“A couple of those objects that I had in that worn suitcase, which you also carried that evening and which I didn’t let out of my hands later, will accompany me; all the others I have destroyed. Thus I leave together with my shame and love. Love me because of my great shame, which I am taking with me.
“My last wish is that my death notice be put in an Estonian newspaper. That is for you. If you read that announcement – it is complete, so you won’t mistake my name, you will recognise me – and if you are still interested enough in my fate to go to my grandfather’s place within three days – he’s expecting you – then you will receive this letter from him. He promised that, and I believe he will keep his promise as well, just as I once kept the pledge I gave him. But if you don’t go to grandfather within three days, he will burn this letter without reading it himself or letting anyone else read it. Thus no one apart from grandfather and us two knows of this letter, not even Ervin, and only I know its contents, and you may know it too if you appear within three days.
“I have said everything I have to say. Now I feel pure and blessed, at least before you. I only ask, love me a little longer, a little while longer! If I don’t come to your mind at any other time, perhaps I will when you happen to pass along the Avenue of Lies, where you once clutched my legs and where I committed my crime. Think of me for just a moment with love. Think because, although I killed our life’s dream, I wanted so much to be like an open book to you, and if I couldn’t be that in my mortal body, then I am that now with a living soul. Take it and love it, as long as you live. I will never cease loving you. Erika”