He rolled off, flopping onto his back, and gazed at the pale blue sky, blinded by sunlight. He groped about, found his sunglasses, and put them on. The world was reduced to a fine sunset level, and he looked around. Vana was sprawled at his side, eyes shut, legs apart, gelatinous liquids marking the place of his entry and exit. She was breathing slowly, deeply, lips pressed tightly together, smiling slightly, perhaps concentrating on the fading sensations of satiation, prolonging the sense of contact and pleasure. A human shadow fell across the blanket and he looked up quickly. It was Ariane, naked and beautiful. She was grinningslyly, her teeth showing white against a dark tan. She raised one hand and waved, a little wiggling of fingers.
Brendan felt dismay. " Ari, I ..."
"Oh, shut up!" She jumped into his lap and kissed him, grinding herself against the wetness of his groin. He wanted to speak, to say something, anything, but she wouldn't let him. She forced him back on the blanket, worrying at his body, bringing him up into a new round of responses, almost unwilling. She squatted over his face, making him service her will, lay on her back and pulled him onto her, guiding him into her, moving under him in cadences all her own.
Vana watched them and, presently, began to stroke his back gently, rubbing the sweat around, smoothing it into a thin layer that evaporated with swift coolness.
The future crashed down on him and began the present again. Well, he told himself, I wish I'd had that kind of cavalier attitude to play with. I certainly would have been happier. Is that what I am now?
Perhaps I am reduced to their level. In a way I hope so.
He walked on, seeking the things that he knew would come, going to watch scenes that would prove certain things to him once and for all.
Tem and Axie were sitting together on a couch in the CM's common room, enjoying afterglow, watching the yet uncompleted actions of the little group before them, and talking quietly of the future. The time to come was a little hard to contemplate right now, but surely something would come of it all. Perhaps the adventure of Iris and Centrum was over, perhaps not, but Formis Fusion would come, bringing its horde of USEC scientists, and perhaps they would be allowed to join that group, contributing the knowledge that had already been gleaned. Brendan had promised a few surprises.
"What do you think they'll do?" asked the woman.
The Selenite shrugged. "I can't imagine. We've considered that they might punish us for all the destruction that's been wrought, but I don't think so. There's no jurisdiction outhere, not yet, and there are enough competing power groups in the Solar System that I imagine that we'll be safe." Aksinia paused and reflected for a moment. "Here we all are, all except Beth. It would never have occurred to me before how John and Brendan and Jana are freaks, outside the accepted norms, and how their presence is so divisive among us. I thought I was the freak. They keep pushing the limits, shredding and reassembling themselves according to the moment. And everything—everyone—is grist for their mill."
Tem watched the cavorting bodies at his feet. "I don't think I know what you mean. I am a physicist after all. I am guilty too."
"We are all guilty," she said. "Only some of us are guiltier than others. Perhaps I am being unfair. It's so difficult to think without falling into these endless paradoxes. I will not cast the first stone."
"Is that all? Should we try? Would it hurt anyone to try and draw him in, make him a part of the group at last? We know that's what he wants."
"Do we? The only way we can tell is to not help him. Until he makes some effort at a rapprochement on his own."
"But he is my friend. Maybe ..."
The door crackled open and they fell silent. Brendan came in and drifted down on the couch beside them, bouncing lightly. Tem looked at him apprehensively and then glanced across the room. Vana, Harmon, and Ariane were there, locked into a slowly moving, three-cornered embrace. How would the man react? There was no way to predict his response, but he was frowning already, staring at the three naked bodies. Krzakwa tensed himself against possible violence.
Brendan stared at them, absorbing the scene. It was, he thought, typically foolish-looking. It was unaesthetic, but he could imagine how the participants felt quite easily. Vana had her head buried between Ariane's legs and she was, herself, sucking on the man. Harmon had positioned himself poorly and so was forced to work on Berenguer with the fingers of one hand. Brendan's frown deepened. So it doesn't botherme anymore. So what? All it means is that I don't care anymore. Why not? I guess I don't care about that either. I don't care about any of these people; I probably never have. Funny how I could mistake selfishness for love. . . . Was it that? Yes, on both our parts. The only person on this ship who was ever capable of real love was Demogorgon, and he was really crazy! It's probably just as well ... or am I fooling myself there too? If so, I should accept it as being a necessary thing to me. A little voice from deep inside argued against that tack, but he ignored it. There were more important things to worry about now. He could fret and whine about the absurdities of his immortal soul some other time, when he was bored and had nothing better to do.
He turned to Tem and smiled. "I finally managed to get in touch with Demogorgon," he said. Krzakwa breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes? How is he?"
"Hard to tell. I didn't get to talk to him directly, but he delegated a section of Bright Illimit to communicate with us. He seems to be doing fairly well."
"So what will be happening next?"
Brendan grinned broadly and a bit of the old satanity lit up his features. "A lot. He's planning to fire up the Mother Ship's photon drive."
Tem felt an electric tension growing in him, a stern jolt of horror that made him sit slowly upright, releasing Axie's hand. "What?" he cried, aghast. "Oh, Jesus!" Sealock stood up, laughing at him. The old self returns, he thought, and welcome back to reality!
Things proceeded swiftly then.
The technicians among them swept into a nightmare matrix of action, pushing the others aside as they went about the tasks that would have to be accomplished so quickly. Tem and Brendan worked side by side once again, a team for just another little while, joined by the computer skills of Ariane and the limited technical competence that was Harmon's. Li-jiang worked with them, contributing Jana's knowledge that had been carried over into Demogorgon's body.
Polariswas torn asunder, never to rise again, quicklyreduced to a pile of reusable components. The colony was gutted. Domes were collapsed, cut apart, the CM was brought forth to stand once again beneath the everlasting darkness that Iris so easily dominated. The beambuilder machines went to work, resurrecting the matrix of girders that had once been the core of a ship. The Hyloxso matrices were recharged from the waters of their pool, the reactor was gingerly transferred back to its spot, and the ion drill, an engine once again, was slid back into its nacelle.
Deepstarwas reborn, sitting on its four spindly legs upon the smudged and scraped ice, all its components restored as if they had never been touched. The colony site would never look as it had when they first arrived. It was a ruined space, littered with broken and useless throw-offs, dirty and, in its way, depressing. Where the domes had been there were porous-looking, circular discolorations of the ice. They finished, exhausted, but it was done in plenty of time. In the end, there was more time to think.