But he didn't call. His attorney did, half an hour later. Steven had called him within seven minutes. And the attorney had tried to call her attorney but couldn't reach him. So he called Adrian himself so he could call Steven back immediately and assuage his client's panic.
“Is there a problem, Mrs. Townsend? I understand you called your …Mr. Townsend this morning.”
“That's right. I wanted to speak to him.” For a mad moment, she had wanted to ask him why he was doing this to her, why he was taking everything away that had been theirs, and had rejected their baby. Now that it was moving, that it was alive, that she felt it, and could see the bulge that it caused in her body, she was even less able to understand how he could push them both away. It still didn't make sense, and she wanted to talk to him about it. It had nothing to do with how much she loved Bill. She did. But Steven was still the baby's father.
“Would you mind telling me why you were calling him?” He tried to sound kind. Steven had been adamant in his instructions.
“Yes, I would. It was personal.”
“I'm sorry.” He paused and Adrian understood all over again.
“He's not going to speak to me, is he?”
He didn't want to answer her directly, but the lack of an answer told her the same thing just as clearly. “He feels that … it would just be too difficult for both of you, particularly given the circumstances.” He was afraid she was going to get emotional and try and force the baby on him. He had no idea that she was living with a man who genuinely loved her, and wanted her baby. And he would never have been able to understand it.
“Is there a problem with the pregnancy? Something that relates to Mr. Townsend, in spite of his legal stance vis-&-vis the child?” She wanted to tell him to shut up, to knock off the legalese and deal with her like a human being. But the sad thing was that he was trying.
“No, never mind. Just tell him to forget it.” Which was exactly what he wanted. He had told the attorney that he wanted to forget everything about her, but the lawyer would never have told her.
She hung up the phone, and she was even more depressed that afternoon, and Bill sensed it again, but figured it was still about the apartment, even though he thought it was silly. But he had no idea that she had tried to call Steven, just to talk to him, just to ask him why, it wasn't that she even wanted to change his mind anymore, she just wanted to know why he hadn't loved her, and had refused to accept their baby. There had to be a reason, something more than just a difficult childhood. But she didn't want to tell Bill. She knew that it would hurt his feelings. Instead, she just sat quietly in the living room, and suggested they call the boys after dinner. Talking to them always cheered her up. And the next day, her lawyer called her again and gave her the name of the real estate agent who would be showing the apartment.
That weekend, she and Bill went away, and on Monday she felt better. The apartment didn't seem so important anymore, and she realized that she didn't need a place of her own. She was perfectly happy living with Bill. And the apartment she had shared with Steven wasn't worth trying to hang on to.
They had gone to stay with friends of his in Palm Beach, an actor who used to be on the show in his youth, and had gone on to make several very successful pictures. He was an interesting man, with a lovely family and a wife Adrian really liked. It had been a perfect weekend, and they had teased Bill a lot about the baby. They assumed it was his, and they didn't find it at all unusual that they weren't married. But they had also been very warm to the idea, and Janet, the actor's wife, had been wonderfully supportive about the “marvels” of being pregnant. There were times when Adrian wondered if she would ever survive it, and other times when she actually forgot she was pregnant at all. It seemed to depend on the day and the mood and what else had happened. But the thing to keep in mind, Janet had reminded her, was that at the end of the road, the reward was not fat thighs, which went away, Janet promised, but the greatest wonder of alclass="underline" a baby. They had both come back from the weekend feeling refreshed and excited about the baby. Bill pulled out some of the books he had bought her that they had never read, and read her all kinds of things that would have terrified her if she hadn't been in such a good mood. And in the end, they made love, which was much better.
And the next morning, at work, her attorney called her again and surprised her by announcing that there was an offer for the apartment, and Steven wanted to accept it. It was within ten thousand dollars of his asking price, and Adrian couldn't believe it.
“Already?”
“We were very surprised, too, and the buyer wants to close in thirty days, if that's all right with you. We realize that that may be too soon for you.” But all of a sudden she didn't care. It would be November by then, and the boys would be coming home for Thanksgiving, and Bill insisted that he wanted her to continue to stay with him, and he had already suggested that they turn the guest room into a nursery sometime in the next few months, which had bowled her over. “How do you feel about the thirty-day closing?” the attorney asked her directly.
“It's fine.” He was surprised to hear it.
“And the price?” She sat quietly for a minute, but only because in her head, she was saying good-bye to the apartment and to Steven.
“It's fine too.”
“You accept it?”
“Yes.” Christ. Push, push, push.
“I'll get the papers over to you this afternoon. You can sign them and I'll send them back to your husband's attorney.”
“Fine.”
“We'll send them right over.” And when he did, it seemed odd to see Steven's signature looking up at her. She hadn't seen any part of him in so long that seeing his handwriting was like a jolt into the past. But there was nothing else, no note, no letter, nothing jotted on the forms. He had completely removed himself from her life and he wanted to keep it that way, no matter what. It was almost as though he was afraid of her, but she couldn't understand why. It seemed so unreasonable, but maybe it no longer mattered.
She showed the papers to Bill that night and he said they looked fine, but he made a couple of suggestions, about the escrow, and how to handle the deposit, and suggested she talk to her divorce lawyer about them. And he warned her to be careful that she got her fair share out of the proceeds from the apartment. And then he asked her something he'd been wondering for a while, but hadn't wanted to bring it up, because he didn't want to upset her.
“What about spousal support? Has he offered you anything? And support for the baby?”
“I haven't asked for anything,” she said quietly. “I have my salary. And he's already told me that he won't support the baby. He's renouncing all his rights before it's born, I told you that.” She looked upset talking about it. “I don't want anything from him.” If he didn't want her, and the baby, then she didn't want his money. But Bill thought her sentiments were both noble and stupid.
“What if you get sick? If something happens to you?” he asked her gently.
“I have insurance,” she said, shrugging. And then he turned to her with a look of quiet exasperation.
“Why are you letting this guy off so damn easy, Adrian? Are you still in love with him? He deserted you. He owes you something, and the child.” And then he felt his heart sink as she shook her head and reached out to touch him.
“You know, I'm not in love with him. But I was married to him … he was my husband … he still is technically …and,” she almost gulped on the word, after everything Bill had done for her, but it was still the truth, “he's the baby's father.” She didn't want to hurt him, but it was true, and it meant something to her, and he knew it.
“That means a lot to you, doesn't it?”
She looked down at her hands and then looked up at him again as she nodded and spoke very softly. “Yes, it does. Not a lot. But something. It's his child, Bill. What if he comes to his senses one day? He has a right to something …some part of it … I don't want to slam all the doors on him, in case one day he wants that.”