"No," said Butland. They argued for a while. Butland had never been proselytized, but he gave a good theological account of himself.
THEN he remembered the arguments wherewith Rex Piper always used to upset him.
He said: "You say that Ng is omnipotent?"
"Yes," said the Alan.
"And omniscient?"
"Yes."
"And all-good?"
"Yes."
"And he made everything?"
"Yes."
"But still evil exists?"
"Y-yes, "
"Well, who made the evil, then?"
The Alan was stumped, as Butland had been on previous occasions. The Alan fidgeted nervously. Finally he threw himself down on the yellow floor, kicking his heels and wailing in his own language.
"What are you saying?" asked Butland.
The Alan left off his wailing long enough to translate. These were an indomitably polite race."I was begging Ng's pardon for having doubted him! This is terrible! Nobody ever brought up that point of yours before! I must go to our learned doctors, to have the truth expounded!"
"You'd better take me back to my room first."
The Alan did so. Kitty Blake had already returned. Butland told her what had happened to him. He added: "If I ever gambled, I'd bet you that we're the next two specimens to go in their museum."
"That sounds likely, Will. When do you suppose they'll kill us?"
"I suppose when they've finished questioning us. There won't be anything malicious about it."
"Maybe we can stall; keep the questions going."
During the following days they practiced the technique of stalling on the unfortunate Ngat; speaking slowly, digressing widely, and holding interminable arguments with each other over trivial points.
Chapter V. Too Dangerous to Live
ONE day Butland propounded to Ngat the question that had so upset Ngat's assistant. Ngat sat motionless for a long while. Then he said: "You must excuse me for the rest of the day. I do not feel well. I will take you back to your room."
Back in their room they found Rex Piper awaiting them. They threw themselves upon him; Kitty hugged him and Butland wrung his hand. Then they saw that he looked very serious.
"What's happened in our world?" asked Butland.
"Plenty." Piper told them how the religion of Ng was advancing by giant strides."These Alans have got every earthly preacher, salesman, advertising man, or what have you licked in matters of mass psychology. They give away tons of junk to get worshippers to come around. They hold a kind of bingo game. They use colored lights and smells and music."
"Aren't they under any sort of control?"
"No; we don't dare say boo, after that little military demonstration they put on. Already they've got a tenth of the people of New York City converted. They've installed a kind of siren in the tower of the Empire State Building, in charge of one of their priests of Ng. Every time the priest gets inspired he yanks the cord, and the siren goes off, and all the converts in the city drop what they're doing and do pushups."
"That must be tough on the rest of you," said Kitty Blake.
"It is, especially when the convert is the motorman on a train, for instance. And—you know five is their sacred number? They won't let us sell anything for five cents or five dollars or any multiple thereof. Nickels are holy, and the priests of Ng wander down Fifth Avenue collecting them with those little gadgets that motormen on the Fifth Avenue busses used to snatch our dimes with." He turned to Butland."You really ought to be there, Will. You'd know what your poor heathen feel like when you get to work on them."
"What else is there?" asked Butland.
"Oh, they think our marriage-customs are most immoral. They haven't figured out new ones for us yet, but they will. The trouble is that we have only two sexes, while they have three."
Kitty Blake said: "You mean like ants, male, female, and neuter?"
"No; three honest-to-God sexes. I'll tell you about it when Will's not around; I don't want to shock him. How's he been behaving?"
"So good it hurts," said Kitty Blake."Not one little pass has he made."
"Okay. Your father will be waiting at the portal with a shotgun on your return, but I'll go ahead and explain things. By the bye, do you mind if I speak to Will alone?"
THE girl went through the wall at the point marked by the green rectangle. Rex Piper pulled out an automatic pistol. His face got very tense and serious, and he said: "I'm sorry, Will, damned sorry, but I've got to kill you."
"What?" yelped Butland, jumping up.
"Kill you, I said. I hate to do it, but—"
"You're crazy!"
"Not at all. The President of the United States himself ordered me to. We feel that—"
"Then he's crazy too!"
"—you're too conscientious. With your profound convictions you'll make trouble with the Alans; try to interfere with their damned Ng or something, and they'll take it out on the poor earth. You're too dangerous to be left in their hands. And since we can't rescue you..." Piper raised the pistol.
Butland, backing away from the menacing muzzle, tripped on the nearest couch and fell backward. The shot missed him and flattened itself against the yellow wall. Butland scrambled to hands and knees. The couch hid him from Piper temporarily. He tugged at it. It was light. He picked it up and ran at his cousin, holding the couch for a shield. The pistol roared again, but as Piper was unable to see the upper part of Butland's body the shot went through the couch and missed Butland. Butland slammed the couch down on top of Piper, crushing his lanky cousin to the floor.
A fist holding the pistol stuck out from under the couch. Butland grabbed at the pistol. It went off; the slide scorched and bruised his hand. He shifted his position to kick the hand. He kicked the pistol out of it, but in shifting he took enough weight off Piper for the latter to get his knees under him. Piper heaved both Butland and the couch off himself.
They both got to their feet and swung. Butland landed the first real punch, on Piper's nose. Piper staggered and ran into a clinch. That was an error; Butland picked him up and slammed him down on the floor with terrific force.
When Rex Piper came to, Will Butland was standing over him with the pistol in his hand."Get up, damn your soul," said the missionary.
Piper shook his head."What did you say?"
"I said get up, damn your soul."
"Did you say damn, Will?"
"You're damn right."
Piper shook his head some more."I still don't believe it. You must have dropped me on my head when you threw me." Piper mopped his nosebleed with his handkerchief."I think you loosened one of my teeth. But it was worth it, if I've lived to hear you say 'damn'. What's come over you?"
"I've decided that you're right about this being out of the Lord's territory. Or maybe I'm just mad about the treatment the world hands out to those who try to save it. Anyway, from now on I'll do what I think best, whether it agrees with the books or not. Get up."
Kitty Blake stuck her head through the door."Have you boys finished—Rex! Your nose! What's going on?"
Will Butland told her. He finished: "Are you on my side?"
"I—I suppose so—though I can't believe Rex would hurt a fly, let alone shoot—"
"I wouldn't hurt a fly, but Will's not a fly," said Piper.
Butland snapped: "Do you want to stay here till they mount you in the museum, Kitty?"
"Of course not. But how—"
"I have an idea of how these Alans' minds work, even if they are cleverer than we. For one thing, having no crime to speak of, they won't know how to defend themselves against it. Kitty, you take this gun and cover Rex while I catch some sleep. Shoot him if he moves toward you."