He squeezed her hand. “You betcha. I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.” At least not until he had to.
She didn’t answer. But when she leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her other hand over their joined fingers, that heart that Simone had already cracked crumbled right at his feet.
No, he’d never really wanted kids of his own, but he’d sure fallen for this kid. And the knowledge that he wasn’t just losing the love of his life in this whole mess, but also a family he’d never expected to want, caused that pain in his chest to multiply by ten.
The plane came to a stop at the gate, and, reluctantly, he let go of Shannon’s hand and pushed to his feet. Nerves showed clearly on her face while she pulled her bag from beneath the seat in front of her, but there was nothing he could do to ease either of them at this point. Passengers began filtering off the plane. When Shannon slid the straps of her bag over her shoulders, Mitch asked, “Ready?”
Shannon shrugged, but her sad eyes didn’t meet his. “I guess.”
They headed off the plane and up the Jetway. The terminal was a buzz of activity, just like always. Travelers rushed by. He grasped Shannon’s hand to keep from getting separated. With every step they moved toward security, his adrenaline shot up another notch.
Shannon rubbed the sleeve of her free arm over her eyes, and Mitch knew she was upset, but he was tapped out and didn’t know how to console her. They moved through security without speaking, and when they cleared the checkpoint, Mitch’s nerves hummed as he scanned the faces waiting expectantly for arrivals.
Simone moved out from behind an excited family hugging a returning soldier, and Mitch’s first thought was that she didn’t look like the confident, put-together lawyer she always was. Her hair was clipped up in a messy do, dark circles showed beneath her eyes, and worry was etched across her face. But even mussed and obviously stressed, she was still gorgeous, dressed in slim jeans and a loose white T-shirt. And his heart did a flip—just like it always did when he saw her—then dropped like a stone straight into his belly.
Shannon’s feet drew to a stop beside him, and she tugged on his hand, stopping his forward momentum. He looked down at her. Watched tears fill her eyes. And had an overwhelming urge to wrap her in his arms and hold on to her, since he knew he could no longer hold on to her mother. But before he could do just that, the tears spilled over her eyelashes, she pulled free of his hand, dropped her backpack on the ground, and sprinted toward Simone.
Simone fell to one knee and caught her in a tight hug. Shannon held on for dear life and sobbed. Mitch couldn’t hear what Simone said to her daughter, but the relief and love rushing over Simone’s features told him everything he needed to know.
He was the outsider here. He’d gotten so caught up in the whole idea of having a ready-made family, he hadn’t paid attention to what was right in front of his eyes. Simone and Shannon were a unit. They needed each other, just like Julia and Ryan needed one another. And though they’d let him into their circle for a little while, their world wouldn’t crumble without him. Even if things hadn’t gone to shit between him and Simone, he always would have been the outsider, looking in, wanting to be a part of something that, frankly, wasn’t his to want.
That realization sliced right through the center of his chest, but he clenched his jaw, picked up Shannon’s bag from the floor, and forced his feet forward. He stopped two steps from mother and daughter, still tangled together, and cleared his throat. All he wanted now was to get the hell out of here, but for Shannon’s sake, he stood still. And waited.
Simone looked up at him. Tears glistened in her eyes. Tears a part of him wished she’d shed, just once, for him. “Thank you,” she whispered.
He nodded. Couldn’t seem to find anything else to say. Cleared his throat again. “Shannon, I need to get going.”
Shannon turned in her mother’s arms. Blinked several times. Then swiped her sleeve over her damp eyes. “Already?”
“Yeah.”
Simone pushed to her feet. “Are you heading back to Seattle right away?”
Small talk. Mitch could handle small talk, for Shannon’s sake. He shifted his backpack on his shoulder and tucked one hand into the front pocket of his jeans. “No. Tomorrow. I need to pick up a few files I left at the office.”
Simone nodded and placed both hands on her daughter’s shoulders. “I-I’m…sorry we interrupted your plans.”
“Shannon is never an interruption.”
Shannon’s eyes filled with tears again, and that was all Mitch could take. He had to get out of here, before he said or did something he’d regret later. Before he begged.
“Anytime you want to talk, Shannon, just call. I have my cell on me most of the time. And don’t give your mom too much trouble. She loves you, even when you don’t think she does.”
A tear spilled over Shannon’s lashes, and she nodded.
“Mitch,” Simone whispered, stepping around Shannon.
Yeah. No. He was not about to reopen wounds that were already oozing.
Mitch gripped his backpack at the shoulder and turned. “I gotta go.”
He pushed his feet forward one step at a time. Refused to look back. Forced himself to head across the long, wide hallway toward the doors to freedom. Two days ago, he thought his heart had shattered when Simone had told him she didn’t love him, but today he knew no matter where he went in his life, it would never be whole again.
“Mitch!”
He stopped at the sound of Shannon’s voice and glanced over his shoulder. Shannon darted around Simone and streaked across the airport. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She held her arms out wide.
He dropped to his knees, caught her in a tight hug, closed his eyes, and held her close.
“I love you,” she sobbed.
“Ah, sweetheart.” His chest squeezed tight. “I love you too. That’s never going to change.”
“But you’re leaving.”
“I’ll be back, Shannon.” He eased away just enough so he could swipe at her tears. Swallowed back his own. “I have to leave for my job, but that doesn’t mean I’m not coming back. I’ll always come back.”
Her shoulders shook with her heart-wrenching sobs.
God, this was killing him. He brushed the tears from her cheek once more. “Tell you what. Opening day, just you and me. I need my best girl to cheer on the Giants with me. What do you say? Is it a date?”
She sniffled. Rubbed her eyes. Seemed unsure. “O-okay.”
“Okay.” He had no idea if she’d even be here on opening day, if Simone was staying in San Francisco or leaving like she’d told him she planned to do. But he’d do whatever he could to make this easier for her. Even if it killed him just a little bit more. “Okay. See? There’s nothing to be sad about. This isn’t good-bye. Before you know it, I’ll be back from British Columbia, and we’ll be heading to AT&T Park.”
She sniffled once more. Drew up her shoulders and swiped at her tears. “Promise?”
He forced a smile for her, knowing there was no way he could ever love his own kid more than he loved her. “I promise.”
She sucked in a deep breath, then slowly let it out. And as her own lips curled into a forced smile, he knew nothing, not even nearly dying from a head wound, compared to the pain he felt at this moment.
Tears threatened, and he knew if he didn’t leave now, he might not be able to without making a total ass of himself. Careful not to look at Simone, he grabbed his bag from the ground, tapped Shannon on the nose, and beat feet for the doors.
Then told himself he was better off without them. Even if in his heart he knew that was a total lie.