From: “Toulouse Trotter” <harlequinboy@home.com
To: “Amaryllis” <lanimottCASA@hotmail.com
Subject: i-mail
we should do instant mail?
From: “Amaryllis” <lanimottCASA@hotmail.com
To: “Toulouse Trotter” <harlequinboy@home.com
Subject: SORRY SORRY SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!
my dearest DEAREST darling toulouse, i am SO SO SORRY i did not write yesterday but i was with my brother and sister at california adventure. there is a limousine ride where they make you feel like a star arriving at a premiere and i so thought of boulder! on another ride we got wet wet wet!!! the babies were SO HAPPY.
when when WHEN was your BIRTHDAY?????????? what sign are you? are you 14 yet?
i did talk to topsy last week but only on the phone. /i still call him that because that is what he used to call himself./ i told him about the day i met you and boulder and everyone. how is she? i want to see the movie she made. is she making others? did you know that she visited mac (the place i was staying and went a.w.o.l. from? but i never got a chance to talk to her.) but i think i may have told you that already. topsy told me he sees you a lot and that makes me glad. but do you think WE could see each other soon? i want to give you a birthday KISS. i have not talked to my foster parents about it yet. (and NO, lani would NEVER read what you wrote me. she knows i would KILL her. just kidding.) but i don’t think they would say no. would your mother? we could go to trader joe’s, the place we all went to dinner that was polynesian. the food was SO GOOD!!!! i have to go — lani says i MUST do homewwork. she has threatened to RESTRICT my email if I don’t go RIGHT NOW! your friend and love, amaryllis
p. s. that was SO INTERESTING about what happened when you looked for karma. i guess it was your karma?!! and i KNOW what pull-man’s last thought would be: how to EAT the perfect potato chip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: “Amaryllis” <lanimottCASA@hotmail.com
To: “Toulouse Trotter” <harlequinboy@home.com
Subject: re: i-mail
lani is so freaked about computers that she only has HOTMAIL and cannot do INSTANT. I think INSTANT is available on HOTMAIL but lani doesn’t know how to do it and i think the other person has to have HOTMAIL too.
love, amaryllis
From: “Toulouse Trotter” <harlequinboy@home.com
To: “Amaryllis” <lanimottCASA@hotmail.com
Subject: summer RULES
hi, am. that’s short for amaryllis. my mother always shortens names — she used to call me “tull” but not so much anymore. now everyone calls me mostly toulouse. my father kind of named me that. but there was a famous french painter too called toulouse lautrec. he was short in stature but amazing. he has a tattoo about it (my father, not the short painter) which is actually a very bad french pun. if i call you am, you can say “i think therefore i am.” that’s a bad pun too. guess it runs in the family.
i was fourteen in march. i am an aries — the ram. (i think therefore, i ram. sorry!!!!!) are you thirteen yet?
my father and i are spending more time together and he and my mom have seen each other too. but all of us haven’t really been together at the same time because i think my mom is being somewhat protective of me, but mostly of herself. (occasionally she sees him when he’s picking me up or dropping me off and i can tell by the way they look at each other that they still love that maybe they are still in love.) my grandfather seems happier too because my grandma bluey is doing better. she has alzheimer’s. did i tell you that he was actually going to sue my aunt joyce (edward’s mother; grandpa’s daughter-in-law) so that he could dig up eddie’s grave and bury him over on “his side”? how fucked up is THAT? i think he’s getting a little crazy in his old age. it runs in the family, you know. meanwhile my aunt is busy burying babies that are donated to her after police find them in dumpsters. (she is burying the babies on “edward’s side,” which further freaks my grandfather out.) what a family!!!!! the trotters are INSANE
i am really glad you are spending time with your brother and sis. they must be SO HAPPY. in a way, i think it is good they were so young when all those bad things happened to them. sometimes i think that is a blessing but maybe i am wrong.
i think my father may be moving back from santa barbara soon. my uncle dodd owns a lot of houses near his old grammar school and i think my dad father is going to move into one. i don’t think he enjoys living his life with such opulence and that house in santa barbara is a real mansion. i think he gets lonely up there too. also, his main psychotherapist is in beverly hills. living in one of my uncle’s houses, he can pretty much walk everywhere he needs to go. also, he is getting rid of those men who were always around him for whatever reason — making sure he didn’t go apeshit!!! or whatever. i think maybe he will keep just ONE of them but mostly in case he needs to drive somewhere. the man can take him. (my dad still doesn’t have a license. that makes two of us.)
i would VERY much like to see you and mentioned it to mom. i think she may have spoken to lani already? maybe not so don’t mention it to YOUR mom. it will be summer soon and trinnie was talking about taking us (me and lucy) to the adirondacks. my grandfather has owned a house (it is called *twig house*) there for i think forty years. wouldn’t it be cool if you could go! but maybe you have plans for the summer and are going to school or something. your foster parents might object.
the name of that place we all went to was trader vic’s and it is the COOLEST. the sundaes are called SNOWBALLS, remember? it’s so hard thinking of a summer without edward. i’ve never had one before.
ps. does “foster parents” sound lame?
love, Toulouse
From: “Amaryllis” <lanimottCASA@hotmail.com
To: “Toulouse Trotter” <harlequinboy@home.com
Subject: oh my god, said am
oh my god toulouse summer at that place with you and lucy would be so cool & crazy!!! i didn’t mention anything to lani yet.
i am a libra. i will be thirteen in five months. i will cook dinner for you.
what is a “french pun”?
i am very sorry about the alzheimer’s and have looked it up on the internet.
i went with my brother and sister went to the OLD disneyland. my brother is soooo cute!!! (my sister is too) they were on the roger rabbit. did you know a bunch of kids died on it? my friends at school say people die on it all the time, like once a week, but everyone is paid by the lawyers not to talk about it. toulouse — there is something i wanted to speak about to you but if you don’t want to then it is ok. that time when we went to that weird tower and i acted in a certain way and you told me to stop. i have felt so bad about it and want you to know that is not the way i am. i really care about you and it hurts me to think that YOU might think i am someone else than i really am. i don’t know what was wrong with me that day. i would like you to one day be my boyfriend and would not want you to think i was a *ho* even though i acted in a slutty way. i am so absolutely NOT!
and oh oh oh! my mother just came in the room and said she talked to YOUR mom and that we could see each other SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!! (she said it will be *supervised*) that is, if you still want to after i brought up that old thing that happened in the tower. but anyway, if you still want to see me, i can’t wait!!!!!!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooo your ***MORE*** than friend, AM (“am” i in love?)
p. s. it is ok to say *foster parents* but you can just say parents too.
From: “Amaryllis” <lanimottCASA@hotmail.com