‘Not as often as we practised “two cold beers, please,’” said Nell, trying to make light of it, but her heart was thumping with memories.
P.J. screwed up his face and held up his hand. ‘Hold on…nataka beer mbili, baridi sana,’ he said triumphantly after a moment. ‘You see, I remember!’
‘I’m impressed,’ she said. ‘I would never have been able to remember that.’
‘I remember everything.’ His voice changed. ‘I remember how to say “I love you,” too. Nakupenda sana. I would have said that to you every day.’
Treacherous tears pricked at Nell’s eyes, and she bent her head, pretending to check that the bag was properly closed this time. ‘It’s all a long time ago,’ she managed after a moment.
‘Sixteen years,’ said P.J. ‘Remember what plans we had? We were going to do all the game parks, and climb Kilimanjaro and swim in the Indian Ocean…and then there was Zanzibar… Didn’t we talk about driving across the Sahara at one time, when getting on a plane seemed too tame?’
‘We must have been mad,’ said Nell, resisting the lure of the memories with a physical effort. ‘When you think about it now, it seems totally unrealistic.’
‘We were young,’ said P.J. gently. ‘Don’t you ever wish you could still be that unrealistic?’
Nell nodded sadly. She had had enough reality over the last few years. ‘You can’t recapture that feeling though. You’re never that young again.’
‘It doesn’t mean you have to give up on dreams,’ he said.
‘No, but it’s easier to be realistic in the long run.’ Nell bit her lip. ‘It’s less disappointing that way.’
P.J. closed the phrase book and handed it back to her. ‘Did you ever go to Africa?’
‘No.’ Nell shook her head.
Simon wouldn’t even consider an adventure holiday. They had always gone to expensive resorts where the rooms were air-conditioned and the plumbing always worked and the pool was carefully filtered. Nell had used to suggest going out to see something of the country they were in, but Simon had never been interested. ‘We’re here to relax, Nell,’ he would say exasperatedly. ‘It’s all right for you, but I’ve been working flat out for months.’
Nell pushed the memory aside. ‘What about you?’
‘I went to Tanzania once a few years ago.’
‘Was it as wonderful?’ she asked, trying to keep the envy out of her voice.
‘It was beautiful,’ P.J. said slowly. ‘Even more so than we imagined.’
But he hadn’t really enjoyed it being there without her. He had found himself watching the sunset and thinking about Nell and what it would have been like if they’d come together as they’d planned.
He had never asked for two cold beers in Swahili. Marian was strictly a champagne and cocktails girl, who wouldn’t touch beer and who complained about the heat and the insects and the lack of any decent shops. The whole holiday had been disastrous. It had certainly spelt the end of that relationship.
‘I’m glad,’ said Nell. ‘We spent so much time dreaming about that trip, it would have been a shame if neither of us had gone.’
‘Yes, a shame,’ P.J. agreed, and their eyes met for a brief moment before Nell’s slid awkwardly away.
She was having trouble breathing again, and the silence lengthened as she tried desperately to think of something to say. She had the strangest sensation of being trapped in a bubble, isolated somehow from the chatter and the crowds that surrounded them, so that there was only P.J. and the silence and the memories that clamoured and jangled between them.
She had to break out, to get away from the bittersweet knowledge of what might have been.
‘I…I haven’t met any of the other members of your team yet,’ she said at last with an edge of desperation. ‘Perhaps you could introduce me?’
P.J. didn’t move. ‘Eve’s busy chatting them all up.’
‘I should go and join her, then.’ Nell could hear the tell-tale huskiness in her voice and cleared her throat. ‘That’s what I’m here for, after all.’
‘I think Eve would prefer you to stay right where you are,’ he said with a lazy smile. ‘She’ll think you’re doing a good job of sucking up to the boss.’
In a strange way, Nell was grateful to him for making her cross. ‘I wasn’t aware that I had been sucking up,’ she said tightly.
‘You haven’t-but there’s no need for Eve to know that, is there?’
‘Then what was the point of making me come here tonight?’
P.J. feigned surprise. ‘I didn’t make you do anything, did I? I merely invited you for a glass of free champagne.’
‘Yes, knowing perfectly well that I was in no position to refuse,’ said Nell, deliberately feeding her anger, which was so much easier to deal with than the memories. ‘Never mind that I’ve got a date tonight, which you also knew perfectly well!’ She looked at her watch. ‘And now I’m going to be late!’
CHAPTER NINE
‘I’M SURE John will understand,’ said P.J. ‘Why don’t you give him a call and tell him you’ll be a little late?’
Nell bit her lip. There was no way she was going to admit now that John was a blind date and that the only way she could contact him was to depend on him recognising her Swahili phrase book.
P.J. had picked up her mobile from the floor, so she could hardly claim that she had no way of getting in touch. And even if she did, he would probably just offer her his phone.
‘He doesn’t have a mobile,’ she said, driven into a corner.
P.J. looked surprised. ‘He doesn’t? Why not?’
‘He thinks they’re an intrusion,’ Nell improvised and then was vexed with herself for making the blameless John sound so boring. For all she knew, John had the latest technology coming out of his ears. ‘Anyway, I’m sure he’ll wait, but I’d better get going…’
‘Where are you meeting him?’
‘At Covent Garden.’
‘In a restaurant?’
‘No, in a bar-not that it’s any business of yours!’
‘Which one?’
‘Look, what’s with the interrogation?’ demanded Nell, ruffled.
P.J. held up his hands. ‘No interrogation. It’s just that I’m on my way to Covent Garden myself. I could give you a lift.’
‘There’s really no need,’ she began, but P.J. interrupted her.
‘I insist,’ he said. ‘As you’ve just pointed out, it’s my fault that you’re late, so it’s the least I can do.’
‘I’ll take the tube,’ said Nell stiffly, distrusting his motives. ‘It will be easier.’
‘In those shoes?’ P.J. nodded down at her feet. You didn’t need to be an aficionado of footwear to realise that those delicate straps and elegant heels weren’t meant for walking. ‘You know how far you have to walk along the tunnels underground, and I didn’t see a spare pair of shoes in that bag. It wouldn’t do that ankle of yours any good.’
That was unanswerable. This was Thea’s fault, Nell thought vengefully.
‘I wouldn’t have had to walk at all if you hadn’t made me come here,’ she grumbled, falling back on accusation. ‘I haven’t met a single one of your precious team and I’m just as much in the dark about your famous company culture as I was this afternoon! It’s been a complete waste of time.’
‘I wouldn’t say that,’ said P.J., and the undercurrent of amusement in his voice made Nell look at him sharply.
‘What on earth was the point of inviting me, then?’
‘I wanted to see you again,’ he said simply. ‘You wouldn’t have dinner with me, and getting you to come along this evening was the best I could think of on the spur of the moment.’
‘P.J…’ Nell wrenched her gaze away from the dancing blue depths. Couldn’t he see how impossible it would be? ‘I…I’d better go,’ she stammered, looking around for somewhere to put down her glass.