“But John, it could be dangerous.”
“Oh, certainly,” I said. “I wouldn’t have done it myself. But the captain has his heart set on it, and I have an obligation to go if he asks.”
“But you might be killed, John! What then?”
“It’s never happened before,” I said, but the utter blankness of Dalusa’s response showed that my wit had been lost in translation. “It’s a little risky,” I said, “but I’m a resourseful sort—more so than the captain thinks.”
“Oh, John, don’t go! The thing that took the crewman . last night still might be waiting. Tell the captain to not go!”
“What thing that took the crewmen? Dalusa, don’t be absurd. They fell overboard. There’s nothing waiting down there.” I regretted the words as soon as they were spoken—they struck a chill into me. Dalusa seemed to perk up, though.
“I don’t understand mankind,” she said. “But this is human, yes? To help someone who needs you, even if it’s dangerous—even if it hurts?”
“Yes.” I said, nodding sagely. “That’s part of it.”
“Then, John, goodt I can do that. I’m not afraid, either. Some day I will do that, too, and you can be proud of me—like I’m proud of you, John.”
“All right, sweetheart,” I said. I sniffed. “I think your pastry’s burning,” I said, and after that I saw to it that we talked of other things.
That night Desperandum called me into his cabin.
“This is it, Newhouse!” he told me excitedly. “I’m going down to see it with my own eyes! I want firsthand contact with the data!”
“That’s wonderful, Captain,” I said. “A remarkable feat of engineering. It’s hollow, though. How will you get it to sink?”
“The crew is storing ballast in it this very minute.”
“Then how will you get back to the surface?”
“Easily. Just like flying an airplane. It’s also heavier than the medium that supports it, you see? And I have a powerful engine.”
“Then how will you get out?”
“I have my axe on board. I’ll rendezvous with the Lunglance and cut my way out in a matter of seconds.”
“And the sharks, Captain?”
“They can’t follow me into the depths. I’ve examined their metabolisms; they’re not built for it. This whale is built for better things than they.”
“How will you breathe?”
“I have my oxygen mask!” the captain shouted. “I have it all planned!”
“It’s an amazing piece of work, Captain,” I told him’ soothingly.
Desperandum looked at me sharply. He got up from his worktable and went to the cabin door. He opened it quickly and looked out, but there toas no one there. He shut the door and bolted it.
“I’m glad, to see you show so much enthusiasm for the venture,” he said. “Because I want you to come with me.”
I had expected this and I made a determined effort to talk my way out of it. “Captain, sir,” I said, “who financed this expedition? Who worked tirelessly to promote it? Who chose the experiments, carried them out, recorded them? Who made a lasting contribution to human knowledge, gave new insights into the ecology of an entire planet? It was you. My contributions were minimal, not worth mentioning. No, Captain; you honor me too much, you flatter me beyond my worth. What would they say of me? That my reputation was made at the expense of a better man. I’m just a ship’s cook, a wanderer far from home, but I have too much pride to sink to such a thing.” Aghast at my unconscious pun, I hurried on. “The glory should all be yours, Captain. It belongs not to me, but to Nils Desperandum.”
“Ah, but thafs where you’re wrong,” the Captain said slowly. “Desperandum’s just a dustmask of a name. The real credit belongs to me—Ericald Svobold.”
I was stunned. “You’re Svobold? The discoverer of—that is—"
“Syncophine, that’s right,” the captain said mercilessly. “Oh, I gave up using Flare years ago, but I can still recognize a user.”
There was silence. I laughed, rather shrilly. “It’s ironic, Captain. You know, you’ve been my idol for years. Why, I’ve drunk and dropped to your memory a hundred times. But if the legends are right, why, you must be over four hundred years—"
“Let’s not get into that,” the captain said. “Let’s stick to the here and now. When you get to be my age you’ll find that’s best. Now, I don’t know how or why you introduced Murphig to syncophine. I don’t know how or why your henchman and my sharpest crewman both died in a single night. Your guilt or innocence is not my concern. But there’s no way out for you now, Newhouse. You might as well stop squirming. You know you’re caught. I can tell it just by looking at your face. Fm old, all right, but not in my dotage. Oh no. It doesn’t happen like that nowadays, not to us galactics. We only get sharper and sharper—God only knows how intolerably sharp we can become. If you could see the things I see for just one day—but that’s beside the point.
“I need you, Newhouse. I need a witness. I would have taken Murphig, you see. He was the only man among the crew, the only Nullaquan who could have understood the incredible revelations we’re going to find.down there. The rest of these woodenheads—they don’t even have thfe saving grace of curiosity that Murphig had. So that leaves you, sir.”
“But it’s not so, Captain,” I said. “I’m hardly your most reliable witness. I’m a vagrant. And, yes, I use drugs. You need a solid, down-to-earth sort. First mate Flack for instance.”
“Flack has a wife and children,” the captain said chillingly. “And he doesn’t have half your mental agility. You know, I could almost admire you, Newhouse. I can understand your corrupting Murphig—and liquidating Calothrick, who was a jackal anyway—but I cant understand your leading on Dalusa, that poor tormented creature. That was a vicious act And I’m offering you a chance to purify yourself, to do something selfless for once. Think of it, Newhouse. Don’t you need this as much as I do?”
“You’re mistaken,” I said. I love Dalusa. When this is over I’m going to take her away—someplace where we can live free from death and madness.”
Desperandum looked at me closely for over a minute. Finally he said, “You do love her, don’t you? You’re in even worse trouble than I thought.”
“That remains to be seen,” I said. “Captain—Captain Svobold—if the legends are true, you’re a man of honor. I still love life, but I’ll court death with you if I must. But I want your word that after this there will be no more threats, spoken or unspoken.”
“You have my word,” Desperandum said. He extended his hand. I shook it, with the whimsical feeling of a nightmare.
Then I secured my mask and went up on deck. To starboard, the men were still working on the whale. I went down to the kitchen to sleep.
Next morning, Desperandum was eager to be under way. There was barely time for a brief, tearful farewell to Dalusa before he called me to his cabin. From there, the captain and I walked across the deck toward our odd vehicle with all the dignity we could muster. Through some atavistic social instinct I was still putting a good face on matters, and the captain was the gentleman scientist to the end. Calmly, he shook the hands of his three mates, making them wince. Knowing no better, I shook them too.
“Are you really going down there, Cookie?” Orent asked me as he shook my hand. I nodded. I was already regretting that Grent’s voice would be one of my last memories.
“Hope you’re back in time for supper,” he said. I nodded again, unable to reply because of the mask. I might have denounced the captain otherwise, shouted: “He’s crazy, don’t you see? He has to be restrained for his own good!” But it wouldn’t have worked. The captain would have seen to it that my life was ruined; it would have hurt Dalusa as well.