5. After paying for your items, return to the baggage claim area and wait for your luggage.
6. Proceed with your cart, which contains your newly purchased items and hopefully your luggage, to the customs line.
7. Wait in the customs line. Once you are at the front of the line you will see a large black button. If upon pressing this button you get:
A. lucky (a green light), proceed directly to the airport terminal, making your way through the sea of noisy awaiting relatives;
B. unlucky (a red light, followed by a honking sound), turn left into the customs inspection line, and wait for an agent to inspect your luggage. In the unfortunate event the customs agent finds an item he wishes you to pay duty on, simply proceed in the following manner:
Step 1. Create a friendly atmosphere by smiling before shaking the agent’s hand when you meet him.
Step 2. Give him a thumbs-up and say:
«E aí mermão, beleza?»
Step 3. Pull out your previously prepared bogus receipt, pat him on the back and smile, saying:
«Aí, o negócio é o seguinte…»
(Your explanation should be dramatic, taking no less than four minutes.)
Step 4. Inquire as to the recent soccer scores and suggest discussing the issue at hand over uma estupidamente gelada.
Step 5. If you still haven’t received the desired response, put on an innocent face and say:
«Num dá pra dá um jeitinho?»
(You may not get out of paying the duty charges, but it’s always worth a try.)
The «jeitinho»: The Carioca will always try to find some way around a problem. This attitude is second nature to a Carioca and is referred to as the jeitinho (the Brazilian knack of getting around anything).
Therefore, your first Step to becoming a successful Carioca is learning to recognize situations in which you, too, can use the jeitinho. For future reference, the following are just a few examples of when resorting to the jeitinho might be appropriate:
• parking your car
• paying for a service
• looking for a rest room
• getting a job
• getting through lines
• dealing with the law
• resolving traffic problems
• taking a bus without any cash
• using a public pay phone
• getting a taxi at six p.m.
Lesson 4
Essential Vocabulary Words and Phrases
In order to best enjoy your stay in Rio, it is essential you understand the local dialect. Therefore, the most important Step on the road to becoming a true Carioca is developing familiarity with the following vocabulary words and phrases. Throughout the lessons in this book, upon finding non-English words in bold print, refer back to this chapter for their definitions. Then learn to use them with fluency.
By the way, the pronunciation is simple: where there is one «r» the sound will be «h» or «rr,» where there is a «te» say «tch,» and always ignore the «h.» Remember that many words have been spelled phonetically as a guide towards correct pronunciation.
Aí [ah ’ее]: Hey! (as in «Aí, me vê uma caipirinha» «Hey, give me a caipirinha.») Term used at the beginning of ninety percent of the sentences spoken by a Carioca.
A gente se vê [ah ’gen tche see ’veh]: See you.
alugar [ah loo ’gah]: to «rent» someone by talking too much and boring them. (As in «Ela me alugou a noite toda.»: «She bored the pants off me all night.»)
alucinante [ah loo see ’nan tche]: cool, awesome, excellent.
amarelar [ah mah rreh ’lah]: to chicken out of doing something scary.
Aparece lá em casa [ah pah ’rreh see lah eyn ’kah zah]: Show up at my place. (A phrase used by Cariocas when terminating a social encounter. Note: This should never be interpreted as an imitation.)
apê [ah ’peh]: an apartment built for one that often accommodates six or more.
armar [ah ’mahrr]: to set up something (like a date or a trip).
babaca [bah ’bah kah]: a jerk.
badalada [’bah dah ’lah dah]: a place or thing that is happening.
baranga [bah ’rran gah]: a woman with an unappealing body.
barzinho [bah ’zee nyoo]: small bar where Cariocas belly-up for a cafezinho or a shot of cachaça. See boteco.
bodibodin [baw gee ’baw geen]: water sport consisting of catching a wave with a body-sized compressed rubber board.
boteco [booh ’teh koo]: Carioca fast-food joint. The same as a barzinho or botequim, but smaller, often having only two tiny metal tables next to the bar.
botequim [booh tchee ’keen]: Carioca’s favorite hang-out. Larger than a boteco, usually situated on a corner, and often having a few tables on the sidewalk.
bunda [’boon dah]: derriere. Watching women’s bundas is a popular Carioca year-around sport.
cachaça [kah ’shah sah]: Brazil’s answer to kerosene and alcohol. Made from sugar cane, it is the basic ingredient in the Carioca’s favorite drink. See caipirinha.
cadê [kah ’deh]: Where is…? (as in «Cadê meu livro?»: «Where is my book?»)
camburão [come boo’ rrown] or cambura: police vehicle made for four policemen and with room in the back for eventually arrested criminals. Usually seen with six cops riding with their machine guns out the window. The «cage»(caçapa) on the back is made for two, but as many people as necessary can be shoved in.
caipirinha [kahee pee ’rreen nyah]: favorite Carioca drink; always followed by another. See cachaça.
camelô [kah meh ’loh]: street vendor.
caninha [kah ’neen nyah]: 1. police officer (cop); 2. the basic ingredient in the Carioca’s favorite drink. Same as cachaça.
cara [’kah rrah]: a guy or man (as in «Aí, cara»: «Hey, man»).
Caralho [kah ’rrah lyoo]: Holy cow!
cheques voadores [’sheh keesh voh ah ’doh rreesh]: checks that when deposited in the bank fly back due to lack of funds.
cerva [’seh vah]: bottled beer (short for cerveja).