The truth was that something settled in her chest when she was in his arms, and she craved it with a violence that was usually reserved for chocolate and Dirty Dancing. If she let him in now, there would be no going back.
Alexis met his sea-green eyes, and the empathy there undid her. How could she stand against a Luke who protected her?
The answer—she couldn’t.
She bit her lip, seeming to waffle, and Luke held perfectly still while he waited. He could be patient when the situation called for it, and he couldn’t put into words how much he wanted to know the full story. Cancer was brutal to even the strongest person, and Alexis was certainly that, but it felt like there was more to the story. Something had put its poison into her heart and twisted, and he needed to know what it was.
As the waitress set two beers in front of them, she gave a defeated sigh. “Do you want the CliffsNotes version or the whole ugly tale?”
This would change everything between them. He was already on the fence about backing off when she went back to the States. If she gave him half a reason, he’d do everything in his power to convince her to give him a chance.
A chance at what?
Luke gritted his teeth. There was no point in fighting the truth—he’d already made a decision when it came to Alexis Yeung. He wasn’t letting her get away without a fight, which meant he needed all the information he could get his hands on, no matter how uncomfortable it made him. “Tell me all of it.”
Her smile wavered a bit around the edges. “I was afraid you’d say that.” She took a sip of her beer. “I’m not asking for pity, okay? I’m just telling you what you asked to know.”
Dread wormed its way into his gut. What the hell did she have to say that she felt the need to preface it with that warning? It doesn’t matter. I need to know the full story. “Look at me, darlin’. Mine is not the face of pity.”
She laughed like he’d wanted her to. “Fair point. Okay, here goes.” Another drink of beer, though this time she was obviously stalling. “When my mom died, there were a lot of changes. Obviously. Like I mentioned before, my grandparents transplanted from China and came to live with us and to make sure we were brought up right.” Her face twisted. “Their version of right, which included yanking me out of dance class because it didn’t meet the requirements of their standard of a good Chinese woman.”
He decided right then and there that someday he’d take Alexis dancing. He might not be able to keep up, but she obviously missed it. The longing was written all over her face. “They sound better and better, the more I hear.”
“You aren’t the only one to feel that way, but they’re family.” She shrugged. “The thing is, they’re extremely traditional. From the time I was eighteen, they had it drilled into my head that the only way to bring honor to the family was to marry a pure Chinese man and pop out a baby or two.”
The thought of her marrying someone, let alone having children with him, made him want to break something. The sheer violence of his response shocked him. Yeah, he hadn’t been thrilled with her threats to chase down any man who would have her, but those were just empty promises. Marriage… That was different. Permanent. He was so busy fighting his reaction to her story, he almost missed the next part.
“So after I finished college, I ended up engaged to Eric.”
Shock reared up and kicked him right in the chest. “You’re engaged?”
“Not anymore. He broke the engagement a little over a year ago.” She stared into her beer. “You see, when I was twenty-eight, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer—the same cancer that killed my mom. It wasn’t as far gone as hers—not by a long shot—but I still went through a full hysterectomy and a round of chemo.”
The sadness on her face hit him right where it hurt, and it was everything he could do not to reach for her. “Aw, darlin’—”
She talked right over him, as if she had to get this out or she wouldn’t finish. “I’m fine. They keep an eye on it, but it hasn’t come back. It might never come back.” She set her beer aside. “But after the chemo was done, Eric sat me down and told me that he’d never signed on for this kind of commitment, especially when the possibility of biological children was gone.” Her smile was so brittle, it felt like it actually cut him. “Besides, I was never that good in bed to begin with.”
“I’ll kill him.” Luke twisted the cloth napkin between his hands, imagining it was that piece of shit’s neck. He knew he was mangling it, but if he didn’t keep himself busy, he might lose his shit right here and now.
He looked up to find Alexis’s eyes unnaturally wide. “Uh… That’s not necessary.”
This was what she was running from. Her asshole ex who’d kicked her when she was down. What kind of man said something like that to a woman he was supposed to love enough to marry? Even more than that, what kind of man tossed a woman like Alexis to the side solely because she couldn’t have biological children? She’d just survived fucking cancer and that’s all that idiot could focus on? He gritted his teeth. “It has nothing to do with necessary. It’ll be my pleasure.”
“That’s, uh, sweet, but no thanks.” Her hand shook a little when she drank her beer. “Besides, it’s nothing worse than what Yé-yé said afterward. I’m one gigantic black spot on the family honor, apparently.”
Jesus Christ. He was half a step away from burning her whole fucking town to the ground. “Your dad sat back and let these assholes talk to you like that?”
“It’s not like that.” Her eyes flashed at his attack of her father. “Dad loves me regardless of if I’m following Yé-yé’s wishes or not. And I don’t think he liked Eric all that much to begin with. Avery definitely didn’t.”
Yeah, from what he knew of his brief interaction with Avery last year, she would have been raring and ready to hamstring Alexis’s ex after knowing he said that to her. So why didn’t she? Neither Avery nor Flannery’s little brother were known for their restraint. Unless… “You didn’t tell your sister, did you?”
“She knows how our grandfather feels about me.”
Which was a neat side step. Luke narrowed his eyes. “Do your sister and dad know about what your ex said to you?”
“They’re not stupid, and Eric’s timing wasn’t subtle.”
Which wasn’t the same thing as her telling them the truth. He had a feeling that Alexis had made a habit of stuffing down her issues from the time her mother died. So her hurt and betrayal at both her grandfather and fiancé—two people who should have been at her back no matter what life threw at her—had been bottled up until she couldn’t deal with it anymore, and…
Realization hit. Avery was pregnant.
That had to be the catalyst for her booking a ticket to Europe without a word of warning. Not that he could voice his realization to Alexis, because how the hell would he know that her sister was knocked up? So he set aside the knowledge and reached across the table to take her hand. “I’m going to tell you something, and I need you to perk up those pretty ears because I’m only going to say it once. You listening?”
“Not every part of me is pretty.” When he just stared, she sighed. “Yes, I’m listening.”
“You are a beautiful fucking person, Alexis, and your ability to have kids has absolutely nothing to do with your worth. Nothing. You hear me?” It wasn’t like his words would magically take away the wounds of the past, but she needed to hear them spoken aloud.
And he needed to say them.
Her lower lip trembled a little, but she managed a smile and a nod. “I hear you, Luke.”
Chapter Sixteen
As they walked out of the café, Alexis didn’t think she’d ever felt so raw before. She’d given him everything, and he hadn’t so much as balked or made a snide comment. Instead he’d looked into her eyes and voiced the one thing she’d needed to hear above all others. She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do now. Hold his hand? Kiss him? Drag him off to the nearest hostel and get him naked as quickly as physically possible? She looked around, taking in the architecture that was so prominent in the city. It was so familiar, even if she’d never walked down this street before, and it all reminded her of Mom. “I…” She cut herself off. Even now, it was so hard to put herself out there.