Snape straightened up slowly and turned to look at her.
“Now… how long have you been teaching at Hogwarts?” she asked, her quill poised over her clipboard.
“Fourteen years,” Snape replied. His expression was unfathomable. Harry, watching him closely, added a few drops to his potion; it hissed menacingly and turned from turquoise to orange.
“You applied first for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post, I believe?” Professor Umbridge asked Snape.
“Yes,” said Snape quietly.
“But you were unsuccessful?”
Snape’s lip curled.
“Obviously.”
Professor Umbridge scribbled on her clipboard.
“And you have applied regularly for the Defence Against the Dark Arts post since you first joined the school, I believe?”
“Yes,” said Snape quietly, barely moving his lips. He looked very angry.
“Do you have any idea why Dumbledore has consistently refused to appoint you?” asked Umbridge.
“I suggest you ask him,” said Snape jerkily.
“Oh, I shall,” said Professor Umbridge, with a sweet smile.
“I suppose this is relevant?” Snape asked, his black eyes narrowed.
“Oh yes,” said Professor Umbridge, “yes, the Ministry wants a thorough understanding of teachers’—er—backgrounds.”
She turned away, walked over to Pansy Parkinson and began questioning her about the lessons. Snape looked round at Harry and their eyes met for a second. Harry hastily dropped his gaze to his potion, which was now congealing foully and giving off a strong smell of burned rubber.
“No marks again, then, Potter,” said Snape maliciously, emptying Harry’s cauldron with a wave of his wand. “You will write me an essay on the correct composition of this potion, indicating how and why you went wrong, to be handed in next lesson, do you understand?”
“Yes,” said Harry furiously. Snape had already given them homework and he had Quidditch practice this evening; this would mean another couple of sleepless nights. It did not seem possible that he had awoken that morning feeling very happy. All he felt now was a fervent desire for this day to end.
“Maybe I’ll skive off Divination,” he said glumly, as they stood in the courtyard after lunch, the wind whipping at the hems of robes and brims of hats. “I’ll pretend to be ill and do Snape’s essay instead, then I won’t have to stay up half the night.”
“You can’t skive off Divination,” said Hermione severely.
“Hark who’s talking, you walked out of Divination, you hate Trelawney!” said Ron indignantly.
“I don’t hate her,” said Hermione loftily. “I just think she’s an absolutely appalling teacher and a real old fraud. But Harry’s already missed History of Magic and I don’t think he ought to miss anything else today!”
There was too much truth in this to ignore, so half an hour later Harry took his seat in the hot, overperfumed atmosphere of the Divination classroom, feeling angry at everybody. Professor Trelawney was yet again handing out copies of The Dream Oracle. Harry thought he’d surely be much better employed doing Snape’s punishment essay than sitting here trying to find meaning in a lot of made-up dreams.
It seemed, however, that he was not the only person in Divination who was in a temper. Professor Trelawney slammed a copy of the Oracle down on the table between Harry and Ron and swept away, her lips pursed; she threw the next copy of the Oracle at Seamus and Dean, narrowly avoiding Seamus’s head, and thrust the final one into Neville’s chest with such force that he slipped off his pouffe.
“Well, carry on!” said Professor Trelawney loudly, her voice high-pitched and somewhat hysterical, “you know what to do! Or am I such a sub-standard teacher that you have never learned how to open a book?”
The class stared perplexedly at her, then at each other. Harry, however, thought he knew what was the matter. As Professor Trelawney flounced back to the high-backed teacher’s chair, her magnified eyes full of angry tears, he leaned his head closer to Ron’s and muttered, “I think she’s got the results of her inspection back.”
“Professor?” said Parvati Patil in a hushed voice (she and Lavender had always rather admired Professor Trelawney). “Professor, is there anything—er—wrong?”
“Wrong!” cried Professor Trelawney in a voice throbbing with emotion. “Certainly not! I have been insulted, certainly… insinuations have been made against me… unfounded accusations levelled… but no, there is nothing wrong, certainly not!”
She took a great shuddering breath and looked away from Parvati, angry tears spilling from under her glasses.
“I say nothing,” she choked, “of sixteen years of devoted service… it has passed, apparently, unnoticed… but I shall not be insulted, no, I shall not!”
“But, Professor, who’s insulting you?” asked Parvati timidly.
“The Establishment!” said Professor Trelawney, in a deep, dramatic, wavering voice. “Yes, those with eyes too clouded by the mundane to See as I See, to Know as I Know… of course, we Seers have always been feared, always persecuted… it is—alas—our fate.”
She gulped, dabbed at her wet cheeks with the end of her shawl, then she pulled a small embroidered handkerchief from her sleeve, and blew her nose very hard with a sound like Peeves blowing a raspberry.
Ron sniggered. Lavender shot him a disgusted look.
“Professor,” said Parvati, “do you mean… is it something Professor Umbridge—?”
“Do not speak to me about that woman!” cried Professor Trelawney, leaping to her feet, her beads rattling and her spectacles flashing. “Kindly continue with your work!”
And she spent the rest of the lesson striding among them, tears still leaking from behind her glasses, muttering what sounded like threats under her breath.
“…may well choose to leave… the indignity of it… on probation… we shall see… how she dares…”
“You and Umbridge have got something in common,” Harry told Hermione quietly when they met again in Defence Against the Dark Arts. “She obviously reckons Trelawney’s an old fraud, too… looks like she’s put her on probation.”
Umbridge entered the room as he spoke, wearing her black velvet bow and an expression of great smugness.
“Good afternoon, class.”
“Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge,” they chanted dully.
“Wands away, please.”
But there was no answering flurry of movement this time; nobody had bothered to take out their wands.
“Please turn to page thirty-four of Defensive Magical Theory and read the third chapter, entitled ‘The Case for Non-Offensive Responses to Magical Attack.’ There will be—”
“—no need to talk,” Harry, Ron and Hermione said together, under their breaths.
“No Quidditch practice,” said Angelina in hollow tones when Harry, Ron and Hermione entered the common room after dinner that night.
“But I kept my temper!” said Harry, horrified. “I didn’t say anything to her, Angelina, I swear, I—”
“I know, I know,” said Angelina miserably. “She just said she needed a bit of time to consider.”
“Consider what?” said Ron angrily. “She’s given the Slytherins permission, why not us?”
But Harry could imagine how much Umbridge was enjoying holding the threat of no Gryffindor Quidditch team over their heads and could easily understand why she would not want to relinquish that weapon over them too soon.
“Well,” said Hermione, “look on the bright side—at least now you’ll have time to do Snape’s essay!”
“That’s a bright side, is it?” snapped Harry, while Ron stared incredulously at Hermione. “No Quidditch practice, and extra Potions?”