He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but the guide had nearly everyone back on the bus by the time she lifted a tearstained face off his shoulder and sniffed. “I’m so sorry.”
“Darlin’, you have nothing to apologize for.” He smoothed his thumbs along her cheeks, catching a few more tears. “You’ve been holding that in for a long time.”
“There was never time to… For any of it.”
No time, and it was hellishly hard to face certain facts when a person’s life was falling to pieces around them. Hell, they had so much in common, it wasn’t even funny. They’d taken different paths to reach where they were, but both of them were on their own roads back to the land of the living. He smoothed her hair back. “How do you feel now?”
She swallowed. “Better, I think. I…” She looked away and then seemed to force herself to meet his gaze. “Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it.” For all his affected nonchalance, Luke couldn’t help thinking that the balance had shifted between them. It had started in Norway, but they were rapidly reaching the point of no return. If he was going to be honest, they’d already flown straight past it.
He wasn’t sure he could walk away from her now, even if he wanted to.
Chapter Fifteen
Alexis made it through the rest of the tour without any more embarrassing breakdowns, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that something more profound than tears had happened back there by the gazebo. It had been like saying good-bye to Mom all over again, but this time, it felt…clean. There was no taint of sickness or the dawning horror of a family who had barely had a chance to say good-bye before they lost their rock. Maybe it was because she and Dad had been so happy here, or maybe it was because the family had survived. They kept living. Hell, some of them even flourished. Avery certainly had.
And as was becoming more and more clear, she hadn’t done too terribly for herself, either. Yes, it seemed like the world was ending in the last few years, but she’d survived.
I survived.
She wasn’t magically cured and moving on with her life, but it felt like a step in the right direction. More than that, something shifted between her and Luke back there. She kept catching him shooting unreadable looks in her direction—probably because she was doing her fair share of looking at him. Waiting for him to react to what she’d confessed.
But he didn’t.
When he put forth the idea to come to Salzburg, she doubted he realized he was signing on for a complete emotional breakdown. Except he hadn’t stood back at a safe distance. No, he’d been there to hold her up when she felt like her entire body was about to break apart. He’d held her through the storm and stood as her own personal bastion.
“What do you think about getting some food?”
She responded before her mind caught up with her mouth. “I’m not really hungry.”
“I’ll bet.” He touched the small of her back in a move he’d been using most of the day, steering her toward a little café down a side street she hadn’t noticed. “This isn’t exactly an alley, but try to restrain yourself. I’m just feeding you, not luring you off to steal your virtue.”
Against all reason, she smiled. “That’s probably for the best. You already stole it once today.”
His laughter warmed places she hadn’t even realized were cold in the first place. Luke slipped his arm around her waist. “If you’re lucky, I’ll steal it again before the night is over.”
His joking restored some of the norm to the whole situation—if walking down the street with a man she met less than a week ago after having a hurricane of an emotional meltdown on the Sound of Music bus tour was normal. She kept expecting him to ask questions or something, but he seemed to be just rolling with it. “If I’m lucky? Honey, you were the one pleading earlier.”
His eyebrows rose. “You have a very selective memory. Pretty sure there was some please Luke, oh my God, please going on.”
Heat stole across her cheeks, but she couldn’t stifle her grin. God, I really, really like this guy. “Fine. We’ll call this one a draw.”
“Deal.” He held open the door for her. “Now, food. You might not feel like it, but you need to eat.”
She wasn’t sure what to do with this caring side of him. “You’re very mother-hen right now.” She couldn’t remember the last person she’d let take care of her. Avery bullied her way into it sometimes, but it had become rarer and rarer over the last few years. Alexis always said she didn’t need it—she was more than capable of taking care of herself—but it was kind of nice with Luke.
He surveyed the café and then guided her to an empty table in the corner. “Goes with the territory.”
“What territory is that?”
He opened his mouth, choked off whatever he’d been about to say, and gave her a strained smile. “Marines, you know.”
She got the strangest feeling that he’d just lied to her. But that didn’t make sense. He’d already told her he was a Marine, and the injury to his side was consistent with an IED explosion. So why the tingling on the back of her neck? She shook her head. It must be leftover tension from earlier. That was all. “I thought your lot was more point-and-shoot than caregiver.”
“Yeah. A lot easier to kill than to save a life.”
It was something she’d heard Ryan say more times than she could count. Alexis frowned. “You don’t know a friend of mine—Ryan Flannery—do you?” She held her breath while she waited for his answer.
Luke rolled his eyes. “What is it with you and these Flannery guys? Ex-boyfriends?”
Picturing either of the Flannery brothers as boyfriend material made her cringe, especially since Drew was currently engaged to her little sister. “Ew, no. Family friends. Ryan is a pararescuer.”
He picked up the menu and scanned it. “Ah, that explains it. Those PJs are fucking crazy.”
“It’s been said before.” And still she couldn’t shake the feeling she was missing something. “Luke—”
“When were you diagnosed with cancer?”
All her breath left her in a rush. She’d known this was coming, but for him to ask her so nonchalantly blew her mind. “We’re not talking about me.” There was no reason to talk about it. She didn’t owe him anything…except he’d been there for her when she needed him. Didn’t that earn him the truth? He wasn’t Eric. He was so far from Eric, it was amazing that they both occupied the same planet.
“Sure we are.” He set his menu aside and propped his chin on his fists. “We’ve talked about me. Hell, I’ve told you things I haven’t told anyone else. While I’m not saying that it’s tit for tat, it’d be nice if you trusted me enough to return the favor.”
He was right. She knew he was right. But it was still so hard to talk about that time. The ironic thing was that it wasn’t the cancer that she was most ashamed of. It was that it had cost her both her pending marriage and her grandparents’ approval. “It’s hard to talk about.”
“I can only imagine.” The waitress approached, and he rattled off an order for each of them and then turned back to her without missing a beat. “I’m just trying to understand you. Let me in, darlin’.”
This was the moment when she could open up to him, or she could shut the whole thing down. It wouldn’t take much. One well-placed verbal jab and they’d be back on familiar territory and her heart would be safe. Because opening up to Luke was playing hell on her emotional state. She wished she could blame it on everything else going on, but it wouldn’t be the truth.