“Don't shout, idiot,” Monkey said with a smile, “don't shout. Let's go back and see our master.”
When Pig reached the top of the bank with Monkey, Sanzang bowed to him and said, “You've had a tough time, disciple.”
“I wouldn't say that,” Pig replied. “But if we'd captured that evil spirit and made him take you across the river, that would have been the perfect solution.”
“How did your battle with the evil spirit go?” Sanzang asked.
“He's as good as me,” Pig replied. “When I pretended to be beaten in the fight he chased me to the river's edge; but then he saw elder brother waving his cudgel, so he ran away.”
“So what are we going to do?” Sanzang asked.
“Relax, master,” said Monkey, “there's no need to worry. It's getting late, so you'd better sit on the bank while I go and beg some food. When you've eaten that you can go to sleep, and we can decide what to do tomorrow morning.”
“Good idea,” said Pig. “Be as quick as you can.”
Monkey leapt up on his cloud, went due North to a house where he begged some food, and came back to give it to his master. Seeing him come back so soon, Sanzang said to him, “Monkey, let's go to the house where you begged this food and ask them how to cross this river. That would be better than having to fight this ogre.”
“But that house is a long way away,” laughed Monkey. “It's about two thousand miles from here. What would be the point in asking them about this river? They wouldn't know anything about it.”
“You're telling tall stories again,” Pig said. “If it's two thousand miles away, how did you get there and back so fast?”
“You wouldn't know, of course,” Brother Monkey replied, “that my somersault cloud can cover thirty-six thousand miles with a single bound. To do a mere two-thousand-mile return journey takes only a couple of nods and a bow-there's nothing to it.”
“If it's so easy, brother,” said Pig, “you should carry the master on your back, take him across with just a couple of nods and a bow, and save us all the trouble of fighting the monster.”
“You can ride clouds, can't you?” said Monkey. “Why don't you carry the master across?”
“The master's mortal flesh and bones are heavier than Mount Tai,” said Pig, “So although I can ride clouds I could never lift him. Nothing but your somersault will do the trick.”
“My somersault is the same as cloud-riding.” Monkey said, “except that it takes you further. I'm no more able to carry him than you are. As the old saying goes, 'Mount Tai is as easy to move as a mustard seed, but a mortal cannot be dragged away from the earthly dust.' When that other poisonous monster of a fiend made a magic wind I could only move the master by dragging and tugging him along the ground. Of course. I can do tricks like that, and all those other ones like making myself invisible or shrinking land. But although our master cannot escape from the sea of suffering he wants to go to a foreign land, so he finds every inch of the way heavy going. All we can do is escort him and see that he comes to no harm. We can't undergo all that suffering on his behalf, nor can we fetch the scriptures for him. Even if we went ahead to see the Buddha, he wouldn't give the scriptures to you or me. After all, if we could get them that easily, we'd have nothing to do.” The idiot accepted everything Monkey said, then they ate some plain rice without any vegetables, after which the three of them went to sleep on the Eastern bank of the Flowing Sands River.
“Monkey,” said Sanzang the next morning, “what are we going to do about it today?”
“There's nothing for it but to send Pig back under the water,” Monkey replied. “You're making me go underwater because you want to stay dry, brother,” Pig protested. “I won't be impatient this time,” Monkey said. “I'll let you lure him out onto the bank and then I'll cut him off from the river. That way we'll be bound to catch him.”
Dear Pig rubbed his face, summoned up his energy, took his rake in both hands, went down to the river, and parted the waters as he went back to the monster's lair once more. The ogre, who had only just woken up, turned to see what was happening the moment he heard the waters being pushed apart. Observing that a rake-wielding Pig was upon him, he sprang to his feet to stop him, shouting, “Not so fast, not so fast. Take this.” Pig blocked the blow from the staff with his rake and said, “What do you mean by telling your ancestor to 'take this' from that mourner's staff of yours?”
“You know nothing, you wretch,” the monster replied, continuing:
“Great is the fame of this staff of mine,
Made from a Sala tree on the moon.
Wu Gang cut down a branch of it,
For Lu Ban to work with his unrivalled skill.
A strip of gold goes right through its heart,
And it is set with countless pearls.
It is a precious staff, fine for subduing fiends;
It could quell all demons when it guarded the Heavenly Palace.
When I was commissioned as High General
The Jade Emperor gave it me to use.
It can be any length I wish,
Thick or thin, responding to my will.
It protected the Emperor at Peach Banquets,
Attended at court in the upper world.
When I was at the palace, it met all the sages,
When I lifted the curtain, it greeted the Immortals.
I nurtured it and made it a divine weapon-
This is no ordinary earthly arm.
When I was sent down from Heaven in exile
I roamed at will throughout the world.
I do not need to boast about this staff,
Unmatched by any spear or saber in the world.
Look at that rusty rake of yours,
Only good for farming or growing vegetables.”
“I'll give you the beating you deserve, damn you,” said Pig. “Never mind about vegetable-growing-one swipe from it and you'll have nowhere left to put ointment, because your blood will be pouring out from nine holes. Even if it doesn't kill you, you'll have tetanus for the rest of your days.” The ogre dropped his defensive posture and fought with Pig from the river-bed to the surface of the water. This battle was fiercer than the earlier ones:
The precious staff whirled,
The deadly rake struck,
And no word passed between the two foes.
Because the Mother of Wood conquered the Medicine Measure
The pair of them had to fight each other twice.
With no victory,
And no defeat,
The waves were overturned and knew no peace.
How could the one hold back his anger?
How could the other bear his humiliation?
As the staff parried the rake's blows, they showed their prowess;
Each was most vicious as the Flowing Sands River rolled.
Towering rage,
Strenuous efforts,
All because Sanzang wanted to go West.
The rake was thoroughly murderous,
The staff was wielded with experience.
Pig grabbed his enemy, trying to drag him ashore,
While the other in torn tried to pull Pig under water.
The thunderous noise disturbed fish and dragons;