Comfort and joy,
O, eating brains brings us comfort and joy.
SILVER BRAINS
Sung to the tune of “Silver Bells”
City sidewalks, busy sidewalks,
Simply teeming with brains!
In the air
There’s a new
Zombie virus.
Undead laughing,
Brains they’re passing,
Eating mile after mile,
And on ev’ry street corner you’ll hear:
Silver brains! Silver brains!
It’s undead party time in the city.
Do our thing! Hear them scream!
The Zombie will carry the day!
All the streetlights,
Even stoplights,
No longer blink red and green
As the shoppers become barricaders!
Hear the bones crunch,
See the kids munch,
Even on Santa we feed.
And above all the gristle
You’ll hear:
Let’s eat brains, silver brains!
It’s undead party time in the city.
Do our thing, hear them scream!
Soon it will be Christmas Day.
I’LL BE UNDEAD FOR CHRISTMAS
Sung to the tune of “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”
I’ll be undead for Christmas,
Eating more than I usually do,
And although I know it’s a long road home,
I’ll be fueled by goo.
Chorus
Christmas Eve will find me
Wherever brains will be.
I’ll be undead for Christmas,
When I hear your screams.
I’ll be undead this Christmas—
Yes the virus, it got me.
Tramp through the snow, to eat some toes
And brains under the tree.
Chorus
When I hear your screams.
When I hear your screams.
GRANDMA GOT TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE
Sung to the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”
Chorus
Grandma got turned into a Zombie,
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve.
You can say there’s no such thing as Undead.
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.
She’d been drinkin’ too much eggnog,
And we’d begged her not to go.
But she ignored our Zombie warnings,
And she staggered out the door into the snow.
When we found her Christmas mornin’
At the scene of the attack,
She was missing part of her forehead,
And incriminatin’ undead marks were on her back.
Chorus
Now we’re all so proud of Grandpa.
He’s been takin’ this so well;
See him in there with a sharp machete,
Drinkin’ beer and loadin’ his shotgun up with shells.
It’s not Christmas without Grandma;
All the family waits for her attack,
And we just can’t help but wonder:
Should we decapitate her with a whack?
Chorus
Now Grandma’s out there clawing at the window,
And Grandpa, he doesn’t give a fig.
He will take his sharp machete,
And chop right down through Grandma’s blue-haired wig.
I’ve warned all my friends and neighbors,
Better stock up your pantry shelves.
The Undead surely are a menace,
And some of them look like their former selves.
Chorus
IT’S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME TO FEEL FEAR
Sung to the tune of “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear,
While the virus is jelling,
And everyone’s yelling that Zombies are here,
It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear.
There’ll be fresh brains for roasting,
Intestines for toasting,
And body parts out in the snow.
There’ll be Undead beheading
And Zombies a-spreading,
From viruses long, long ago.
It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear.
There’ll be no Zombies slowing,
And brains will be glowing,
When undead ones are near.
It’s the most wonderful time to feel fear!
WE WISH YOU AN UNDEAD CHRISTMAS
Sung to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”
Chorus
We wish you an undead Christmas;
We wish you an undead Christmas;
We wish you an undead Christmas while we chew off your ear.
Zombie virus we bring to you and your kin;
We’ll eat brains for Christmas and through the New Year.
Oh, bring us a hippocampus;
Oh, bring us a hippocampus;
Oh, bring us a hippocampus and a cup of root beer.
We won’t go until we eat you;
We won’t go until we eat you;
We won’t go until we eat you, so come on out here.
Chorus
SMASH THEIR HEADS WITH A ROCK
Sung to the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”
Zombies yell, Undead smell, heads smashed with rocks,
Human guts swing, and hear them all scream,
Snarling and growling as the humans all run—
Now the Zombie hop has begun.
Zombies yell, undead smell, heads smashed with rocks,
Jingle bells chime in Zombie hell time.
Dancing and prancing, Zombies beware;
They’re in the frosty air.
What a virus! It’s inside us.
They’ll eat our brains all day.
Virus time is a swell time
To get the hell out of here any old way.
Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet,
Zombies are on our block.
Mix and a-mingle with their shuffling feet.
Here the Zombies yell,
We’re in undead hell.
Smash their heads with a rock!
RUDOLPH, THE ZOMBIE REINDEER
Sung to the tune of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
He ate Dasher, then Dancer,
Then Prancer and Vixen.
He downed Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
Yes, he ate them all, the most
Famous undead reindeer of alclass="underline"
Rudolph, the Zombie reindeer,
Caught the virus through his nose.
And if you ever saw him,
You would even say he’s gross.
All of the other reindeer
Tried real hard to get away.
But they didn’t count on Rudolph
Eating them anyway.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
“Rudolph, with your Zombie blight,