The police captain was reading the arrest report when Officer Delinko and the sergeant came in. The captain motioned for both men to sit down.
"Nice work," he told Officer Delinko. "You've made my life a whole lot easier. I just got off the horn with Councilman Grandy, and he's one happy camper."
"I'm glad, sir," Officer Delinko said.
"What do you make of this Matherson kid? What's he told you?"
"Not much."
The interrogation of Dana Matherson hadn't gone as smoothly as Officer Delinko had hoped. In the training films, the suspects always caved in and confessed to their crimes. However, Dana had remained stubbornly uncooperative, and his statements were confusing.
At first he'd said he was snooping around the Mother Paula's property in order to heist a load of Gladiator cigarettes. However, after speaking with a lawyer, the boy changed his story. He claimed he'd actually gone to the trailer to bum a cigarette, but the foreman mistook him for a burglar and came after him with a gun.
"Matherson's a hard case," Officer Delinko told the captain.
"Yeah," the sergeant said, "he's been around the block a few times."
The captain nodded. "I saw his rap sheet. But here's what bothers me: The kid's a thief, not a practical joker. I can't picture him dumping alligators in port-a-potties. Stealing port-a-potties maybe."
"I wondered about that, too," Officer Delinko said.
The Mother Paula's vandal had displayed a dark sense of humor that didn't fit the Matherson boy's dim-witted criminal history. He seemed more likely to strip the wheels from a patrol car than to paint the windshield black or hang his shirt like a pennant from the antenna.
"What's his motive for the funny stuff?" the captain wondered aloud.
"I asked him if he had a gripe against Mother Paula's pancakes," Officer Delinko said, "and he did say IHOP's were better."
"That's it? He likes IHOP pancakes better?"
"Except for the buttermilks," Officer Delinko reported. "He had nice things to say about Mother Paula's buttermilks."
Gruffly, the sergeant interjected: "Aw, the kid's jerking our chain, is all."
The captain pushed back slowly from his desk. He could feel another crusher of a headache coming on.
"Okay, I'm making a command decision here," he said. "Considering we've got nothing better to work with, I intend to tell Chief Deacon that the Mother Paula's vandal has been apprehended. Case closed."
Officer Delinko cleared his throat. "Sir, I found a piece of a shirt at the crime scene-a shirt that's way too small to fit the Matherson boy."
He didn't mention that the remainder of the shirt had been tied, tauntingly, to the antenna of his squad car.
"We need more than a rag," the captain grunted. "We need a warm body, and the only one we've got is sitting in juvenile detention. So officially he's our perpetrator, understand?"
Officer Delinko and his sergeant agreed in unison.
"I'm going out on a limb here, so you know what that means," the captain said. "If another crime happens on that property, I'll look like a complete bozo. And if I end up looking like a bozo, certain people around here are going to spend the rest of their careers cleaning dimes out of parking meters. Am I making myself clear?"
Again Officer Delinko and his sergeant said yes.
"Excellent," said the captain. "So your mission, basically, is to make sure there's no more surprises between now and the Mother Paula's groundbreaking ceremony on Wednesday."
"No sweat." The sergeant rose to his feet. "Can we tell David the good news?"
"Sooner the better," said the captain. "Officer Delinko, you're back on the road, effective immediately. In addition, the sergeant has written a letter commending the outstanding job you did in capturing our suspect. This will become part of your permanent file."
Officer Delinko was beaming. "Thank you, sir!"
"There's more. Because of your experience on this case, I'm assigning you to a special patrol at the Mother Paula's construction site. Twelve hours on, twelve hours off, beginning tonight at dusk. You up for that?"
"Absolutely, Captain."
"Then go home and take a nap," the captain advised, "because if you doze off out there again, I'll be writing a much shorter letter for your file. A termination letter."
Outside the captain's office, Officer Delinko's sergeant gave him a hearty slap on the back. "Two nights and we're home free, David. You psyched?"
"One question, sir. Will I be on duty out there alone?"
"Well, we're hurting on the night shift right now," the sergeant told him. "Kirby got stung by a yellow jacket, and Miller's out with a sinus infection. Looks like you'll be riding solo."
"That's okay," Officer Delinko said, though he would have preferred to have a partner, under the circumstances. Curly probably would be staying at the trailer, though he wasn't the best company.
"You drink coffee, David?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Drink twice as much as usual," the sergeant said. "I don't expect anything to happen, but you'd better be wide awake if it does."
On the way home, Officer Delinko stopped at a souvenir shop along the main highway. Then he swung by the Juvenile Detention Center to take one more crack at Dana Matherson. It would be such a relief if the boy admitted to even one of the earlier vandalisms.
Dana was brought to the interview room by a uniformed guard, who took a position outside the door. The kid was dressed in a rumpled gray jumpsuit with the word INMATE stenciled in capital letters across the back. He wore only socks because his toes were still swollen from the rattraps. Officer Delinko offered him a stick of gum, which the kid crammed into his cheeks.
"So, young man, you've had some time to think."
"'Bout what?" Dana blew a bubble and popped it.
"You know. Your situation."
"I don't need to think," the boy said. "That's how come I got a lawyer."
Officer Delinko leaned forward. "Forget the lawyers, okay? I'll put in a good word with the judge if you'll just help me clear up some other cases. Are you the one who painted the windows of my patrol car?"
The boy snorted. "Why would I do a dumb-ass thing like that?"
"Come on, Dana, I can make things easier for you. Just tell me the truth."
"I got a better idea," the boy said. "Why don't you just kiss my big fat butt?"
Officer Delinko folded his arms. "See, that's exactly the sort of disrespect for authority that got you here in the first place."
"No, man, I'll tell you what got me here. That little dork Roy Eberhardt is what got me here."
"Not this again," Officer Delinko said, rising. "Obviously we're wasting our time."
Dana Matherson sneered. "Duh-uh."
He pointed at the small shopping bag that the patrolman had placed on the table. "You finally bring me some smokes?"
"No, but I got you something else." Officer Delinko reached into the bag. "A little buddy to keep you company," he said, casually dropping it in the boy's lap.
Dana Matherson howled and bucked and tried to knock it away, toppling his chair in the panic. He leaped up from the floor and scrambled out the door, where the guard clamped a brawny hand on his arm and led him off.
Officer Delinko was left alone to ponder the object lying on the linoleum tile-toothy, scaly, and lifelike, except for the $3.95 price sticker glued to its snout.
It was a rubber alligator, which Officer Delinko had purchased at the tourist shop.
Dana Matherson's reaction to the harmless toy convinced the patrolman that he couldn't possibly be the Mother Paula's vandal. Anyone so freaked out by a puny fake wasn't capable of handling a real alligator, especially in the forbidding darkness of a Travelin' Johnny.