“It's so funny,” he confessed, vaguely hearing the voice of Cary Grant somewhere in the distance. They had forgotten all about the popcorn and the movie. “I feel as though the baby is part of me now. I don't know … it brings back all kinds of familiar feelings and memories, all that excitement I felt before Adam and Tommy were born … I find myself thinking about buying a crib, helping you set up the room, being there when it's born, and then I have to remind myself to go slow …that it isn't mine …” he said regretfully. But he wanted it to be. Even though he had just made love to her for the first time, he wanted that very badly.
“I was so lost before you came along. I was so lonely.” She looked at him with serious eyes, worried about what he felt. “You really don't mind about the baby? I feel so fat and ugly sometimes.”
He chuckled softly in the bed they had made theirs. “That, my love, is going to get a lot worse before it gets better. You are going to blow up like a balloon, and I'm going to love it. You're going to be so big and cute, and we're going to have such a good time with the baby.”
“Silly.” She winced at the thought of becoming enormous. It was something she hadn't really thought about and almost dreaded. Her thighs already felt twice the size they had been two months before, and her breasts seemed huge compared to what they normally were. She was usually very small, and suddenly she was very full-busted. All the changes seemed so strange and foreign to her, and yet at the same time, she was excited about the baby. And she could hardly believe that he was too. It was a miracle beyond belief that she had found him.
“It seems poetic justice somehow,” he said, grinning as he sat up in bed and looked down at her, “that I should get involved with a woman who is four and a half months pregnant. I have been involved with more anorexic models and bulemic actresses than anyone deserves in one lifetime, and suddenly here I am with a woman I love, in full bloom, and any minute you're not going to be able to see your sneakers.”
“You're terrifying me. Is there anyway to avoid turning into a blimp?” she asked with worried eyes, and he leaned down and kissed her again.
“Absolutely none. It's a beautiful gift. Just enjoy it.”
“But will you still love me when I'm huge?” It was a familiar wail to any man whose wife had been pregnant.
“Of course. Wouldn't you love me if I were the one with a baby inside me?”
She laughed at the idea, but he made it sound so natural that it didn't seem so frightening suddenly. He did that with everything. With Bill, everything became normal and easy and simple. “Yes, I would.” She smiled up at him, cozy in his bed.
“Then that answers the question, doesn't it? You're beautiful pregnant. Maybe you should be worrying about whether or not you'll turn me on when you're skinny. We know what you do to me when you're like this.” He grinned evilly, and she laughed. She felt totally at ease with him, and loved as she never had been in her life. And the beauty of it was that she loved him, too, more than she had ever loved anyone …even Steven. Steven had never been this good to her, or this kind, or this wise, or this sensitive to her needs, and fears, and moods. There was no doubt in her mind. She was a lucky woman and William Thigpen was a rare person. “You drive me wild with desire, Adrian,” he teased, growling at her, as he pretended to attack her again, but gently.
“Never mind that,” she laughed. “Where's my popcorn?”
“You have no heart.” He leaned over and handed it to her. “Only stomach.” He kissed her loudly on her bottom then, and went to get them both a bottle of club soda, knowing before she said it that she was thirsty.
“You read my mind, do you know that?”
“It comes with the package.” He was dying to make love to her again, but he was afraid to overdo it and hurt the baby. He was willing to be patient and love her carefully for the next four and a half months. It seemed a small price to pay for the miracle of a baby, and the gift of sharing that with her. He helped himself to some of the popcorn, turned up the TV, and looked over at her. He felt as though they belonged to each other now, as though they were one, and had always been married. It was impossible to believe that she was married to someone else, and carrying another man's baby. A man who wanted neither Adrian nor the baby.
The phone rang as Adrian was drifting off to sleep, nestled next to him, while he watched the television and glanced at her occasionally with a warm smile, and a hand on her shoulder. It was Tommy and Adam safely arrived in New York, and calling to tell him.
“How was the trip?”
“Great!” Tommy said. The stewardess let him have three hot dogs. Bill had ordered special meals for them in L.A. He always did, it was just one of the many things he thought of. “How's Adrian? Is she there?” he asked hopefully, and Bill looked down at her and nodded.
“Yeah. We're watching TV and eating popcorn and we really miss you guys. It was really sad here after you left.” He was always honest with them, too, about how he felt. “We can hardly wait for Thanksgiving.” He was already using we to describe himself and Adrian. There was no doubt in his mind that they would still be together by then. Only then, they would have to say something to the boys about the baby. He would leave it to Adrian to decide what she wanted to tell them. And as he thought of it, he put a hand on her stomach again to see if he could feel the baby. He felt possessive about it now that he had been closer to it, and felt her body joined to his. He had never felt closer to any woman.
Adam got on the phone then and told him about the movie they'd seen on the plane. Something about the war in Vietnam, and it sounded upsetting to him, but Adam seemed to have loved it. He asked to speak to Adrian then, and Bill gently nudged her and put his hand over the receiver.
“It's Adam, sweetheart. He wants to talk to you.”
“Okay.” She reached for the phone with a sleepy smile, but when she spoke to him she made an effort to sound normal. “Hi, Adam. How was the trip? Any cute girls?”
He guffawed at the question. She had been the first to realize that he was becoming interested in girls, and spent a lot of time in the bathroom combing his hair with assorted products. “Not really. Just one, in the seat behind us.”
“Did you get her number?” Adrian teased, but he was serious when he answered.
“Yeah. She lives in Connecticut. Her dad is a pilot.”
“Too bad you weren't interested in her …much …”They both laughed, and a minute later she talked to Tommy, and told them both how much they missed them. “Your dad and I were sitting here all sad and lonely tonight. Even the popcorn isn't the same without you.”
“Thanks a lot.” Bill pretended to pout, and listened to the animated conversation between the three of them with pleasure. She was wonderful to his kids, and he would never forget her saving Tommy's life, and nearly losing her own and her baby's. He had never been so frightened as when he'd seen that little lifeless body, and then hers … he shuddered when he thought of it.
She handed the phone back to him then, and he chatted with the boys for a few minutes and then let them go so they could spend time with their mother. She hadn't seen them in a month and Bill knew she'd be anxious to see them.
“They sound so close, but they're so far away,” Adrian said sadly. Three months seemed an interminable wait to see them again, and she wondered how he stood it, particularly with no other family in California. It wasn't as though he was remarried and had other children. And even that might not have made a difference. Adam and Tommy were special and unique, and she knew now just how much he missed them. “It seems like an awfully long time till Thanksgiving.”
“Now you know what it's like, or a little bit anyway,” he said seriously, as he climbed back into bed with her and turned off the TV. “That's why I never wanted other children. I never wanted anyone to do that to me again. To take them away, to deprive me of them.No matter how decent Leslie is9 they still live with her and only spend six weeks a year with me, if I'm lucky, maybe seven. It's lousy.”