this fantasy, because you feel that Sirius is finally getting punished a bit for making Severus so unhappy when you were all in school together and when you, as a prefect, should have stepped in but didn't. Allowing him to be pranked now does not make up for shirking your duty twenty years ago."
Remus was squirming in shame. "But тАУ"
McGonagall wasn't through with him yet. "And while I am disappointed in Severus as well, it would require superhuman restraint on his part not to enjoy seeing Sirius Black suffer a fraction of what he dished out. But we both know that if Harry is permitted to enjoy carte blanche in hexing adults, it will be a very easy step for him to start pranking his classmates and others when school resumes. How confusing do you think it will be for him if he is suddenly punished for doing what you have encouraged all summer long? You three have led him right to the top of this slippery slope and are poised to push him over the edge for the sake of your own demons. Is this how you are planning to carry out your duties as Head of House?"
"No, Professor," Remus said meekly, his face flaming.
"Then I expect you to handle this. I had high hopes that you would тАУ at last тАУ be a buffer between Severus and Sirius and enforce some peace between those two. Do not disappoint me again." She glared at him. "Go hex each other or punch each other or get drunk together or whatever it is that men do to sort things out, but I expect this nonsense to end. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Professor."
"Good." She swept out, managing just as dramatic an exit as if she had taken robe-swirling lessons from Snape. Behind her, Remus let out a long breath and mopped his forehead.
That evening, Harry managed тАУ barely тАУ not to nod off in the middle of dinner, but his da had to escort his stumbling feet down to the dungeons. "I dunno why I'm so tired," Harry protested, after yet another jaw-cracking yawn.
Snape rolled his eyes. Of course the brat hadn't realized the enormous amount of magic he'd expended in transfiguring Black into a puppy and then back again. It was a wonder the boy was still vertical, considering how much he must have depleted his core. There was a reason that the children slowly worked their way up from needles and matchsticks. Ah well, he was confident that Minerva would explain to the little miscreant. She'd been furious enough when she stumbled across the boy's activities earlier that day. "Go to sleep," he told Harry, helping tug the drowsy boy out of his robes. "You'll feel better in the morning."
" 'Kay," Harry mumbled, sleep rapidly overtaking him. " 'N' tell Pr'fessor McGonagall I went right to bed, 'kay? She тАУ" yawn "- told me I had t'go тАУ" yawn " тАУ straight to bed after dinner 's punishmentтАж"
Snape levered the brat into bed and covered him over with the duvet, noting that Harry was already slipping into the deep, restful breaths of early sleep. He huffed to himself. That was just like McGonagall тАУ assigning a punishment that was exactly what the little wretch was going to do anyway. Far be it from her to actually assign something onerous to the boy.
A few hours later, Harry became groggily aware of a knocking on their door, and he roused enough to recognize his godfather and Remus' voices before slipping back into slumber.
He was never sure exactly what happened among the three men that night, but the next day, his da sat him down тАУ in the presence of Moony and Padfoot тАУ and rather uncomfortably informed him that the prank war had officially ended. Sirius was still willing to let Harry practice spells on him, but it would be in the controlled context of a lesson. Sirius nodded agreement, then unexpectedly gave Harry a serious look. "You do know that I love you, right, pup? I mean, I love you. Not just because you're James' Pronglet. But because you're you. Harry."
Harry blushed. Where was all this mushiness coming from? "Yeah, I know, Padfoot," he mumbled, half-embarrassed by such naked sentiment and half-delighted that his godfather had come straight out and said it.
"And, you are obviously aware that your godfather and I are notтАж enemies," his da said awkwardly, looking anywhere but at the other wizards. "Though we might occasionally engage in, ah, disputes."
Harry nodded blankly. Well, sure, he knew that. Hadn't his da rescued his godfather from Izkibibble and all? And it's not like they'd really hurt each other yesterday for all their yelling and arguing. Actually, they were a lot like Ron and Draco in that regard.
"And as your soon-to-be Head of House, Mr Potter," Moony said, a smile taking away the sternness of his words, "I am here to tell you that you had best leave any further pranking to the Weasley twins, whom I understand are very talented in that regard, unless you want to join them in some highly disagreeable detentions."
Harry shook his head quickly. "I kinda figured that I wasn't allowed to do any more after what Auntie Min said yesterday."
Snape choked back his instinctive reaction to the witch's new title though he saw, out of the corner of his eye, that Black and Lupin were now gaping at Harry with slack jaws. "Yes, well, you were quite right," he managed to say calmly. "That was very perceptive."
Harry's eyes lit up. "Perceptive enough for a chocolate frog?" he asked craftily.
"Oh, all right," Snape grumbled, hiding his pleasure at the brat's Slytherin nature. He was not only gaining in insight, but he was also learning to equate cleverness with rewards.
Harry happily hurried to the kitchen before his da could change his mind. Merlin, but adults were weird! He'd always known that eventually his prank-fest would have to come to a close, and he was just glad it hadn't ended with his da being upset or with anyone expecting his da to smack him. Besides, he was going to keep being able to learn all the same cool stuff тАУ and to be honest, it wasn't really that much fun to prank Sirius.